Talk:House Party (Super Junior song)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 13:19, 26 May 2022 (UTC)

I will start this review soon, though it might take a few days. --K. Peake 13:19, 26 May 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Change to disco-pop in the infobox instead of listing them as two separate genres, for consistency with the body and original article
 * fixed
 * Remove trap since the mention of it constitutes as elements only
 * removed
 * WP:OVERLINK of Yoo Young-jin under lyricist(s)
 * unlinked
 * "boy band Super Junior. It is the second track on their" → "boy band Super Junior for their" because the track number is not notable when this was released as a single
 * fixed
 * "Christian Fast, Didrik Thott and Sebastian Thott." → "Christian Fast, and Didrik and Sebastian Thott." per MOS:SURNAME, also this should be the sentence before the release one
 * sentence fixed and moved
 * "on March 16, 2021 by" → "on March 16, 2021, by" and why is Dreamus not mentioned with the other labels?
 * sentence fixed. Dreamus is a distributing label, I am not sure whether to include it or not but I've added it to the sentence
 * Mention that the release followed a teaser and why the song was chosen by the band
 * Teaser mentioned. I've tried to add the reasoning but it just doesn't flow well in the paragraph. Should I directly lift the line from the article such as "It was selected as the title track because the band wanted those who are feeling tired or depressed to be able to listen to bright and enjoyable music.", or should it be something like "The band selected the song for its bright and enjoyable music and dedicated it to those who are feeling tired or depressed.", or something else altogether? Lulusword   (talk)  15:24, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * "and heavily referred to social distancing rule implemented during" → "and heavily refer to social distancing rules implemented during"
 * fixed
 * Wikilink music video and move the first mention to being the sentence directly before two further music videos in the second para
 * linked, sentence moved
 * "received positive reviews for" → "received positive reviews from critics for"
 * fixed
 * "the director-general of" → "the director-general of the" with the pipe
 * fixed
 * Add a sentence after reception mentioning the song's positions on the K-pop Hot 100 and World Digital Song Sales charts
 * Added
 * Mention any notable live performance(s) after the music video
 * Added
 * "Shindong were released on March 29, 2021 after the original video" → "Shindong, were released on March 29, 2021, after the original visual"
 * fixed

Background and release

 * Remove nine-piece South Korean boyband introduction since this is not required nor sourced here
 * removed
 * "on November 6, 2020." → "on November 6." to avoid overusage of 2020
 * fixed
 * "Its release was further delayed to February 2021 due to issue" → "The release was further delayed to February 2021 due to issues"
 * fixed
 * "as well as setting the album's and the title track's" → "setting the album and the title track's", as this is what the postpone was
 * fixed
 * "and a dark "trap" theme." → "and a dark "trap" one." to be less repetitive
 * fixed
 * "Siwon and Donghae was released on March 3," → "Siwon, and Donghae was released on the date," with the pipe
 * fixed and piped accordingly
 * "Kyuhyun and Shindong" → "Kyuhyun, and Shindong" with the pipe
 * link fixed
 * "of Heechul, Yesung and Ryeowook" → "of Heechul, Yesung, and Ryeowook" with the pipes
 * link fixed
 * You did not add the comma here or the previous occasion --K. Peake 07:08, 30 May 2022 (UTC)


 * I must have overlooked them as I was focusing on the link, they are fixed now! Lulusword   (talk)  11:20, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * "to be the second track in" → "to be the second track on"
 * fixed
 * Pipe digitally to Music download
 * link added
 * "the band also admitted that they" → "the band also admitted they felt that"
 * omitted "that"
 * The music video info should be in promotion instead
 * moved paragraph
 * Wikilink music video
 * link added
 * "in between March 10 to" → "in between March 10 and"
 * fixed
 * Wikilink new normal to itself, no section
 * link fixed
 * "it featured conflicts between" → "it features a conflict between"
 * fixed
 * "2 am of March 25, Leeteuk, the band leader" → "2 am on March 25, 2021, the band leader Leeteuk"
 * fixed
 * The red circle part is unsourced
 * remove the description
 * "next to set." → "next to the set."
 * fixed
 * "on March 29, which were directed by Shindong, one" → "on March 29, 2021, which were directed by Shindong."
 * fixed

