Talk:Hurricane Caroline/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: TheAustinMan (talk · contribs) 00:37, 20 January 2013 (UTC)

Hello, Buggie111! I will be reviewing Hurricane Caroline's GAN.

Lead

 * Perhaps there is something more interesting than 'one of two tropical cyclones to affect northern Mexico' to start of the lead?
 * You use three instances of the word 'depression' in three consecutive sentences. I suggest using other synonyms, like system, or disturbance.
 * Instead of saying 'coming ashore' you could just say landfall.
 * Per WP:WPTC/S it is highly recommended that you include impacts associated with the hurricane. As for now it only contains meteorological history information that will be of slight appeal to the casual reader.

Meteorological history

 * "By noon on August 24, satellite imagery showed..." you should link satellite imagery to satellite imagery, instead of just cutting off the imagery part.
 * Link barometric pressure.
 * "The disturbance then became Tropical Depression Five as it neared northeastern Cuba and southeastern Bahamas. The depression crossed Cuba where it momentarily weakened back to a tropical wave. The storm then regained tropical depression status on August 27 as it continued westward into the Gulf of Mexico.[1]" Same problem here as you had in the lead. You should alternate depression. I suggest the second use of depression should be system.
 * "...was only 400 miles east-southeast..." Needs metric conversion.
 * "Caroline forward speed..." 'Caroline' needs an 's.
 * You link Brownsville, Texas twice in this section, please remove one hyperlink.

Preparations and impact

 * "...though its effects, if any are unknown." You need a comma after any.
 * "The National Hurricane Center issued..." No need to link NHC on its second usage.
 * What's an 'Emergency commutation'?
 * "Emergency commutations and relief and clean up organizations were notified of the upcoming threat." You can avoid using two 'ands' by changing the 'and' before relief to a comma, and then add a comma after relief as well.
 * Texas is linked twice, you should at least remove one, and change the remaining one to South Texas.
 * "Due to Caroline’s compact wind field, the winds only reached 48 mph (78 km/h) winds in Brownsville, Texas." Three 'wind(s)' in one sentence. I suggest re-wording to "Due to Caroline’s compact wind field, sustained winds only reached 48 mph (78 km/h) in Brownsville, Texas."
 * Brownsville, Texas is once again linked here. Remember, things should be linked only once in an article, outside of the lead.
 * "as 11.93 in (302 mm) Port Isabel." Missing an 'in' between mm) and Port.

Other

 * A total of seven references on the article are dead links. This will have to be fixed in order to pass this GAN.

That's all I have for now.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 00:37, 20 January 2013 (UTC)


 * Thanks! I'll get to work. Buggie111 (talk) 18:32, 20 January 2013 (UTC)
 * A week-period has passed since Hurricane Caroline has been reviewed. Though most of the aforementioned issues have been fixed, more than half of the references citing facts on the article are dead links, which also means the information they cite is unverifiable with those sources. Unfortunately, this warrants that the GAN for Hurricane Caroline has failed. Once you do fix the sources, however, and feel the article is ready for GA, I encourage you to renominate the article.  TheAustinMan (Talk·Works) 00:37, 28 January 2013 (UTC)