Talk:Ilomilo (song)/GA2

GA Review
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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 07:49, 5 May 2020 (UTC)

Coming later today --Kyle Peake (talk) 07:49, 5 May 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead
✅
 * Remove source used to verify the length
 * Should just be O'Connell under producer since we already know his forename
 * "The track was sent to" → "The song was sent to"
 * "Universal Music Group as the record's seventh" → "Universal Music Group, as the album's seventh"
 * "co-wrote "Ilomilo"," → "co-wrote it,"
 * "handled its production" → "handled the production"
 * "instrumentation, "Ilomilo" was heavily" → "instrumentation, the song was heavily"
 * Put the target to the puzzle video game on the four words "of the same name"
 * "It also references" → "The former also references"
 * "predecessor on the album" → "predecessor on the track list" to avoid re-instating the album in this para
 * "addresses several lyrical topics" → "addresses several lyrical topics within "Ilomilo""
 * "whilst her distorted and stuttering" → "while her distorted and stuttering"
 * ""Ilomilo" was performed live" → "the song was performed live"
 * "Eilish's 2019 When We All Fall Asleep Tour and 2020 Where Do We Go? World Tour," → "Eilish's When We All Fall Asleep Tour and Where Do We Go? World Tour in 2019 and 2020, respectively."
 * "as well as released an animated visualizer for on April 24, 2020." → "On April 24, 2020, an animated visualizer was released for the song."
 * Are you sure higher chart positions shouldn't be mentioned in the lead?
 * "Canada and the United States" → "Canada, and the United States"

Background
✅
 * Retitle to Background and release
 * Img needs alt text
 * ""Ilomilo" is the eleventh track on Eilish's debut studio album, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?, released for digital download and streaming on March 29, 2019 by Darkroom and Interscope Records." → "On March 29, 2019, "Ilomilo" was released as the eleventh track on Eilish's debut studio album When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?."
 * "was eventually sent to" → "was later sent to"
 * "as the record's seventh" → "as the album's seventh"
 * "brother Finneas O'Connell; the latter solely" → "brother Finneas O'Connell, the latter of which solely"
 * Target mastering and mixing to Mastering (audio) and Audio mixing (recorded music), respectively
 * "credited as a studio personnel" → "credited as studio personnel"

Composition and lyrical interpretation
✅
 * AllMusic should not have a space within it
 * It is Jon Pareles not John Pareles and use the appropriate wikilink
 * "to sound like she" → "to sound as if she"
 * "and is played over" → "and it is played over"
 * Put the wikilink to the video game on "of the same name"
 * "is to reunite two" → "is reuniting two" since to and two close together doesn't read well in prose
 * "have associated the text" → "have associated the lyrical content" to specify what text you are referring to
 * "and to suicidal thoughts" → "and suicidal thoughts"
 * "reference "Bury a Friend" (2019)" → "reference the single "Bury a Friend" (2019)"
 * "its predecessor on" → "the song's predecessor on"
 * ""Bury a Friend" in turn ends → "the former in turn ends" to avoid stating the title too much
 * "in an MTV interview" → "in an interview with MTV"
 * "who called it" → "who called the track"
 * "With the availability of" → "Following the availability of"
 * "On the same occasion" → "At the same time"
 * "The song also reached modest peaks..." too many refs at the end of this sentence, so add them after each country: "Australia,[15] Canada,[16]" etc.
 * "It has notably been awarded gold certifications" → "It has since been certified gold"
 * "was released on Eilish's" → "was released to Eilish's"
 * "in June" → "in June of that year"
 * "Whilst performed at" → "While it was performed by her at"
 * "in August" → "in August 2019"
 * "the singer further performed" → "Eilish further performed"
 * "In April 2020" → "In April of that year"

Credits and personnel

 * Any specific order here?

✅ Sorted by last names. Cartoon network freak (talk) 16:29, 5 May 2020 (UTC)

Charts

 * Good

Certifications

 * Good

Final comments and verdict
for a week, as you will be able to fix the changes in that time. --Kyle Peake (talk) 15:43, 5 May 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you very much for the review! Your comments have been solved. Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 17:27, 5 May 2020 (UTC)
 * You still have not removed the unreliable Forbes ref --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:11, 6 May 2020 (UTC)
 * My bad, I forgot to. I found a better source (Insider) now. Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 05:33, 6 May 2020 (UTC)

✅ on this now, thanks for co-operating and good to hear from you again! --Kyle Peake (talk) 05:58, 6 May 2020 (UTC)