Talk:Ian Kennedy/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 11:39, 31 August 2021 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:39, 31 August 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * ”as a freshman, and was” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Despite a slump” – “Though he slumped”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Kennedy was unable to hold his minor-league momentum with the Yankees, however, and missed most of the 2009 season with an aneurysm in his arm.” – “Kennedy spent parts of three seasons with the Yankees, missing most of the 2009 season with an aneurysm in his arm.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ” After two strong seasons in San Diego, a hamstring issue soured Kennedy's 2015 performance” – “He spent two strong seasons in San Diego before a hamstring issue soured his 2015 performance.” End the sentence there.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ” and he opted to become a free agent at the end of the year, allowing him to sign with Kansas City. These injuries continued for several more seasons until the Royals moved Kennedy to the bullpen for the 2019 season.” – “He opted to become a free agent at the end of the year, then signed with the Royals. Injuries continued to plague him until the Royals moved him to the bullpen for the 2019 season.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”leading MLB in saves” – “recording 30 saves that season.” (I’d also recommend mentioning the save total in the text later on.)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ” Kennedy signed with the Rangers, under new management from his former teammate Chris Young, in 2021.” – “Kennedy signed with the Rangers in 2021.” – The Young thing’s good to mention in the body but probably too specific for this article’s lead.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after setup man
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * From the same place as Balester! (Don’t mention that in the article, haha.)
 * ”fractured patella, but managed” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ” Kennedy finished his high school career in 2003 with a 39–2 record” – “Kennedy graduated high school in 2003 with a 39–2 record”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

College career

 * Link no-hitter on first mention in the first paragraph, and delink it in the third paragraph.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”USC fell” – “the Trojans fell” – just to make that plural verb seem a little more natural.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * No comma needed after Super Regional.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”scored a hit” – “recorded a hit”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Minor leagues

 * ”of June, and won” – No comma needed
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”129 strikeouts, and was” – No comma needed
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

New York Yankees

 * ”after straining” – “because he strained” (to avoid repeating after so quickly)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link International League
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Put the date of his start against the Angels.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in Triple-A, but began” – Comma not needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”his biceps, and underwent” – Comma not needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Arizona Diamondbacks

 * ”70 batters, and led” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I wouldn’t bother to mention Hudson, unless they’d both been competing for the Opening Day start.
 * ✅ swapped for his spring training stats —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Don’t need to mention Putz”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:48, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I’d mention that he finished fourth in Cy Young voting. (Still think he should’ve won it, though Kershaw did also have a good year.)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”among the top in the NL” – “among the leaders in the NL”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * What day did Arizona clinch?
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”regular season luck” – “regular season success”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”division rivals the” – “the division rival”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Kennedy accidentally struck three batters with a pitch: first, a sixth-inning fastball glanced off of Yasiel Puig's face; the next inning, Kennedy struck catcher Miguel Montero in the back.” – “Kennedy accidentally struck three batters with a pitch. First, he glanced a fastball off of Yasiel Puig’s face in the sixth inning.  In the next inning, Kennedy struck catcher Miguel Montero in the back.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I think you have the wrong catcher listed—Montero was his catcher.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”After striking” – “After Kennedy struck”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”After the incident” – Take this out to avoid repeating after; I think it’ll be pretty evident what Kennedy was suspended for.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”for 10 games, for” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

San Diego Padres

 * Don’t mention Ross in the second paragraph, especially as Kennedy (the No. 2) wasn’t behind Ross (the No. 3).
 * I put "between" instead of "behind", as I think that's what I meant to say, but would not be opposed to taking Ross out as well. —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”4.28 ERA, but showed” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Can take out as anticipated in the last sentence—redundant.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Kansas City Royals

 * ”Manager Ned Yost referred to the injury as "slight", and his removal precautionary” – “Manager Ned Yost said the removal was precautionary for a “slight” injury.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He later” – “Kennedy later”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”when Kansas City defeated Detroit 3—1” – I’d take this out, as you don’t describe the last win before the drought.
 * That actually describes the win that broke the drought, so I clarified —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”2016 season, going” – “2016 season, in which he went” (Also change “striking” to “struck”).
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * At the end of the 2018 paragraph, “in which he went” instead of “where he went”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Add “For the period” to the start of the “Between May 30 and September 23…” sentence.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Instead of the amount of games finished, I’d put the amount of saves Kennedy recorded (and perhaps the amount of blown saves as well).
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I’d link injured list on first mention, since non-baseball people might think it’s different from the disabled list.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”ground ball, but began” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Texas Rangers

 * ”and his fellow” – Probably don’t need “his”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Philadelphia Phillies

 * ”to serve as” – “hoping he would serve as”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Probably don’t need “in turn” in the last sentence”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Pitching style

 * ”have drawn” – “has drawn”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”to Mike Mussina” – “to that of Mike Mussina”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”have also become” – “became”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * ”wedding, but were” – “wedding, but they wound up being”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I’d move the sentence about Isaac to after the sentences about Evelyn, since she’s older.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  13:39, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Nice start as usual; mostly minor fixes. Let me know when you’ve finished, and I’ll give it another look! (Still think he should’ve won the 2011 NL Cy Young Award, but oh well…) Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:34, 31 August 2021 (UTC)
 * I think I hit everything! As for the Cy Young, well, Kershaw was obviously for optic reasons, but I'm not going to say Kennedy was more deserving than two of the Four Aces ;) —  Ghost River  14:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks good now, passing. Nice job on a long article! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 02:37, 2 September 2021 (UTC)