Talk:If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 06:03, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

For all your contributions to the music GANs page, I will review this soon; I can seen that you are as reliable as clockwork for responses! --K. Peake 06:03, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you man! I appreciate it. I'm trying to get NOACF to good topic status. I just need to copyedit the remaining singles before overhauling the album itself. Looking forward to your input and experience. Cheers! (P.S. I apologize for the not-totally-proper use of British English. I’ve tried my best, but I’m used to writing in Canadian English; the strange hybrid lovechild of British and American English, lol.)  Gia co bbe  talk 13:31, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Recording date is not sourced, as the body only mentions the majority of the album's recording being in 2019
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * WP:OVERLINK of the 1975 under songwriters
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "by English band the 1975." → "by English band the 1975 from their fourth studio album, Notes on a Conditional Form (2020)." with the wikilink
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "It was released on" → "The song was released on"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target single to Single (music)
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * End the sentence with "from the album." instead, as the title will be mentioned in the first sentence in the new order
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The song was written by" → "It was written by"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Ross MacDonald, and Matthew Healy." → "Ross MacDonald and Matthew Healy." since the article is in British English
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Production of the track was" → "Production of the song was"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target choruses to Refrain, but it is not mentioned anywhere in the body that Ross played the instruments for the choruses
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target bridge to Bridge (music)
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "performing "If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)" were" → "performing the song were"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "among fans of the band." → "among their fanbase."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Couldn't you trim down the instrumentation mentioned in the second para because it reads like a supermarket list; specifically remove flugelhorn, saxophone and trumpet since they've already been mentioned in the lead
 * A supermarket list hahaha ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on guitar
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target synths to Synthesizer
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The track's maximalist production" → "The song's maximalist production"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "pop rock, and pop-punk" → "pop rock and pop-punk"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Lyrically, "If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)" details" → "Lyrically, the song details"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The part of the sentence that follows should be reworded since it is identically to the body so reads repetitively
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "dependency, and despondency." → "dependency and despondency."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Duran Duran, and Bruce Springsteen," → "Duran Duran and Bruce Springsteen," since the later comma is still needed
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on Notes on a Conditional Form
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "given to its production," → "given to the production,"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The single attained international" → "It attained international"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the top twenty in" → "the top 20 in" per MOS:NUM
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "number 50 in Belgium, and" → "as well as number 50 in Belgium and" to avoid too many commas while still making sense
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Domestically, "If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)"" → "Domestically, the song"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "for the single was" → "for the song was"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "it featured black and white visuals of the band" → "the video features black and white visuals of the 1975"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:20, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Background and release

 * Img is a neat addition that brings back memories, looks good too!
 * Thanks, glad you liked it!  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to their second studio album," → "to their second studio album"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "set to be released" → "with it being set for release"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "second album, Notes on a Conditional Form," → "second album Notes on a Conditional Form"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The source mentions the album being recorded in 2019, not the majority of it; however, this needs fixing from other source(s) since I can see from the album article that it was not fully recorded that year
 * Reworded and added a second ref. ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:02, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The title of the tour should not be in italics
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "scheduling it for 21 February 2020 and later for 24 April 2020" the source mentions the months February and March of 2020, not the dates listed here
 * Added a more specific ref. ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 14:24, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "most exhaustive recording processes on" → "most exhaustive recording processes for"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of The Durruti Column," → "of the Durruti Column," per MOS:CAPS
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target sample to Sampling (music)
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target chorus to Refrain
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to write the verses." → "to write a verse."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target operatic to Opera
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "which he said," → "which he said"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Why is the PF ref invoked solely at the end of the para when it is used for multiple sentences prior? This would be acceptable if the entirety of the para was backed up by the source, but it is not; try invoking around every two sentences or so as a guideline.
 * I'm afraid a little confused. This was the way I normally write articles. However, in my last GA review, the reviewer wanted to me to reformat and only cite at the last use of the ref in the paragraph. He pointed me to WP:RECITE, which I couldn't find any info on. So now I'm a little confused. Should I be citing whenever the source is used, or only at its last use in a paragraph?  Gia co bbe  talk 14:18, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * You do have a valid point and after having read WP:REPCITE, I believe that you should only invoke ref 9 in two areas: the one it is already in and at the end of the "created the final version" sentence. This is because it is used to back up all of the sentences to the latter point, but the sentence in-between that one and the end one is solely attributed to ref 8, so you can have the last sentence also invoke ref 9 comfortably. --K. Peake 14:28, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:25, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on England
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on Music For Cars Tour
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "in the UK." → "in the United Kingdom."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "called it the best song" → "called it the most promising song" since not only is this what the source says, but it is most appropriate for context of a performance
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target single to Single (music)
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * ""Drop 'Too Shy'"" → ""Drop 'Too Shy""
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink Twitter
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * It is written that the song was released alongside a radio edit, but the source only links to the radio edit; either reword or add another source
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:25, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "up about [it]."" → "up about [it]"." per MOS:QUOTE
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 13:42, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Composition

