Talk:Hurricane Rick (1985)/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: HurricaneSpin (talk · contribs) 21:24, 24 June 2013 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

Since I said I will be reviewing one of your GANs, so here it is.
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * I will specify the issues in the sections below.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lede
I will get to the other sections later. Focus on making the lede better for now.
 * "Hurricane Rick threatened Hawaii during September 1985." - It could use a better thesis. Try to include other factors of its notability, such as intensity or its unusual track.
 * Better? YE Pacific  Hurricane 21:30, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "A tropical wave that moved slowly westward over the warm waters south of Salina Cruz." - The "that" in the does not refer to anything, thus this is a fragment sentence. This also could use better wording, such as "The origins of Rick can be traced back to ..."
 * Did something like that. YE Pacific  Hurricane 21:30, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
 * The lede does not flow very fluidly, try adding some transition words.
 * Copyedited. YE Pacific  Hurricane 21:30, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "A weakening trend commenced on September 10; Hurricane Rick began to rapidly deteriorate while turning northwest." - From what I could tell from the track, Rick was already traveling northwest while it intensified. Try reword this and attribute the "turning northwest" segment to the intensification sentences.
 * Meant north-northwest :F YE Pacific  Hurricane 21:30, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "By September 11, Tropical Storm Rick was no more." - Use the word dissipated. WP:WTW
 * Done. YE Pacific  Hurricane 21:30, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "Even though Hurricane Rick turned north sooner than Pauline, the surf did rise somewhat." - What is somewhat? Be more concise with the wording. Also, try adding more about Pauline to the lede or remove it completely. As a reader I can not know what Pauline is if it randomly appears in the lede without explanation. For example, change a previous sentence to "...more of a threat to the Hawaii Islands than Pauline ever was, which was another hurricane expected to impact Hawaii."
 * I cut Pauline out of the lead, but took care of the rest. YE Pacific  Hurricane 21:30, 24 June 2013 (UTC)

Meteorological History

 * The Meteorological History is generally pretty good. But since the dropsonde measured the pressure while it was a category 3 hurricane, the infobox should use <951 mbar of pressure.
 * Eh, that's kinda OR, since Rick was becoming ET. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:18, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
 * "further intensification was initially slow to occur since Rick was 800 mi (1,300 km) west of Hurricane Pauline." It got the facts wrong. I read the MWR and it said Pauline was west of Rick, not the other way round.
 * Directional fail. YE Pacific  Hurricane 22:18, 24 June 2013 (UTC)

Final Remarks
I think this article is now good to go. I am passing it for GA. Congratulations YE, well done, - HurricaneSpin    (Talk)  22:22, 24 June 2013 (UTC)