Talk:Hush'd Be the Camps To-Day/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 02:18, 3 March 2021 (UTC)

Opening statement
Hello, and come what may from this review, thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. During the review, I may make copyedits, which I will limit to spelling correction and minor changes to punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. The Nominator(s) should understand that I am a grammar pedant, and I will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. For responding to my comments, please use ✅,, , ❌, , or , followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  02:18, 3 March 2021 (UTC)

Claiming this review as quid pro quo for Harry F. Sinclair House. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  02:18, 3 March 2021 (UTC)
 * It is time. – ♠Vami _IV†♠  05:10, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks, ! I think I've responded to all of your points, let me know if there's anything unresolved Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Prose

 * Whitman was inspired to write the poem by real life experiences. An understatement... and aren't all poets?
 * That sentence as unnecessary Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * [...] which inspired them into silence. I'd advise "stunned into silence".
 * ✅ Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * Although the poem is narrated as a witness of Lincoln lying in state [...] Consider "from the point of view of a witness"?
 * ✅ Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * [...] Whitman himself likely never observed it personally. Considering this is a time before film, I'd have used "likely didn't see it personally."
 * ✅ Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * The line in Footnote A, the shovel'd clods that fill the grave, is not used in the version of the poem in the article.
 * As it turns out, our poem is incorrect, I've amended based upon the Walt Whitman archive, and removed a source for the text altogether (as in plot summaries, the poem's text can source itself, cf. the FA "O Captain! My Captain!"). Teach me to trust what's already in the article! Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * There are exactly one instance of shortenings "Hush'd" and "This Dust" each in the article.
 * , spelled out "This Dust", Hush'd is used as an abbreviation several times Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Referencing

 * The dates in the citations are not standardized.
 * ✅, ran the date formatting script thing Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)


 * There are books and journals that have their full syntax in the citations rather than "Bibliography".
 * ✅, converted the books to Sfn Eddie891 Talk Work 12:46, 4 March 2021 (UTC)