Talk:Hurricane Gil (1983)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 03:25, 27 May 2013 (UTC)

Hello YE, I will be review this article.
 * "Hurricane Gil was the first of several storms to affect Hawaii during the 1983 Pacific hurricane season." - "Storms" impact Hawaii very often. Thus, it would be much better to say "tropical cyclones" in this case.
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Hurricane Gil originated from a tropical depression that first formed near Clipperton Island in late July." - Three things here. First, you should probably just say "Gil" instead of "Hurricane Gil" because it has the same wording as the beginning of the previous sentence. Second, the word "first" is not necessary because saying that may simply that it formed a "second" time. Third, don't say "late July", insert the actual date, which was July 23.
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "However, Gil began to re-intensity on August 1; it became a tropical storm for the second time that day." - Wait, so Gil was a tropical storm twice in one day? Also, "began to re-intensity" is bad grammar. You could probably live without the semicolon, too. For example, "However, Gil began to re-intensify on August 1, becoming a tropical storm again later that day.
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "The remnants of the storm were moved into the West Pacific late on August 6 and were last noted the next morning while passing south of Midway Island." - Isn't the remnants of a tropical cyclone not mentioned in the lede (with only a few exceptions, such as Hurricane Sandy)?
 * Eh, it's important here since it crossed into another basin and came close to affected land. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Due to fears of a repeat of Hurricane Iwa, officials issued many" - You don't necessarily have to do this but you should probably mentioned the year that Iwa occurred, since the year would further emphasize the importance of preparations for this storm.
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "On Ohau, a power outage was reported, affecting 2,400 customers." - Wait, there was only 1 power outage, but 2,400 people were affected? Re-word it to, "On Ohau, numerous power outages were reported, which affected 2,400 customers." By the way, "Oahu" is misspelled and leads to a disambiguation page.
 * No, it was just one power outage. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "three crewman were slightly injured." - "crewman" ---> "crewmen"
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "The seventh tropical cyclone of the season originated from a tropical depression that developed during the afternoon hours of July 23 about 200 mi (320 km) north of Clipperton Island." - Is it unknown what type system spawned the tropical depression (i.e. area of disturbed weather, low pressure area, tropical wave, etc.)?
 * It is unknown. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center (EPHC) upgraded the storm into Tropical Storm Gil at 0000 UTC on July 24." - "upgraded the storm into Tropical Storm Gil" is bad grammar, because "into" implies that the it moved inside something or somewhere (it's not like Gil moved into the Central Pacific basin). You may also want to find a substitute for the first occurrence of the word "storm", such as "system", "depression", etc. My suggestion here would be: "the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center (EPHC) upgraded the depression to Tropical Storm Gil at 0000 UTC on July 24."
 * Used. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Early on July 27, the storm attained its peak intensity of 90 miles per hour (140 km/h)." - Abbreviate miles per hour to mph. Also, the infobox says that 90 mph is 150 km/h, not 140 km/h; one or the other is correct, but not both.
 * Found a loophole. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * That doesn't work either. They both need to be the same number.--12george1 (talk) 03:50, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * They are. YE Pacific  Hurricane 04:03, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "the low moved west-northwest over a pool of slightly warmer waters west of 140th meridian west;" - You might wanna replace "pool" with "region" or something similar, because it could have been someone's swimming pool in Honululu. :P
 * Nah, I like that wording actually. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "well-defined atmospheric circulation circulation, Gil was still a tropical depression" - Double double word word :P
 * Shoot. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Not fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:50, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Should be good to go now. YE Pacific  Hurricane 04:03, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Due to fears of a repeat of Hurricane Iwa, advisories and warnings for the main Hawaiian Islands were issued by meteorologists and officials," - Was there specific agency/agencies that issues these advisories and warnings, or could it have been like the meteorologists on my local news channel?
 * Civil defense authorities. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Dozens of tourists were stung via jellyfish along two beaches in Ohau. In all, 50 people were injured, none serious." - How is this relevant? Did the rough seas make the jellyfish more active and sting people? By the way, you misspelled "Oahu".
 * Idk, but LN did mention the storm caused the surge of jellyfish. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Then mention it in the article or otherwise this could seem like just a coincidence.--12george1 (talk) 03:50, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Added. YE Pacific  Hurricane 04:03, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Locally gusty winds were recorded on Ohau" - Misspelled "Oahu" again
 * Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Rough surf pounded the the northeastern facing beaches of that island, as well as the northeastern side of Ohau." - "Oahu" is misspelled, again
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Not done--12george1 (talk) 03:50, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 04:03, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "A sea level pressure of 1,011 mb (29.9 inHg) was also recorded." - Are the pressure observations really necessary. I mean it's not like atmospheric pressure causes damage, unlike winds, rainfall, and storm surge.
 * It gives a description of what kind of effects were reported on a place. After all, we measure intensity in WPTC by pressure. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Well, in the MHs we do, but what good is mentioning barometric pressures in the impact?--12george1 (talk) 03:50, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * It's not included in the MH and these were reported on land. YE Pacific  Hurricane 04:03, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Later in the hurricane season, the state was affected by Tropical Storm Narda and threatened by Hurricane Raymond." - Relevancy?
 * I think it's worth noting. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * "Meanwhile, a peak pressure of 1,014 mb (29.9 inHg) was reported." - Again, why is the atmospheric pressure needed here?
 * See above. YE Pacific  Hurricane 03:40, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * This is it for now, but I may have more later.--12george1 (talk) 03:25, 27 May 2013 (UTC)
 * Never mind, that should be it for now. After this and a few edits myself, I will now list this article as a GA. Regards, --12george1 (talk) 02:21, 29 May 2013 (UTC)