Talk:Hurricane Marco (1996)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Keilana (talk · contribs) 04:10, 1 May 2012 (UTC)

Hi George! I'm really impressed with what you've done here. As per our recent discussion, I've posted all of my comments here, including those relating to copyedits. As always, these are just suggestions. Keilana | Parlez ici 04:10, 1 May 2012 (UTC)

Lead

 * Remove the comma after "November 16".
 * "Weakened it back" is awkwardly phrased.
 * Change "would later become nearly stationary" to "later became nearly stationary".
 * Remove the comma after "fluctuating in intensity".
 * Add "destroyed" after "50,000 acres of banana and fruit plantations".
 * Added the word "flooded" instead--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Change "affects" to "effects".
 * Specify what kind of "damage is unknown" in Cuba, if possible.
 * Add "the" before "Dominican Republic"
 * Everything here is complete--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)

Meteorological history

 * Change "in that vicinity" to "in the area" or "the vicinity" or something else.
 * When you say "the entire system drifted northward for a couple days", how many days was it exactly?
 * The Preliminary Report isn't anymore specific than that--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Saying both "encountering a more favorable environment" and "environmental conditions" sounds redundant - change one of them.
 * Remove "to the upgrade" in "Simultaneous to the upgrade" and change "Simultaneous" to "Simultaneously".
 * Do we (or anyone) know why Marco weakened to a depression on November 23?
 * Change "to the northwest" to "northwestward" for parallelism.
 * Instead of saying "Re-organization occurred and the cyclone re-intensified", why not say "The cyclone re-organized and thus re-intensified", if that's meteorologically accurate.
 * Change "before weakening occurred again" to "before it weakened again".
 * Add "then" to "Marco interacted with a cold front".
 * Are there more than 2 sources for the information in this section? I know it's an older storm, so that may not be available.
 * Yes there are, but it is mostly inaccessible. The only reason I was able to get that second reference is because it was available through the Wayback Machine. Other than that, everything else in this section was fixed.--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)

Preparations

 * Remove "Other than hurricane/tropical storm watches and warnings" and add "also" before "posted on November 20" to streamline a bit.
 * Remove "There were also preparations in Cuba and Haiti."
 * Both were fixed--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)

Impact

 * Remove "it" in "it caused heavy rainfall throughout Central America".
 * Add "the" before "Domnican Republic"
 * Change "outgoing flood" to "ongoing flood"
 * Remove the comma after "in damage to roads".
 * Change "affects" to "effects".
 * Change "As a result of heavy rains, thousands fled their homes" to "Heavy rains caused thousands to flee their homes"
 * Remove "if any" and the surrounding commas.
 * Remove the comma after "4,000 homes were destroyed"
 * Change "damage to that infrastructure totaled to approximately" to "damage to [the - optional] infrastructure totaled approximately"
 * Are you asking me to insert something like "damage to the highway infrastructure"--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Yeah. Keilana | Parlez ici 16:15, 5 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Change "houses with all but roofs submerged in water" to "houses submerged to their roofs" ("submerged" implies water already"
 * Remove "than bananas" and change "include:" to "were"
 * Could you change "sorgo" to "sorghum"? I think it's the more accepted name.
 * Do you have data on how many were left homeless in Honduras?
 * No--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Remove "of Honduras" after "nine fatalities in the country"
 * How many houses washed away in Nicaragua?
 * All we know is that "numerous houses washed away" and nothing more specific--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * "flooding waters" should be "floods".
 * Remove "in that country" after "reported two fatalities".
 * "One death was reported" is weakly worded.
 * Which towns flooded in Costa Rica?
 * What is there is all that happened in Costa Rica--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * What was the damage to banana plantations in Costa Rica?
 * See previous comment--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Add a comma after "Palm Beach counties".
 * Remove "in each of the three counties".
 * Change "was" to "were" in "was lost in that region"
 * Change "Other than rough seas and beach erosion, impact was, if any, minimal" to "Other impact was minimal."
 * The sentence "Marco was known for being a hurricane to enter the Caribbean and not make landfall, a rare occurrence." needs a rewrite.
 * I feel like the sentence "Also, hurricane hunter flights recorded volatile center structure with severe turbulence, extreme rainfall and hail during a flight into the storm." should be in Meteorological history. Also, "Hurricane Hunters" should be capitalized and there should be a comma after "extreme rainfall".
 * I have a few comments I left, otherwise, the rest is complete--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)

Aftermath
That's all I have for you. I'll keep an eye on this page! Keilana | Parlez ici 04:10, 1 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Add "the" before "Netherlands".
 * Remove "the nations of".
 * Change "totaled to slightly more than" to "totaled slightly more than".
 * Change "Other than cash, Japan donated...[a bunch of stuff]" to "Japan donated [a bunch of stuff] in lieu of money."
 * Remove the comma after "Spain also contributed medicine" and change "as well as" to "and".
 * Change "For non-government aid, the primary contributor was the Red Cross" to "The primary contributor of non-government aid was the Red Cross".
 * "sent-up" should be "set up"
 * There shouldn't be a colon after "they distributed".
 * Can you specify amounts of clothing and chlorine boxes?
 * Nope, nothing more specific about the clothing and chlorine boxes--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Add "and" after "pounds of beans".
 * Everything in this section is fixed, except where noted--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I have completed everything except where I commented--12george1 (talk) 01:44, 3 May 2012 (UTC)
 * OK, I'm ready to promote once you add the bit about highway infrastructure. :) Keilana | Parlez ici 16:15, 5 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Alright, I fixed that--12george1 (talk) 17:25, 5 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Then we're good to go! Congratulations! Keilana | Parlez ici 17:39, 5 May 2012 (UTC)