Talk:Hurricane Olivia (1975)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:11, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this article shortly, just getting things set up first. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:11, 2 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Second and third sentences of the lead start with "It..."
 * Last two sentences of the lead start with "The hurricane..."
 * I think I fixed the above two, but I fixed it assuming the complaint was two sentences in a row beginning with the same word(s). If this wasn't right, feel free to revert me. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Link circulation to Low-pressure area (I'm assuming)
 * Linked. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * "The circulation became much better defined the next day, and on October 23 Olivia turned northeastward, attaining hurricane status that evening." - Redundancy/time confusion. You state the next day (following October 22) then state on October 23. To me, that reads as if there is a day between the two.
 * I think I've fixed this. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Double fix resulted in grammatical errors, corrected them. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 16:28, 3 March 2011 (UTC)
 * "Further intensification occurred, and around 0500 UTC on October 25 Olivia made landfall on Mazatlán, Sinaloa with peak winds of 115 mph (185 km/h), with gusts to 140 miles per hour (230 km/h)..." - with peak winds...with gusts. Slight repetition, better to reword it.
 * Reworded. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * "As Olivia moved ashore, it produced locally heavy rainfall peaking at 7.28 in (185 mm) in Pueblo Nuevo, Durango." comma after rainfall
 * Inserted. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * "...although precipitation of around 1 in (25 mm) reached as far south as Michoacán." - How far is this from where the center was?
 * "Olivia is one of only three major hurricanes on record to strike Mazatlan, the others being the 1943 hurricane, as well as another in 1957; in addition Hurricane Tico in 1983 came close." - close to what?
 * Clarified, but I don't think my wording was exactly ideal so this might still need some work. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * In the first sentence of the last paragraph, Mazatlán is missing the á.
 * Fixed. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Last paragraph seems out of order; "Three days after...Immediately...The day after
 * I believe I have fixed this. Ks0stm (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

Aside from these issues, the article is good. I'll pass it once they've been addressed. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:23, 2 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Sorry to Hurricanehink and Cyclonebiskit, as this appears to be the second time I've hijacked a GAN involving you two, but I think I have fixed most of the issues. The only ones needed fixing or improvement in my opinion are the one I didn't do anything with and the two where I don't think my wording was ideal. <b style="color:#009900;">Ks0stm</b> (T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks Ks0stm. I think I got the remaining things. --♫ Hurricanehink ( talk ) 21:07, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Alright, everything appears to be in order now. I'm passing the article, well done. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 16:28, 3 March 2011 (UTC)