Talk:Hurricane Boris (2008)

Todo

 * Please rewrite the Meteorological history, and for a 10 day storm it should be 2-3 paragraphs.
 * The article also needs a lead.
 * The external links should be in an external links section.  Plasticup  T / C  15:12, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Against recommendations
I'm not sure if you ever read what people are saying, but can you please TRY to understand that when we give a recommendations it's best you follow them. We said not to make this article, yet you did. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:24, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * He didn't really "make" this article. It is expanded from the season page by two sentences. I am redirecting this back to 2008_Pacific_hurricane_season.  Plasticup  T / C  15:42, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Ok, I'll start working on this around October 20th, roughly, maybe before maybe after. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 15:52, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

I will fix it up a little on Saturday. Leave Message orYellow Evan home 13:06, 9 October 2008 (UTC)

Todo2
Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:35, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Expand lead
 * Delink all dates
 * Correctly cite references, i.e. the TCR should be only seen once in the reference section but with letters denoting that it's used more than once
 * Didn't notice the best track was used twice, the second one has to be cited using ref name also.
 * Expand Meteorological History
 * Rename Impact section "Preparations, impact, and naming"
 * Give sources to the information in the PIN section
 * Use the HURDAT trackfiles to reference the previous uses.
 * Overall Copyedit needed
 * All that's needed now is for the lead and MH to be expanded. Once that is done, followed by a copyedit, the article should be of B-class criteria and a GAN is not out of the question. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 01:59, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * true and if it passesit would become my 7 th GA (see my user page) and I will expand the lead soon. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home ,Sandbox Happy Veterans day 02:02, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * It would also be your first GA done almost entirely by yourself. Keep up the good work YE! Cyclonebiskit (talk) 02:03, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Norman is a GA. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home ,Sandbox Happy Veterans day 03:45, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Most of the work in that article was from Hurricanehink. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 03:57, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Lead

 * 1) Lead is too short.
 * ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) "Hurricane Boris was the second tropical storm and the first hurricane of the 2008 Pacific hurricane season." - This is usually not a good lead sentence.
 * ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) "The Category 1 hurricane originated form a tropical wave that left Africa in mid June." <-- mid-June
 * ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) Entering the Eastern Pacific basin on June 22 and became a tropical cyclone five days later. <-- Sentence Fragment.
 * ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) It followed an typical early summer path remaining far away Mexico and Hawaii <--Clarification needed.
 * Its from the TCR. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox
 * Change it or better still remove it Jason Rees (talk) 18:28, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

JR, Why? Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox
 * Because its boring trival and not needed as well as plagerised.Jason Rees (talk) 19:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

MH

 * 1) Boris originated from a tropical wave that left Africa on June 14. <-- better description?
 * No. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) The wave moved across the Atlantic in a week showing little signs for development <-- ok, there has to be way more than that :| - Be more descriptive here.
 * There is not any more. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) You need more than just two sentences: Did anything happen in the time it was crossing the Atlantic, did it show any signs that may have dissipated?
 * Mitch, please look at the TCR. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) Five days later, thunderstorm activity appeared and thus the National Hurricane Center classified the system as a tropical cyclone. <-- Very undescriptive.
 * Again, look at the TCR. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) Upon becoming a tropical cyclone, the brand new Tropical Depression Two-E was over warm water, though only slight intensification was possible since forecast models predicted little change in intensity and then weakening. <-- let's see: dump the italics, reword it so you don't have to use the name at all, too much information here?
 * ✅ and the name is important to the reader. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) However, the cloud tops of the tropical depression became better organized around the center. <-- How did this occur, what are cloud tops, and what happened because of this?
 * MZ it is in clouds, it is in the next sentence and it says so in the lead and ✅


 * 1) Satellite estimates were of tropical storm force winds. <-- Very undescriptive, also what is the need for this sentence? It should be rewritten and merged with the next sentence.


 * 1) Based on this, the depression was upgraded to Tropical Storm Boris <-- You forgot a period, remove the italics, what is "this" (be descriptive), can you reword it?


 * 1) Initially, Boris was under low to moderate wind shear which allowed for only slight strengthening. It was then anticipated that an upper level low in the Gulf of Mexico would weaken the system. <-- What the hell happened to the shear, because you go right to the upper level low.


 * 1) However, the National Hurricane Center forecasted Boris to become a moderate tropical storm. <-- Define moderate, this sentence seems unnecessary.

Not fast enough for rapid and ✅
 * 1) Boris intensified rather quickly and attained winds of 45 mph (75 km/h) at 2100 UTC time or 2 PM PST as the tropical storm became more organized. <-- Boris went under rapid intensification. 2100 UTC (2 PM PST).
 * 1) Boris intensified slightly over the next six hours, despite little change in organization.<-- First sentence that actually sounds right, maybe a slight rewording for clarification.


 * 1) During the overnight hours, Boris became disorganized, as the center was somewhat separated from the deep convection and some thought that Boris had already peaked. <-- Somewhat (please use better word), who is some? Peaked at what?


 * 1) However, in the final report it was noted Boris briefly intensified to winds of 60 mph (95 km/h), which makes the models wrong. <--What normal reader will know what the final report is?, noted should be replaced with recorded, the end of the sentence should be: "defied the predictions from the tropical cyclone models".

