Talk:Hurricane Estelle (1986)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Hurricanehink 16:09, 29 September 2011 (UTC)

All in all I'm not impressed, given how short it is. I'll leave it on hold since everything should be easy to address. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 16:09, 29 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "Midday on July 16, a tropical depression formed far from land, and within it quickly strengthened into a tropical storm" - two things wrong. First, "far from land" could imply the land of Oz, a black hole, the Bermuda Triangle, the edge of the universe, etc. Try and clarify. Also, "within it quickly strengthened" doesn't make sense...
 * Fixed both. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "On July 18, Estelle intensified into a hurricane, and located in a favorable environment, Estelle" - redundancy?
 * Switched the second "Estelle" to "the hurricane". YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * Twice in the lede you mention it being the first major of the season
 * Fixed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * No, the article still says it was the first MH twice in the lede. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * An IP added it back in. I removed it again. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  20:57, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * "The system dissipated on July 26." - could you combine that small sentence with another one?
 * Yea. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center (EPHC) upgraded a tropical disturbance into a tropical depression while located 630 km (390 mi) west of Clipperton Island" - two problems. First, I don't think anyone has heard of Clipperton Island, so some context would be grand. Second, the wording implies that the warning center was located 630 km west of the island. Also, why do you use km first? The rest of the article uses imperial than metric.
 * Fixed all three. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * Almost. The Pacific Ocean is a large body of water. Is the island near Antarctica? --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * "Moving towards the west beneath an high pressure area" - there's no context there. Did the high pressure steer it, or did it allow the depression to intensify?
 * The EPHC did not say. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Well, if you don't know, then why is it there? A high pressure are could imply a ridge, which would imply it influenced the movement. It could also imply an anticyclone, which, when located aloft, allows intensification. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Actually, the EPHC's wording suggests it was steered by the high.YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * Did it actually, per the meteorological definition, rapidly intensify? I see no evidence of any pressure readings, and that's how rapid deepening is measured.
 * The EPHC said so. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * But you link to rapid deepening, and that has a strict meteorological definition. Given that there is no pressure readings mentioned in the article, how are you sure it did indeed undergo rapid deepening? --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * A reliable source said so and I removed the wikilink. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  20:57, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * "to appear via weather satellite imagery" - I don't think you mean "via" in the sense of "by the agency or instrumentality of". I think you mean "on"
 * Switched. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "on 000 UTC July 18" - do you mean 0000, or is there a number missing?
 * I meant 0000. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "As it's motion accelerate, Estelle continued to intensify; peaking in intensity at 135 mph (215 km/h)." - three problems. First (as I've told you before), it's means "it is". That clause therefore reads "As it is motion accelerate...", which makes no sense. Secondly, why is accelerate in the present tense? Third, when you use a semicolon, the clause should be able to stand on its own, but the "peaking" bit can't.
 * I think I fixed all three. I removed the "cont. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * "A possible re-curve towards the island never materialized, and the cyclone continued its path towards the Hawaiian Islands." - that is contradictory
 * Reworded (and combined with the next sentence). YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * When did Estelle pass south of Hawaii?
 * The CPHC did not say. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * The CPHC isn't the be-all-end-all source here. You can use the map and find out when the storm passed south of the islands :P --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * ✅. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  20:57, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * "on July 23, and on the 25th" - you should use the same date format (or, change "25th" to something else)
 * Good call. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "On July 22, the National Weather Service issued a hurricane watch (which means hurricane conditions are possible within 24-36 hours) and high-surf advisory for the Island of Hawaii as the storm was anticipated to produce life-threatening waves throughout the island chain." - that's rather long. Also, you switch tenses in the sentence, going from past (issued) to present (are possible) back to past (was anticipated). Please fix.
 * I removed the explanation and replaced it with the link. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * "Gales wearings" - huh?
 * That's a typo :P. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * How vital is that quote? It seems kinda extraneous. Whenever anyone ignores evac orders, they're doing it at their own risk.
 * I removed it. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * What do you mean by "divisions"?
 * Switched to "places". YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Link for "Vacation Land"?
 * It does not have one :(. Want me to create one? YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Well, some context would be nice there. It's just, it's an unusual place name. It'd be great if you said what the place was, such as an amusement park, a restaurant, a spa, a landfall, etc. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * "On July 22, a wind gust of 55 mph (89 km/h) near Kalapana Sand Beach." - that isn't a complete sentence.
 * Fixed. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * "The only deaths reported were two drowning on Oahu" - that isn't grammatically correct, either. "drowning" is a gerund, not a noun.
 * Re-worded
 * No, it's still the same. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)
 * Any rainfall totals?
 * Yes. YE  Pacific   Hurricane
 * Thanks for the review. YE  Pacific   Hurricane  00:19, 30 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Alright, it's better now. Just a few more things and I'll be happy to pass. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 18:24, 1 October 2011 (UTC)