Talk:I Lost a Friend/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:39, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

I believe I owe you one after you co-nominated "Lift Yourself", so I will give back by reviewing this! --K. Peake 11:39, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Infobox looks good!
 * Add mention of Finneas writing and producing the song as the second sentence since the lead is quite short currently; it should be written out in the body anyway because otherwise the credits in the infobox are WP:OR and a personnel section is not needed for one performer
 * Target single to Single (music); this will be the third sentence
 * "Described as an electropop ballad," → "An electropop ballad," with the target
 * "childhood friend, and regretting and wondering" → "childhood friend and regretting doing so, as well as wondering" since this is more accurate
 * "A music video for the track was" → "An accompanying music video was" with the wikilink
 * The body does not call the field "overgrown" or anything familiar
 * Swap live performance and remix order
 * "A remix by" → "A remix of the song by"

Background and development
❌
 * Target WBUR to WBUR-FM
 * "Finneas explains the song" → "Finneas explained the song"
 * "He says" → "He said,"
 * "He continues to say it's about" → "He continued by saying the song is about"
 * "he had reunited with again." → "with whom he had reunited again."
 * "going to hear it," → "going to hear the song"
 * "to get his opinion on the song." → "to get his opinion."
 * "The songs cover art" → "The song's cover art"
 * Writing in 2018 sentence should come directly after the above instead
 * Digital download and streaming part should come before the second single status
 * Target single to Single (music)
 * "on Finneas' debut extended play (EP), → "from Finneas' debut EP"
 * Remove wikilink on Blood Harmony and add the release year of the album in brackets
 * Move the remix mention to music video and promotion after the live performances in a new para
 * "the song during the afternoon in" → "the song during an afternoon when in"
 * Add a sentence saying the writing and production credits

Composition and lyrics

 * "described the genre of the track as an" → "described "I Lost a Friend" as an"
 * Target ballad to Sentimental ballad
 * "features minimalist of instrumentation of" → "features minimalist instrumentation that consists of"
 * Remove wikilinks on piano and drums
 * "an aggressive beat and" → "an aggressive beat, and"
 * "later explained in an interview with Pitchfork saying:" → "later explained the production in an interview with Pitchfork, saying:"
 * "a "talk-through," and wanted to" → "a "talk-through", which meant he tried to"
 * "He showcases this in the pre-chorus." → "Finneas showcases the process in the pre-chorus:" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * [11] should solely be at the end of the para
 * "discusses the pre-chorus" → "discussed the pre-chorus"
 * "and people to stay" → "and others to stay"
 * "fights," He further says," → "fights", and also said,"

Critical reception

 * "met with mainly positive reviews." → "met with mainly positive reviews from music critics" with the target
 * "on your tracks."" → "on your tracks"."
 * Will Richards' review belongs after Brittany Spanos' because the former is the most critical review here so should come after the others that are clearly more positive
 * "Writing for NME, Will Richards" → "For NME, Will Richards"
 * "less positive with the song," → "less positive towards the song,"
 * "distorted bass", comparing it to Billie Eilish's" → "distorted bass," comparing "I Lost a Friend" to Billie Eilish's debut studio album" with the wikilink
 * Add release year of the album in brackets
 * Move the remix praise to the remix's new para in the succeeding section to this one
 * "was also praised by critics." → "was praised by critics."
 * "and that it shifts" → "and stated that the remix shifts"
 * "noted the original featured a" → "noted that while the original features a"

Music video and promotion

 * Mention in the opening sentence that it was released to Finneas' YouTube channel
 * "the sunset lowers and the darkness" → "the sunset lowers and darkness"
 * "As he continues to" → "While Finneas continues to"
 * "met with positive reviews" → "met with positive reviews from critics."
 * "its one take", and that "images" → "its one take", noting the choreography for "images"
 * "Finneas toured throughout" → "He toured across"
 * "he performed from the EP during the tour." → "Finneas performed from the EP on the tour."
 * "In October of the same year," → "That same month,"
 * "performed on a keyboard," → "performed while sat at a keyboard,"
 * "covered in blue and neon lights showcasing" → "being covered in blue as neon lights showcased" with the target
 * "in hushed vocals.[20] He briefly wanders off the stage before" → "in hushed vocals, and briefly wandered off the stage during the performance before"

Final comments and verdict

 * until all the issues are fixed, was nice to do a review for you once again! --K. Peake 15:21, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, thank you so much for the review! It's always a pleasure working with you! I have addressed all of your concerns. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 18:44, 16 November 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you, but the not done template should only be marked on things that are really not done; though why are you against moving the remix info? --K. Peake 21:24, 16 November 2020 (UTC)
 * I feel it would be better in the background. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 01:58, 18 November 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ now, good job on solving the issues but I still did some brief copyediting! --K. Peake 09:03, 18 November 2020 (UTC)