Talk:I'm Just Wild About Harry/GA1

GA Review
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A nice, short article about an interesting subject. I enjoyed reading it and did a little copyediting, but a few things stood out:


 * 1) The first sentence needs a lot of work. I would like to see the parentheses removed and the information worked into the prose. I also think that the names of the writers of Shuffle along should be a separate sentence so that the information is easier to understand.
 * 2) NAACP should be spelled out rather than just giving the abbreviation so that all readers can understand what it is.
 * 3) The long quotation in the "Background" section seems to take the place of the prose. I would recommend working some of the information into your own description rather than just pasting it all it. Perhaps a smaller portion of the quotation can be kept, though.
 * 4) "The title and chorus of the musical's most famous number" - most famous is point of view without a reference. Reference 4 seems to work for this.
 * 5) Italics are used in place of quotation marks throughout the article.
 * 6) The "Structure" section is sparse and could use more information.
 * 7) Overall, I still don't get an impression of how the song was used. It was in the play, but what is going on at the time? Can I assume that there is a character named Harry? Who is wild about him? I recently reviewed Listen (song), which I felt did a good job of explaining how and why the song was used in the movie (ie. she's feeling controlled and the song shows her desire to assert independence).
 * 8) The quotation in the "Reception" section: see my comments on the "Background" quotation.
 * 9) References should be in numerical order when two are used: [4][8], not [8][4].

I am going to place the nomination on hold to allow for these concerns to be addressed and/or discussed. Any questions or comments can be left here, as I have placed this page on my watchlist. Best wishes, GaryColemanFan (talk) 18:04, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Eight days have passed with no response and no progress. Unfortunately, I am going to have to fail the nomination. I urge the editor(s) involved to use these suggestions for future improvements to the article. I hope to see this article back at GA once this has been done, as it has definite GA potential and it a very interesting article. GaryColemanFan (talk) 06:20, 2 November 2008 (UTC)