Talk:Hurricane Ramon/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 05:22, 29 June 2013 (UTC)


 * "The 19th named storm and final hurricane of the above-average 1987 Pacific hurricane season, Hurricane Ramon originated from a tropical disturbance formed in early October." - The word "hurricane" is used three times in this sentence. It would be easiest to do away with the last one.
 * Agreed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "several hundred miles southwest of Manzanillo, bypassing the tropical" - Wikilink to Manzanillo, Colima
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Tropical Storm Ramon turned to the west-northwest from the west." - Was it originally moving to the west? If so, the sentence should probably be reworded to something like this: "Tropical Storm Ramon turned to the west-northwest, after previously moving westward."
 * Tweaked. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Ramon turned to the northwest and rapidly weakened over cooler water." - Water should be in its plural form (waters). Also, wikilink to sea surface temperatures. Don't worry, I won't ask you to abbreviate. :P
 * Not when talking about waters, but did the former.
 * "While at sea, Ramon brought light rainfall to the Baja California Peninsula The remnants of Hurricane Ramon produced heavy rainfall that caused flooding in California, indirectly contributing to five traffic-related fatalities." - Hmm, that's a rather long sentence :P Missing a period between "Peninsula" and "The".
 * Fixed. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Moderate flooding was also reported." - Wait, you basically just said there was flooding twice.
 * I need to run a mile for doing this. 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * The second paragraph of the lede is a little bit too short. Maybe briefly mention the rough seas in Baja California? Or elaborate a bit more on the beneficial rainfall in Utah?
 * I merged it with the 1st. This is a marginally notable storm. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Initially, the storm was expected to move west and thus remain at sea; however, this did not occur." - Hold on, if Ramon expected to remain offshore, but that didn't occurred, does that mean the storm made landfall?
 * No, re-worded. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Ramon held onto marginal tropical storm intensify for 24 hours" - "intensify" to "intensity"
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Rapidly intensifying, Ramon reached major hurricane" - Wikilink to rapid deepening. Also, a layman may not know what a major hurricane is.
 * It did not meet the meteorological definition of RD, but did the second. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "combination of jetstream interactions and increasingly cold sea-surface temperatures." - Why did you wait this long to wikilink sea surface temperatures?
 * Why not? YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Although Hurricane Ramon was far from the state at that time, a flash flood watch was issued for southern Orange, San Diego, western San Bernardino and Riverside counties, citing uncertainty in the storm's path." - There is no state name mentioned here. Maybe reword the first part to: "Although Hurricane Ramon was far from the state of California at that time, ..."?
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "extremely heavy rains across Southern California.[1] Torrential rains deluged Southern California," - That's basically saying the same thing
 * Merged. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "The rains caused a wee-long forest fire 16,000 acre (65,000,000 m²)" - Haha, "wee-long" :P
 * WHEEEEE (fixed). YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Furthermore, the Spring Creek River overflowed their banks." - "their banks" to "its banks"
 * You've told me the opposite before actually. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "The tropical moisture also helped end a 37-day dry spell at Salt Lake City," - Wikilink Salt Lake City
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Nation-wide, Ramon killed five people, all due to road-related incidents." - Nation-wide? All five deaths were in California.
 * California is in the USA. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * There is a little bit more impact available here. Check the California section on page 15, under the two events on October 11 and October 12.
 * Added. Thanks for the link. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Reference 7 needs an accessdate
 * ✅. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * Why is the date mentioned twice in reference 13?
 * It's part of the title in one instance. YE Pacific  Hurricane 05:46, 29 June 2013 (UTC)
 * After a few more fixes by myself, I am now gonna pass this article. Regards, --12george1 (talk) 16:37, 29 June 2013 (UTC)