Talk:Industrial Revolution/Archive 5

Semi-protected edit request on 27 April 2022
The Criticisms section is very poorly written, with many grammatical errors and a sense of opinionated authorship. It is difficult for me to summarise all the proposed changes here. I have tried to provide some examples below, but a lot of this section and its subsections require proofreading, rewording, and substantiation.

Example: Original first paragraph
''The Industrial revolution has been criticised for complete ecological collapse, causing mental illness, pollution and unnatural systems of organizing for humanity. Since the start of the industrial revolution people have criticised it by stating the Industrial Revolution turned humanity and nature into slaves and destroying the world. It has also been criticised by valuing profits and corporate growth over life and wellbeing, multiple movements have arose philosophically against the Industrial revolution and include groups such as the Amish and Primitivism.''

Proposed Changes

 * Inconsistent capitalisation of 'Industrial Revolution'.


 * "complete ecological collapse" - The word 'complete' is redundant or inaccurate. This statement is not universally true; partial collapse can also occur.


 * "causing mental illness" - Elaboration or citation required. Caused to whom? On what scale?


 * "unnatural systems of organizing for humanity" - Poor grammar. What is this supposed to mean?


 * "Since the start of the industrial revolution people have criticised it by stating the Industrial Revolution turned humanity and nature into slaves and destroying the world." - Poor grammar; informal writing style; repetition of the sentiments of the first sentence. Which 'people' is this referring to? This sentence could be removed entirely.


 * "over life and wellbeing, multiple movements" - Should be two sentences, not comma-separated.


 * "have arose philosophically" - Should be 'arisen'. The word 'philosophically' should be moved to 'philosophical movements', or removed.


 * "and include groups" - Should be ', including groups'.

'This is not a comprehensive list. The subsections after the one above also have similar issues.'

BadHorsie823 (talk) 14:54, 27 April 2022 (UTC)
 * ✅ First paragraph edited, feel free to offer more changes to subsequent paragraphs. Regards, Goldsztajn (talk) 23:50, 27 April 2022 (UTC)
 * Here's one in the caption for the picture of the dog eating trash:
 * "A dog forced to eat trash due to pollution, the Industrial Revolution has forced animals [...]"
 * Shouldn't that comma be either a period or a semicolon? Murphman03 (talk) 04:02, 19 August 2022 (UTC)

Proposed merge of Life in Great Britain during the Industrial Revolution into Industrial Revolution
Article is long unmaintained, so much so that a complete rewrite without references lasted for 10 months. Content is not distinct from the life social dynamics covered in the main article. There is probably room to merge this and content from that section (which is quite long) into one "Social impact of the industrial revolution" article. Sadads (talk) 22:26, 10 April 2022 (UTC)


 * Oppose Just because the Life in Great Britain during the Industrial Revolution article needs work is not a good reason to merge it here. Social topics should not be part of this article for a couple of reasons: 1) The Industrial Revolution was a technological and economic process and 2) Social issues are inherently political and that doesn't need to be in a history of technology article. AdvancedTechResearcher (talk) 20:42, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
 * I completley agree, I think they are 2 different articles.
 * Organic Increse45 (talk) 21:22, 15 August 2022 (UTC)


 * Oppose As per AdvancedTechResearcher. 2001:8003:9008:1301:799A:1738:90C2:7640 (talk) 12:06, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
 * Oppose as per AdvancedTechResearcher. Souliousery (talk) 09:50, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Oppose as per AdvancedTechResearcher. Life in Great Britain is a social topic, whereas the Industrial Revolution is a historical/technological topic. Furthermore, the Industrial Revolution concerns the whole globe, it's not exclusive to Great Britain. I oppose the merge and suggest that the two articles be kept separate. Wingwingwoom (talk) 17:39, 2 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Oppose i agree with the above oppositions, life in great britain during the industrial revolution covers more topics than need be discussed in the article concerning the industrial revolution itself. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 192.107.136.111 (talk) 16:20, 9 September 2022 (UTC)

Proposal is old and opposed. I removed the merge template banner from the article. – S. Rich (talk) 03:42, 14 September 2022 (UTC)

Glass Making
Why does the glass making section start with the sentence “ The glass was made in ancient Greece and Rome.” it makes no sense Coolcato (talk) 11:35, 27 September 2022 (UTC)
 * Fixed, thanks! Just plain Bill (talk) 12:28, 27 September 2022 (UTC)

Requested move 6 October 2022

 * The following is a closed discussion of a requested move. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section on the talk page. Editors desiring to contest the closing decision should consider a move review after discussing it on the closer's talk page. No further edits should be made to this discussion. 