Composition

 * Retitle to Composition and lyrics
 * Retitled
 * Audio sample looks good!
 * "Christian Fast, Sebastian Thott and Didrik Thott. " → "Christian Fast, and Sebastian and Didrik Thott." per MOS:SAMESURNAME
 * Fixed
 * Move the key sentence to being the one directly after dance song and trap infused part
 * Rearranged
 * "Musically, it is a" → "Musically, "House Party" is a"
 * Fixed
 * Remove the exciting and addictive parts, as these lack neutrality
 * Description removed
 * "It is also described" → "The song has also been described"
 * Sentence fixed
 * Remove Indonesian news outlet introduction to IDN Times
 * Removed
 * "as upbeat and contained" → "as upbeat and containing"
 * Fixed
 * "many rearrangement before" → "many rearrangements before"
 * Fixed
 * ""House Party" lyrics contained hopeful message as it encouraged" → "The lyrics of "House Party" contain a hopeful message, encouraging"
 * Fixed
 * "It also heavily referenced" → "It also heavily references"
 * Fixed
 * "and obey the social distancing rules" → "and obey the rules"
 * Fixed
 * "a verse spoke about" → "one verse speaks about"
 * Fixed
 * "It also spoke about the" → "It also discusses the"
 * Fixed
 * "Heechul rapped about" → "Heechul raps about"
 * Fixed
 * "such as travelling as it is still dangerous to be outside" → "such as travelling due to the danger of being outside"
 * Fixed
 * "Eunhyuk opined that "K-pop" → "Eunhyuk opined, "K-pop" unless this is not a full sentence, then keep the prose the same but remove the full-stop from inside quotation marks per MOS:QUOTE
 * Fix sentence as the quote is a full sentence

Reception and impact

 * MBN should not be italicised
 * fixed
 * "preserved Super Junior's unique style, it is also meaningful in the way that the song" → "preserves Super Junior's unique style, it is also meaningful due to having"
 * fixed
 * "which included the gesture of using hand sanitizer and contactless polite" → "that includes the gestures of using hand sanitizer and polite" per the source
 * fixed
 * Remove wikilink on greetings
 * link removed
 * Chosun Ilbo → The Chosun Ilbo
 * fixed
 * "its music video as it" → "its music video, as it" but move this part to the same area as the music video because it does not belong in reception section for the song
 * Moved sentence
 * Add parts from The Chosun Ilbo in reception focusing on the song instead, such as the addictive and exciting quotes
 * I have revised the sentence, but this is the first time I've ever encounter the word "deviance" so I am not sure if I wrote it correctly and if it should be linked to Deviance (sociology)
 * Do not link per MOS:LINKSTYLE on quotes, especially when it is not certain. --K. Peake 07:08, 30 May 2022 (UTC)


 * Noted! Lulusword   (talk)  11:22, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * "Kim Soo-kyung of Korea Economic Daily said that Super Junior had released" → "Kim Soo-kyung of the Korea Economic Daily said that Super Junior released"
 * fixed
 * Remove pipe on SuJu since it is obvious the quote refers to the band per this context
 * link removed
 * "Dissecting its lyrics, he said that it is "impressive" as it managed to capture" → "Dissecting the lyrics, he said they are "impressive" due to capturing"
 * fixed
 * "writing for online magazine IZM commented that the single" → "writing for IZM, commented that the song"
 * fixed
 * Remove "of the song" at the end of the last sentence because this is implied
 * removed
 * Pipe DGWHO to Director-General of the World Health Organization
 * link fixed
 * "of World Health Organization (WHO), Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus who" → "of the World Health Organization (WHO) Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus who" with the pipe
 * fixed
 * "against COVID-19 using the song." → "against COVID-19 with the message."
 * fixed
 * "received recognition from" → "received recognition from the"
 * fixed
 * Remove overly obvious wikilink on United Arab Emirates
 * link removed
 * Remove the comma after tourism event
 * removed
 * "starting from October 15, 2021." → "from October 15, 2021 onwards." per this date having passed
 * fixed

Chart performance

 * Retitle to Commercial performance
 * retitled
 * "on Gaon Digital Chart for the week of March 14–20, 2021 following" → "on the Gaon Digital Chart for the week of March 14–20, 2021, following"
 * fixed
 * Remove the fall to position 146 per WP:CHARTTRAJ
 * removed
 * "Meanwhile, it debuted and peaked on number eight in" → "Meanwhile, the song debuted and peaked on number eight on"
 * fixed
 * "at number 23 and 90 on" → "at numbers 23 and 90 in"
 * fixed
 * "It also reached number 27" → "The song also reached number 27"
 * fixed
 * Remove the non-notable BGM and Mobile Ringtone charts to avoid overkill
 * removed
 * "The single entered K-Pop Hot 100 chart published by Billboard and peaked on number 99 on" → "The song entered the Billboard K-pop Hot 100 at number 99 on"
 * fixed
 * "April 3, 2021.[59] It is their seventh placement in" → "April 3, 2021,[59] becoming Super Junior's seventh placement on" and add a citation for the chart history here
 * Removing the part about chart history entirely because for some reason billboard did not have the chart record from before the chart's first discontinuation in 2014 here so unless I cite them one by one, it is unverifiable. I will add it back if I find a reference from the korean site but that's a long shot.
 * That is unlucky, but hopefully you find a ref soon! --K. Peake 07:08, 30 May 2022 (UTC)


