Talk:I Thought About Killing You/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Lizzy150 (talk · contribs) 11:32, 21 December 2019 (UTC)

Hi

Just started a GA review of this. With a few tweaks, it's almost there! Here's my comments:


 * "released as the opening track" - was it released as a single? If not, I'd be tempted to change that to "it is the opening/title track"
 * "West's thoughts of killing himself and another unidentified person" - that sounds a bit informal. Perhaps bring forward the terms 'suicidal' and 'homicide'/'murder' here, eg. 'West's thoughts of suicide and homicide'.
 * "top-forty positions" - since you've expressed numbers as figures in the sentence, should this be 'top 40'?
 * "West tweeted out in a manner" - perhaps 'West posted a tweet that indicated'? The 'in a manner' bugs me a little because it's hard to interpret the 'manner' of someone's digital text!
 * "specific lines" - 'specific lyrics'?
 * "The original version of the song contains an uncredited sample from "Fr3sh", as performed by Kareem Lotfy" - you've used this sentence twice now (in the first two sections). Consider rephrasing one of them.
 * "It stands along with "Yikes" as one of the times that West's mental health is addressed by him on the album." - perhaps rephrase it to 'It stands along with "Yikes" as one of the occasions where West addresses his mental health on the album'. Just simplifies the sentence.
 * Critical reception section - no issues here but is it possible to paraphrase a couple of quotes? See Wikipedia: Quotes. It may help give the section some original content as it feels a bit bloat-quoted.
 * "specific lines" - 'specific lyrics'?
 * "The original version of the song contains an uncredited sample from "Fr3sh", as performed by Kareem Lotfy" - you've used this sentence twice now (in the first two sections). Consider rephrasing one of them.
 * "It stands along with "Yikes" as one of the times that West's mental health is addressed by him on the album." - perhaps rephrase it to 'It stands along with "Yikes" as one of the occasions where West addresses his mental health on the album'. Just simplifies the sentence.
 * Critical reception section - no issues here but is it possible to paraphrase a couple of quotes? See Wikipedia: Quotes. It may help give the section some original content as it feels a bit bloat-quoted.
 * "It stands along with "Yikes" as one of the times that West's mental health is addressed by him on the album." - perhaps rephrase it to 'It stands along with "Yikes" as one of the occasions where West addresses his mental health on the album'. Just simplifies the sentence.
 * Critical reception section - no issues here but is it possible to paraphrase a couple of quotes? See Wikipedia: Quotes. It may help give the section some original content as it feels a bit bloat-quoted.
 * Critical reception section - no issues here but is it possible to paraphrase a couple of quotes? See Wikipedia: Quotes. It may help give the section some original content as it feels a bit bloat-quoted.

Overall, well-written in structured and consistent prose. Sufficient in-line citations and references. Appears to be stable, neutral and focused on topic. No copyright violations detected, although some quotes were flagged, these have been referenced. Some media illustration is provided. Thanks, Just Lizzy(talk) 11:32, 21 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Fixed the issues and also updated the listening party info, good now? --Kyle Peake (talk) 11:54, 21 December 2019 (UTC)

Thanks for the speedy updates, no further issues from me. Now passing. Just Lizzy(talk) 12:52, 21 December 2019 (UTC)