Talk:Hughes Airwest Flight 706/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Racepacket (talk) 04:19, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * GA review (see here for criteria)

Please fix this disamb. link: Near-miss. External links check out.
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * " Diagnostics revealed" →" Diagnostic tests at Mountain Home revealed"
 * "had died previously.[2]"→"had died prior to the crash.[2]"
 * "the pilot was subsequently unable to eject"→"the pilot was consequently unable to eject"
 * "investigating National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) team"→"National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) investigation team"
 * "A Federal Aviation Administration study in 1968"→"An FAA study in 1968"
 * "require military aircraft to file"→"require military aircraft on cross-country flights to file"
 * "move all related court actions to California."->"move all related court actions to the Central District of California."
 * Why do you use the abbreviations VFR and IFR in the Flight histories section and then stop using them in later sections?
 * I would include the fatality count in the lead paragraphs.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Fn, 4, 8, 22 and 33 are dead.
 * Fn. 9, 11 and 25 need Retrieved date.
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * You say that the Mountain Home AFB could not repair the transponder. What about the degraded radar?
 * Are there any published data on how many flights landed at El Toro and LAX in 1971.
 * You might want to add that El Toro has since been shut down.
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Nice photo and animation. Thank you for donating them.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * I am placing the article on hold. Racepacket (talk) 06:35, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * I am placing the article on hold. Racepacket (talk) 06:35, 24 January 2011 (UTC)

Response(s)
Note- this will be updated piecemeal as I edit between classes. I may do some edits as my alt (User:OldManInACoffeeCan) if at a school terminal. -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Prose updated with suggestions above. The only one not incorporated was the one about military cross-country flights. The sources indicate that it was cross country flights and flights to-and-from military bases that had to file flight plans. Since that pretty much covers all or most military flights in the US, I left it as just "required military flights to file flight plans." But if you think it needs to be changes I'll be sure to expand. -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * You are correct that it applies to most flights in the US.


 * Re the dead links. They're offline sources, I just happened to find copies on Google News Archive. The links have since gone dead, but the newspapers are still valid. Will you accept them in good faith if I remove the dead links? -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  15:24, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * There is no prohibition against printed sources. Reliable sources do not have to be online. However, if a link goes dead and you can't find another, then you must remove the link.
 * Dead links have been removed, citations for offline sources remain. -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  06:25, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Added access dates. Two of them I verified when I added the material in my sandbox, which is why they're backdated. The others I reverified and added today's date. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:07, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Fine.


 * Re: image comment. I can't take credit for the CGI rendition of the aircraft or the animation. They were the work of User:Anynobody, but I will pass on your comments along with my own. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:09, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Re section 4 questions and points:
 * Mountain Home AFB could not fix the radar either. I updated the sentence and reverified the source.
 * I may be able to find LAX stats in a newspaper, but I wouldn't hold my breath. I do have a source that states that Los Angeles was the single busiest and most dangerous (in terms of near-misses) air spaces at that time, but I personally don't think it passes WP:RS. It's an editorial from a daily newspaper. I will see what I can do to find the LAX stats.
 * I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find El Toro stats, on the other hand, since it was a military base, so there would be a whole lot of top secret stuff going on, especially since this was during the Vietnam War.
 * I have updated the article to mention that El Toro has since closed, and added a source. --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:18, 24 January 2011 (UTC)


 * I fixed the disambig of near-miss to lead to Near miss (safety) --OldManInACoffeeCan (Mukkakukaku's alt for public terminals) 17:18, 24 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Per MOS:CONSECUTIVE, drop the double period "6:06 p.m.."
 * Fixed. -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  06:26, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Do we have sources to support adding a sentence to the chronology that the military pilot did not inform civilian flight control of his changes from the flight plan?
 * Since he was flying VFR, the military pilot did not file a flight plan. Civilian flight control was never aware he was there, until the collision, that is. -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  06:26, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Most DC-9 references have hyphens, but the last two in the Investigation section are missing hyphens.
 * Last F-4 in the Investigation section is also missing the hyphen. The one in the Aftermath section is missing the hyphen as well.
 * Hyphens have been fixed. -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  06:51, 25 January 2011 (UTC)

Good work. Congratulations. I made one more change from jetliner → airliner for consistency. You might also want to standardize on either F-4 or F-4B in the text of the article. Thanks, Racepacket (talk) 23:12, 25 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Thanks a lot! -- Mûĸĸâĸûĸâĸû  (blah?)  03:23, 26 January 2011 (UTC)