 * I've looked into Billboard Korea news section from last year and it only mention the song charting and nothing else about the band's charting history so that's a dead end right there, sorry. Lulusword   (talk)  15:28, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * "the song debuted in" → "the song debuted on"
 * fixed
 * "on number 21 in the chart released for" → "at number 21 on the chart released for the"
 * fixed
 * "marked Super Junior's twenty seventh entry on the chart." → "marked Super Junior's 27th entry on the World Digital Song Sales chart."
 * fixed
 * ""House Party" music video" → "the "House Party" music video" with the wikilink
 * fixed
 * "On The Ground" → "On the Ground" with the wikilink
 * fixed

Promotion and live performance

 * This section can be split into two different ones especially with music video info being moved to promo; start with one titled live performances and follow with a promotion section that includes all other forms of it
 * Split into two sections. I'm not sure if I've done this correctly, as I'm not sure the ASMR performance is supposed to be in which section. Lulusword   (talk)  13:44, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * "first revealed "House Party" on" → "first performed "House Party" on" to be specific
 * fixed
 * "televised on cable channel Mnet on March 16." → "that was televised on cable channel Mnet on March 16, 2021."
 * fixed
 * "joining SM Entertainment until the release of their 10th Korean studio album, The Renaissance." → "joining SM Entertainment until the release of The Renaissance."
 * fixed
 * Merge the first para with the following one per the short size
 * Paragraphs merged
 * Remove the "U" performance per lack of relevancy
 * Removed
 * "in the week following its release." → "shortly following its release."
 * fixed
 * "On March 18, they performed on" → "On March 18, 2021, the band performed the song on"
 * fixed
 * "They performed twice on KBS2's music show," → "Super Junior performed twice on KBS2's music show"
 * fixed
 * "Their first performance on March 19 was" → "On March 19, 2021, the band's first performance was"
 * fixed
 * For the second performance, should the "seasoned stage manners and pleasant directing" be mentioned or is my translator faulty and the source really says something non-notable?
 * Hmm, I think it's kinda trivial but I can add it if you think it should be mentioned. Lulusword   (talk)  13:44, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * "on March 21." → "on March 21, 2021."
 * fixed
 * Remove the performances taped part since that is sourced from an article written before the song was even known about
 * removed
 * "The boy band performed the ASMR version of "House Party" in" → "Super Junior performed the ASMR version of "House Party" for"
 * fixed
 * "aired on March 18." → "aired on March 18, 2021."
 * fixed
 * Remove the I Can See Your Voice appearance due to no mention of the song
 * removed
 * Remove pipe on Donghae
 * removed
 * "Eunhyuk, Shindong and Ryeowook" → "Eunhyuk, Shindong, and Ryeowook"
 * fixed
 * "Hal Myung Soo where the host" → "Hal Myung Soo, where the host" and mention when this appearance was
 * fixed
 * "performing "House Party" and a medley of "U", "Sorry, Sorry" and" → "performing "House Party" after a medley of "U", "Sorry, Sorry", and" plus mention when this performance was
 * fixed
 * "in the variety show" → "on the variety show" and mention that they promoted the song plus when this was
 * fixed, date added
 * Pipe Amazing Saturday to DoReMi Market
 * fixed
 * "footage from the music video filming was" → "shots from the music video filming were"
 * fixed
 * "in their web variety show" → "for their web variety show" and mention when this was
 * fixed
 * "on stage at 2021" → "on stage at", as the year is mentioned later on in this sentence
 * fixed
 * "They also performed the song in" → "The band also performed the song for"
 * fixed
 * "they performed "House Party" on" → "they performed "House Party" for" and add a comma after the name of the online concert
 * fixed
 * "They performed the song in front of live audience" → "Super Junior performed the song in front of a live audience"
 * fixed
 * "on April 2, 2022, more" → "on April 2, more" to avoid overusage of the year
 * fixed

Personnel

 * Retitle to Credits and personnel
 * retitled
 * Studios should come first, also do two sub-headings instead of any sub-sections; Recording and Personnel, respectively
 * rearranged and formatted accordingly
 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel
 * fixed
 * Pipe Siwon to Choi Si-won
 * fixed
 * Pipe Ryeowook to Kim Ryeo-wook
 * fixed
 * Pipe Kyuhyun to Cho Kyu-hyun
 * fixed
 * Pipe background vocals to Backing vocalist
 * fixed
 * Pipe recording to Sound recording and reproduction
 * fixed
 * Pipe digital editing to Digital media
 * fixed
 * Pipe mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * fixed

Charts

 * Good

Release history

 * Good

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed; this article is a decent way off the GA criteria but I will allow a week or so! --K. Peake 09:56, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review, I will look into all the suggestions as soon as I can, although edits might be slow. Lulusword   (talk)  11:22, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Thanks for making progress quickly and I have started to respond above! --K. Peake 07:08, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * I've finished addressing most of your concerns, but there are some parts that I am unsure about, and mentioned them in the comments above. Don't hesitate to remind me if there's anything else that I overlooked. Lulusword   (talk)  15:32, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, I totally understand your reasoning for not implementing certain changes including the lead one! --K. Peake 07:08, 31 May 2022 (UTC)