Talk:Hy Cohen/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 21:26, 25 August 2021 (UTC)

I'm going to be popping a look over at this! —  Ghost River  21:26, 25 August 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

 * There's a lot of repetition in the lede para. Might I suggest something like: "an American former professional baseball relief pitcher who played in seven games for the Chicago Cubs of Major League Baseball (MLB) in 1955. He batted and threw right-handed."
 * Reworded. "Professional" is unnecessary, and "former" is not used for deceased players (only for ones who are retired). —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * On that note, delink Chicago Cubs in the second paragraph
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Start the third sentence with "Both of his parents were Polish immigrants:"
 * Done. I tacked it onto the end of the second sentence (which was only four words long) – hope that's alright. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "For the New York Giants of Major League Baseball (MLB)."
 * Added. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * No comma needed after "High School", and you can get rid of the mid-sentence ref since it also appears at the end
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

Minor leagues

 * WL innings pitched
 * Linked. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "3 wins in the playoffs" "three wins in the playoffs" per MOS:NUMBERS
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "9-game stint" "nine-game stint" per MOS:NUMBERS
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "and he finished second in walks plus hits per inning pitched (WHIP) (1.051) and seventh in wins (16)." "and he finished second with a 1.051 walks plus hits per inning pitched (WHIP) as well as seventh in wins (16)."
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

Chicago Cubs (1955)

 * Since it's the only team he played for and he only played in one season, I think you can drop the (1955) in the header; that's more to serve as a guide for players who had 20-year careers for 8 different clubs or something like that
 * Agreed – removed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "over 7 innings" "over seven innings" per MOS:NUMBERS
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * Please mention his major league career final record
 * Already mentioned in the infobox. And 0–0 is not significant enough to be included in the prose. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)

Return to minor leagues

 * You don't need to mention "until 1958" in the first sentence, as that's mentioned later, and it's more logical to put at the end
 * Removed and merged with second sentence (since the opening sentence of just "Cohen went back to the minor leagues" would read awkwardly). —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)


 * No comma needed after "five games for the club"
 * Removed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 23:48, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

Later life

 * Awkward flow here – I would move everythingi up to "Hall of Fame" into the first paragraph, since that all concerns his educational experience, and drop the square dancing thing, which is tangential at best
 * Fixed. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "six days after his birthday. He was 90," "six days after his 90th birthday."
 * Done. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)


 * "and had been diagnosed with COVID-19 during the COVID-19 pandemic in California several months before his death along with suffering physical issues." "He had contracted the COVID-19 virus months before his ultimate death, and had continued to suffer health issues from the virus even after his supposed recovery."
 * Done (reworded slightly). —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)

General comments

 * Only one image is present; it's public domain and obviously relevant to the article
 * No concerns with stability, the last edit was on May 6
 * Copyvio score looks good, the only reason one is at 11.5% is because of proper nouns

Some MOS stuff, as well as prose that I think can be tightened or moved around. Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. —  Ghost River  21:42, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
 * thanks very much for the review! I hope I've addressed your comments satisfactorily. —Bloom6132 (talk) 01:58, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks good now, happy to pass! —  Ghost River  12:11, 30 August 2021 (UTC)