✅ The GDFL was right, I say in the sentence that it is a forecast model. ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox
 * 1) Increased wind shear postponed strengthening and it was forecasted to weaken slightly during the next 24 to 36 hours. <-- Reword and it should be good.
 * 1) However, the GDFL model forcasted Boris to become a hurricane. <-- Overuse of forecasted. Also, who will know what a GDFL model is?
 * 1) Boris changed little in organization during the afternoon hours of June 28. This trend continued through the overnight hours. <-- Merge sentences and reword.
 * ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox


 * 1) That morning Boris continued to get disorganized and intensification was no longer forcasted by the National Hurricane Center.<-- Comma needed and we need some clarification. What caused the disorganization?
 * ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox

Not sure and ✅. Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox ✅ Leave Message ,Yellow Evan home, Sandbox
 * 1) Even though Boris was still getting torn apart by wind shear, it became better organized later that day. Around this time, some Global Computer Models predicted Boris to move eastbound and get absorbed by Tropical Storm Douglas. <-- Although (in replace of Even though), how strong was the shear?, what caused the change, define the models, and when was this to occur?
 * 1) It was also predicted to degenerate to a low in 84 hours. <-- Reword completely.
 * 1) By the afternoon hours it seemed to be that Boris was beginning to weaken, however this did not occur. <--- Afternoon hours of when?
 * 2) Instead, Boris took advantage of the favorable conditions and it was suddenly a strong tropical storm in only three hours as an eye formed. <-- Where did those favorable conditions, remove suddenly, and why did it rapidly intensify?
 * 3) At that time, Boris had winds of 70 mph (110 km/h). <-- Merge into previous sentence.
 * 4) Boris remained well organized throughout the night and into the early morning hours of the 30th. <-- Rewrite.
 * 5) Despite weakening slightly later that morning, the GDFL model forecasted Boris to reintensify before weakening. <-- Changes needed.
 * 6) Boris's strength remained the same throughout the afternoon hours. <-- Do we seriously need every advisory?
 * 7) However, Boris developed an eye that night and was forcasted to become a weak hurricane. <-- Unnecessary for the second 1/2.
 * 8) This forecast held true and early on July 1, Boris became a hurricane. <-- Please describe better.
 * 9) In re-analysis, data showed Boris became a hurricane six hours earlier. <-- merge and re-describe.
 * 10) Upon becoming a hurricane, its was noted that its eye became better defined. It also became possible that Boris could become an Annular hurricane, however this did not occur. It was also noted that Boris had been defying predictions. <-- All 3 sentences need rewriting. Please merge them too.
 * 11) Boris was expected to weaken to a strong tropical storm soon, then weaken further in 24 hours. <-- Enough of the forecasting, a normal reader would be bored to death.
 * 12) However, Boris slowed down its orgainzation during the afternoon, even though Boris still was a hurricane.<-- Reword, we don't need all this info. (Also notice the typo)
 * 13) Later that afternoon, Boris was downgraded to a tropical storm after its eye collapsed. <-- Describe more please.
 * 14) However, this was brief and Boris quickly intensified back into a hurricane. <-- Merge into last sentence and rewrite.
 * 15) Initially, Boris remained a tropical storm, however, and Boris was not upgraded to a hurricane until early on July 2. <-- Do we need to know this? The July 2nd part should be moved to the previous paragraph.
 * 16) At this time Boris attained peak winds of 80 mph (130 km/h) and a pressure of 985 millibars. The initial peak was slightly weaker, however. <-- Enough of the damn peaks and statistics from this point.
 * 17) That morning, Boris was forcasted to possibly become a Category 2 hurricane in the next 24 hours before weakening, while other forecasted dissipation in 24 hours. <-- You've spelled forecasted two different ways, no more predictions please, and we don't need to know all details.
 * 18) At that time, Boris was 1943 kilometers or 1210 miles away from land. At this time, Boris was forecasted to weaken very shorty as it moved over colder waters. <-- FORECASTS AGAIN??? Convert template please, and use the template well.
 * 19) Boris was forecasted to dissipate in two to three days. <-- What do you think I need?
 * 20) That afternoon, Boris began to weaken. In the evening it was no longer a hurricane <-- Merge and reword. Also please explain more.
 * 21) By the morning hours of June 3, Boris was only a moderate tropical storm. <-- Unnecessary sentence.
 * 22) Boris continued to weaken and was downgraded to tropical depression status that day. <-- Later that day
 * 23) Boris dissipated the next day as it had lost convection for 18 hours. <--Rewrite completely.
 * 24) The remnant low dissipated July 6 while crossing into the Central Pacific. <-- mention the basin, mention the ocean.

Impact

 * 1) Since Boris remained out over open waters for the duration of its existence, there were no reports of impact on any land masses.<--Source?
 * 2) The storm was never forecast to impact land, thus no tropical storm watches or warnings were issued.<--Source?
 * 3) There were also no ship reports of sustained tropical storm-force winds.<--Source?
 * 4) More information is needed - this is too short.
 * 5) I should clarify, you should try to describe better too.

References & Citations

 * 1) 81% of your references are horribly citated. In real school, that is bad.
 * 2) Reference 12 - You spelled Dr. Avila's name wrong.
 * 3) Do not use other names for advisories. (References 14, 17, 22, 26, 28, 30 and 32).
 * 4) Don't rely a lot on the TCR

Categories

 * 1) May I point out that there are NO categories in there at all???

My thoughts
This article needs a complete rewrite. In the entire MH, I liked 1 sentence. This is start at best, not even a C. I suggest you do more research and work harder. This is months of work from Good article nominees right now.Mitch/HC32 17:03, 26 June 2009 (UTC)