Talk:Hurricane Carmen/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Xtzou ( Talk ) 17:33, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

In general, this is a very nice article. I have just a few comments:


 * "the feature ignited a tropical wave in the Intertropical Convergence Zone." - what is "the feature"


 * "eye feature" - this seems like artificial wording - is is common in meteorology?
 * Yeah it is - it basically refers to a cyclone eye that isnt an eye.Jason Rees (talk) 18:01, 7 May 2010 (UTC)


 * eye (cyclone) is piped twice within a couple sentences of each other, once to "eye feature" and once to "eyewall". Isn't this unnecessarily confusing to the reader?


 * "the more northern of which became consolidated and organized. Moving westward, the system organized into a tropical depression" - repeat "organized"


 * "Heavy fell on Hispaniola as the storm progressed westward" - rain? Except you repeat it in the next sentence: "High winds and heavy rainfall were reported there and in Cuba" - needs addressing


 * "The city of Chetumal was described as a disaster" - a disaster area?


 * "Since Carmen had moved ashore over marshland, it caused "far less" damage than initially feared" - don't see the point of using quotes for "far less"


 * ref 2 http://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd/hurdat/easyread-2008.html is a dead link - It has 10 refs so it needs replacing.
 * Sorted - JC can you do a check of other articles using that link please. :)Jason Rees (talk) 18:01, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

I will put this article on hold while you address these issues.

Regards, Xtzou ( Talk ) 17:33, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Done with everything, I believe. I've also undone one of your edits, specifically the one changing "initially" to "in the beginning". I feel the original wording was less clunky. Thanks for the review! – Juliancolton  &#124; Talk 18:07, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

Further comments That was quick. Looks good, except for one more thing"
 * " Initially threatening the major city of New Orleans, it veered westward and made landfall again over marshland, eventually dissipating over Texas on September 10. Damage was lighter than initially feared" - repeat of "initially".

Xtzou ( Talk )
 * Got it, thanks! – Juliancolton  &#124; Talk 19:51, 7 May 2010 (UTC)

 GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Well done! Congratulations, Xtzou ( Talk ) 20:04, 7 May 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality: Well written and concise
 * B. MoS compliance: Complies with the basic MoS
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. References to sources: Sources are reliable
 * B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: Well referenced
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!
 * B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!
 * Pass or Fail: Pass!