 * Retitle to Composition and lyrics
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of "If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)" showcasing" → "of "If You're Too Shy (Let Me Know)", showcasing" on the audio sample text
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of five minutes and nineteen seconds." → "of five minutes and 19 seconds (5:19)." per MOS:NUM
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The funk and techno elements are not sourced, unless they are from the Financial Times ref that I can't view due to not having a subscription
 * Was using WP:RECITE. I've recited it here, as per our discussion above. ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I gave a wikilink to the WP guideline properly above and this looks a lot better, identifying the elements as techno-funk! --K. Peake 15:33, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you! I had trouble finding it before. BTW, if you ever come across an article by the Financial Times blocked behind a paywall, simply Tweet the link and open it from there. It will let you read it through the app :)  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "is set in common time" → "is set in the time signature of common time" with the wikilink
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink chord progression
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target pre-choruses to Pre-chorus per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove wikilink on guitar
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove target on samples
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "deep grooves, and" → "deep grooves and" with the target
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "dependency, and despondency." → "dependency and despondency."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target ambient to Ambient music and new-age to New-age music on the img text
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 15:13, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The intro length, "ghostly" description, drones, reverb, and glitch elements are not sourced by the two refs at the end of the sentence or the following one
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The ethereal and wordless parts do not appear to be backed up
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "with Healy singing:" the lyrics that follow are not written out by the source
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "anticipation "almost palpable."" → "anticipation "almost palpable"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "I need to get back," the lyrics are not mentioned by sources as being the pre-chorus
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes / I wanna see and stop thinking / If you're too shy then let me know"" needs small speech marks around this part of the quote
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [28][25][34] should be put in numerical order
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Target bridge to Bridge (music)
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * You should here that the saxophone is alto and tenor, as is written in the lead and the source can be found from credits and personnel
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove release year for A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "to Bruce Springsteen, and" → "to Bruce Springsteen and"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "over video chat."" → "over video chat"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:17, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * Img looks good!
 * Thanks!  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "favourably comparing it to" → "favourably comparing the song to"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Duran Duran, and The Cure." → "Duran Duran and the Cure." per MOS:CAPS
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace The Edge per WP:RSSM
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "called the single" → "called the song"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "without it tiring."" → "without it tiring"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove or replace RedBrick per WP:RSSM
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "and metaphorically compared it" → "and metaphorically compared the song"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Wikilink [[lightning rod]
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "from the heavens."" → "from the heavens"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "they wish to."" → "they wish to"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the single was emblematic" → "the song is emblematic"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "micro-genre", and" → "micro-genre" and"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Ross Horton of MusicOMH said the song was" → "Ross Horton of musicOMH said the song is"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "calling it "the record's" → "calling the song "the record's"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "charmingly sleazy hook."" → "charmingly sleazy hook"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "wrote it was:" → "wrote it is:"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "In a favourable review," → "In another favourable review," because otherwise, it sounds like this is coming after mixed/negative ones
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "was the only track" → "is the only track"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of The 1975 (2013)," → "of the 1975's eponymous debut studio album (2013),"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "commenting that it placed" → "commenting that the song places"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of a John Hughes film." → "of a Hughes film."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Img looks good!
 * Thanks!  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "remarked that it:" → "remarked that the song"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The release years added in brackets aren't included in the quoted text; either add with [] or alter prose to take the songs and artists out of the quote
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * The Blue Nile → the Blue Nile
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [combined] → [combines]
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "radio-friendly hooks."" → "radio-friendly hooks"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "called it" → "called the track"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "Simple Minds never wrote."" → "Simple Minds never wrote"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove release year of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "erotic Zoom call."" → "erotic Zoom call"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "saxophones, and "saucy"" → "saxophones and "saucy""
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "the insatiable jam."" → "the insatiable jam"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "of Tears For Fear" → "of Tears For Fears"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "that it represented the band" → "that it represents the band"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "The Cure, and the music of John Hughes" → "the Cure and the music of Hughes"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:37, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Year-end lists

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:55, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Shouldn't you mention the names of the lists; see "Clique" for example? Especially since a number of these are unranked.
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:55, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Edwin Ortiz (Complex) → Edwin Ortiz (Complex) with the target per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 16:55, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Music video

 * Wikilink music video
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove target on directed
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove target on producer
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Remove target on edited
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * [60] should be at the end of the "Visually simplistic," sentence, as it is only invoked once currently in this para
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "It is shot in" → "The video is shot in"
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * "yet effective approach."" → "yet effective approach"."
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:00, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * Create this section because not only did the song chart in numerous countries, but you have written about this in the lead
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:58, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Use so there is the right space between credits and personnel
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 18:05, 21 January 2021 (UTC)


 * Composers should be first, followed by producer, followed by backing vocalist, then instrumental contributors and end with mixer
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 18:05, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Charts

 * Use col to separate weekly and year-end charts
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:58, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Weekly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:58, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Year-end charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 * ✅  Gia co bbe  talk 17:58, 21 January 2021 (UTC)

Final comments and verdict

 * until all of the issues are fixed, but the most noticeable one throughout was American English being used even though English is the performer's nationality. --K. Peake 14:21, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * I believe I've addressed all of your concerns and made the necessary changes. Thank you for taking the time to review this article for me, I genuinely appreciate it. You rock. Cheers!  Gia co bbe  talk 18:34, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * It is amazing to hear you are so satisfied with this review, but you still need to address the comments I made regarding the references and edit out mentions of the song's title where I said to in the lead. --K. Peake 18:40, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Sorry, must have missed those two in the lead. Copyvio score now at 44%. I can't archive the references, it gives me an error message: "Analysis error: blocked: You have been blocked from editing".  Gia co bbe  talk 19:09, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * That has happened to me before, it is not a user specific thing; the issue only arises when the tool is not working temporarily. ✅ nevertheless, as the sources can be archived days from now hopefully or however long it takes for the tool to fix! --K. Peake 19:19, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Ahh okay. No worries, I'll try again later tonight. Fingers crossed. Thank you for your (very) speedy review. Top notch work. Cheers!  Gia co bbe  talk 19:23, 21 January 2021 (UTC)
 * Yeah you try that, if not successful then give it a few days before another attempt. Also, I would like to issue a big thanks to you for working as well as clockwork in your response!!! --K. Peake 19:25, 21 January 2021 (UTC)