Talk:Hurricane Shary/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk)

I can help you with this review, since we really need to get it done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 13:59, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

The first problem I see with the article is this sentence: "Unfavorable conditions subsequently took effect, and Shary quickly began to lose tropical characteristics"
 * How do Unfavorable conditions subsequently take effect? It should be worded something like, "However, the storm began to move into an unfavorable environment, and Shary quickly began to weaken."
 * I put something more fitting. ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

In the first part of the Meteorological history, you linked convection, which had already been linked in the lede. I'd de-link one of them. Also, can you find another word for convection, its used multiple times in the article.
 * As you mention, convection appears multiple times in the article. Having them linked once in different sections shouldn't be too big of a problem. I've explained what convection is; if I alternate between synonyms too much, it could confuse the reader, which seems like more of a problem than repetitive words. Nevertheless, I reworded some parts slightly, though I don't see what else I can do to resolve the repetitiveness. ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

Instead of using NHC so much, why don't you alternate between that and "organization". "The organization also noted that Shary would be a relatively short-lived tropical cyclone due to a forecast merge with a Cold Front in the next day or two." Instead of saying day or two, you could use "within the next 48 hours.", which would really help.
 * Fixed. ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

In the Preparations and Impacts section, you mention this sentence: "The Causeway, a low-lying bridge that connects St. David's Island to the mainland, was to be shut down at 7:00 p.m. local time on October 29." Is there a reference for that?
 * It's stated in this one. "... the Government also announced that the Causeway, a low-lying bridge linking the east end, including the airport, to the rest of the island, will close at 7 p.m." ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

Once you fix those issues, it should be an article of GA quality. I'm not the reviewer so I can't pass it or fail it or put it on hold, but I will talk to the primary reviewer about it.
 * Thanks for the secondary review! ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)

Seeing that you fixed the issues that I relayed to you the other day, and I was passed on to primary reviewer, I have passed this article. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 23:20, 9 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review, TropicalAnalystwx13! ★ Auree (talk) 23:51, 9 January 2011 (UTC)