Talk:IPhone 4s/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 04:22, 4 May 2012 (UTC)

Hello, I will be reviewing this article and I hope no know will delete the page this time. Let me start by listing so of my issues below:
 * I noticed in the infobox it says, "Four million in first three days". First of all, can you be more specific with when that was. For all I know, it would have been October 14-17, October 28-31, November 11-13, November 25-28, December 16-19, or January 13-16. Also, can you find a more recent number because at a minimum, that would have been almost five months ago.✅
 * "The iPhone 4S was released on October 14, 2011, in United States, Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom, France, Germany, and Japan. It was then released on October 28, 2011, in Austria, Belgium, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Mexico, the Netherlands, Norway, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland, on November 11, 2011, in Albania, Armenia, Bulgaria, El Salvador, Greece, Guatemala, Hong Kong, Malta, Montenegro, New Zealand, Panama, Poland, Portugal, Romania, and South Korea, on November 25, 2011, in Colombia, Moldova, and India, on December 16, 2011, in Brazil, Chile, Israel, Malaysia, the Philippines, Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Taiwan, Thailand, Turkey, the United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, and Bahrain, and on January 13, 2012, in Anguilla, Antigua and Barbuda, Bolivia, Botswana, the British Virgin Islands, Cameroon, the Cayman Islands, the Central African Republic, China, Dominica, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Grenada, Guam, Guinea, Côte d'Ivoire, Jamaica, Kenya, Madagascar, Mali, Mauritius, Niger, Senegal, St. Vincent and The Grenadines, Trinidad and Tobago, Turks and Caicos, Uganda, and Jordan." - I hope you don't mind me ask you do to this, but can you wikilink every country and territory name in that paragraph. Comment - Would it be more appropriate to wikilink the countries in the infobox or in the paragraph. Wikilinking it in the prose might make it look unsightly. - YuMaNuMa
 * We tried that with the iPad 3 article, and well, ehh... The prose just looked horrible. Also, wouldn't wikilinking them all violate WP:OVERLINK? Zach Vega (talk to me) 05:57, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "speakerphone/Facetime mode" - What is "Facetime mode" ✅
 * "the prior generation iPhones; 3.5 inch, 640×960 resolution (Apple's "retina" design)" - I would convert the 3.5 inch to millimetres or centimetres, so it will be easier for non-Americans to comprehend it. ✅
 * "Another example, is that a person can ask Siri for information while" - Remove the comma after "example" ✅
 * "On the 4S, the Apple A5 processor and iOS 5" - Just say "iPhone 4S" again ✅
 * "There are many third-party buyers of old phones, and Apple also buys back old phones under a special program." - I am confused as to how this is relevant with the previous sentences. ✅ - Comment Restructured the sentence to make it more relevant to the section - YuMaNuMa
 * Alright, then scratch the thing about wikilinking countries. So with nothing else negative I can find, I will now pass this article.--12george1 (talk) 18:19, 4 May 2012 (UTC)