Talk:Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: SL93 (talk · contribs) 05:18, 15 January 2021 (UTC)

The lead

 * "Hum Aapke Dil Mein Rehte Hain (English: I Live in Your Heart) is a 1999 Indian Hindi-language romantic drama film directed by Satish Kaushik and produced by D. Ramanaidu for his banner Suresh Productions."
 * I suggest changing "banner" to company or something similar. It isn't often that the word banner is used in this way.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "It starred" and "playing supporting roles".
 * Starred should be changed to stars. Playing would better as "in supporting roles".
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The film telling the story"
 * This should be "The film tells the story".
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "served as a remake"
 * Should be "serves as a remake". Better yet, it could "is a remake".
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and lyrics are penned by"
 * "and the lyrics were written by"
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "garnered well-response from audience"
 * This sentence should be removed entirely per my next point below or it should be made clear that it's not from critics.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The film received mixed-to-positive reviews"
 * Are these reviews from critics?
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "with mostly critical praise was directed"
 * The word "was" is not needed.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)

Plot section

 * "The pampered Vijay has completed his education and now indulges in life's temptations to the extreme."
 * How does he indulge in life's temptations to the extreme?
 * Removed --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 06:45, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Megha is Vishwanath's personal assistant in his office. She is a hardworking girl struggling to support her family."
 * Instead of two sentences, this can be combined into one sentence due to both of them focusing on the same character.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:48, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Vishwanath asks Megha to quit her job and marry his son, but she refuses when she hears Vijay's strange condition."
 * Why would she ask Megha to do that? What is the strange condition?
 * Changed --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 06:45, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Vijay wants the marriage to be on a contract basis for a year and, if he does not fall in love with his wife in that duration, the marriage will be annulled."
 * Why does Vijay want that?
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 06:45, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "However, Megha's family is in dire financial straits and, so, she has to reconsider this offer."
 * How will the marriage give wealth to Megha's family?
 * I think the sentence is clear now --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:07, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "In return for marrying Vijay, she asks for financial support for her family, which Vishwanath readily provides."
 * Why did Vishwanath readily provide financial support?
 * I think the sentence is clear now --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:07, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "when he meets with an accident"
 * This part sounds unusually phrased. What is the accident?
 * Changed, a car accident --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 07:59, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "At the end of the year, however, Vijay decides to annul the marriage, as had been agreed upon."
 * Why did Vijay decide to do that? It seemed like a happy marriage from the sentence before it.
 * I think it's better now --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:15, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "After the separation, Vijay seems to be enjoying himself; but slowly and eventually, he starts to feel a longing for the presence of his devoted wife."
 * Why does he feel that longing?
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:16, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Complications arise when Megha finds out that she is pregnant with Vijay's child."
 * What complications?
 * It's already cleared... --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "People in her neighbourhood start to question her stay at her mother's house and the identity of the child's father."
 * Why are they questioning those things?
 * That's a normal thing when a woman suddenly get pregnant, while she's not with her husband or doesn't have a husband. As we know that India has many norms. In my country, it also happened --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:27, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "In order to support herself, Megha gets a job in a new company"
 * "starts a job"
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:49, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Vijay continues to pursue her and leaves no stone unturned to show her that he cares for her."
 * What does he do to show her that?
 * Concise --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:40, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Vishwanath and Vijay attend the ceremony as well and give her presents"
 * It should be clarified as to who is receiving the presents.


 * "An argument follows; Vijay and his father walk out, followed by all the guests."
 * What is the argument about?
 * Removed, as this part is unimportant. --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:42, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Near the completion of her pregnancy, Megha learns that troublemakers Khairati Lal and Yeshwant Kumar, who had once attempted to kill Vijay, have escaped from prison."
 * This plot point seems to have came from out of nowhere.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 08:43, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "On the way, she learns that the whole thing was a set-up by Vijay's friends to lure her back to her husband."
 * Why did her friends want to lure her back to her husband?


 * "As soon as she meets him, she accuses him of this shameless act."
 * What shameless act?


 * "Vijay then staggers towards her, with his stomach pierced by a piece of glass and blood pouring from the wound. It turns out that Khairati and Yeshwant have attacked him in reality."
 * I'm confused. There is no transition anywhere from the last plot point to the stabbing happening. Why add "in reality"? I didn't think that the film was based in a virtual world or something.

I'll rewatch the film, so i can match the plot section; i watched it a few months ago, i'm so sorry... --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:35, 15 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I think the plot section is clear now, you can review it now :) --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 13:43, 15 January 2021 (UTC)

Production section

 * "was remade from"
 * "is a remake of"
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:36, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and marking"
 * "and it marks"
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:36, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "comeback to"
 * "return to" sounds better
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:36, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Meanwhile, Kajol who almost twenty years younger than him was cast as the film's protagonist"
 * I don't see how it is relevant how much younger she is.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:36, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "was done"
 * This part doesn't sound encyclopedic. A different word other than done should be used.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:36, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Some songs were shot"
 * I think you mean "Some songs were recorded"
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:36, 15 January 2021 (UTC)

Release section

 * Produced under the Suresh Productions banner"
 * It seems like the word banner can be removed. Maybe change it to "Produced by Suresh Productions"
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:37, 15 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "According to review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, it was available for streaming on Prime Video since May 2019."
 * This would be better as "It was available for streaming on Prime Video since May 2019" due to it not being a controversial statement.
 * Done --Nicholas Michael Halim (talk) 05:37, 15 January 2021 (UTC)