The result of the move request was: not moved. (closed by non-admin page mover) Extraordinary Writ (talk) 00:40, 14 October 2022 (UTC)

Industrial Revolution → First Industrial Revolution – To clarify from other industrial revolutions, this should be retitled to avoid confusion. Interstellarity (talk) 18:26, 6 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Oppose. The first Industrial Revolution is the WP:PRIMARYTOPIC for the term "Industrial Revolution". |Second_Industrial_Revolution|The_Third_Industrial_Revolution|Fourth_Industrial_Revolution|Industrialisation|Third_industrial_age Pageview comparisons show that the first Industrial Revolution has by far the most trafficked page of any industrial revolution, and while its lead may be partly buoyed by holding the primary title, outgoing pageview stats suggest that very few readers end up here when trying to search for a different industrial revolution. "Industrial Revolution" alone is also the WP:COMMONNAME for the first Industrial Revolution, as indicated by the redirect pageviews, where the term "Industrial Revolution" gets 236 times as many daily pageviews as "First Industrial Revolution" does. ModernDayTrilobite (talk • contribs) 19:02, 6 October 2022 (UTC)


 * Oppose In everyday language and conversation "the industrial revolution" is known to mean the current topic of this article.  That is a qualitative statement, but ModernDT above has provided quantitative evidence (and I'm sure there is plenty more if one were to look at search engine results, book phrase mentions etc.).  So all I can say is that I would expect to come to this article and read on the exceptionally widely established historical revolution bearing this name, not on some more obscure (some might feel questionable) subsequent activities that have been labelled as such.  I'd encourage pagemoves to consult with the likely views of the Man on the Clapham omnibus, that would enlighten the likelihood of helping versus confusing in such requests. SFC9394 (talk) 20:24, 7 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Oppose per above comments. Let's not redefine history. Randy Kryn (talk) 06:26, 8 October 2022 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
 * Oppose. "Industrial Revolution" is the common and proper historical term for this era. Unburnable (talk) 01:56, 9 October 2022 (UTC)
 * Oppose. Clear primary topic and common name. -- Necrothesp (talk) 13:26, 12 October 2022 (UTC)

What happen really when the world revolution happen
The marxist concept of overthrowing capitalism in all countries through the conscious revolutionary action of the organized working class. For theorists, these revolutions will not necessarily occur simultaneously,but where and when local conditions allows a revolutionary party to successfully replace bourgeois owership of the means of production.In most marxist schools, such as trotskyism and communist left,the essentially international charater of the class struggle and the socialism in one country.He observes that the first information revolution was the inveention of writing 5 or 6 thousand years,ago originally in Mesopotamia,the second was the invention of books(scrolls),originally in china as early as 1300 B. C., and thr third,Gutenberg's invention of the printing press and movable type between 1450 and 1455.We know little about the first two Revolution, the cost and price reductions and the speed and extent of its spread were at least as great as those of the present, the fourth information revolution. 2409:4040:418:52D2:4DDC:E16A:2E3D:1451 (talk) 15:09, 10 September 2022 (UTC)


 * As the name states, this is about industrialization and how that occurred. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 47.187.29.189 (talk) 14:18, 25 November 2022 (UTC)

Grammar/Syntax Issue in Causes
"The Enclosure movement and the British Agricultural Revolution made food production more efficient and less labour-intensive, forcing the farmers who could no longer be self-sufficient in agriculture into cottage industry, for example weaving, and in the longer term into the cities and the newly developed factories. The colonial expansion of the 17th century with the accompanying development of international trade, creation of financial markets and accumulation of capital are also cited as factors, as is the scientific revolution of the 17th century. A change in marrying patterns to getting married later made people able to accumulate more human capital during their youth, thereby encouraging economic development."

In the last sentence the gerund phrase "getting married later" is dangling a bit without a subject, and "made" isn't the apt word here. Suggest either:

"A change in marrying patterns, with young people getting marrying later, allowed individuals to accumulate more human capital during their youth, thereby encouraging economic development."

Or, following E. M. Forster's advice to use concrete nouns and active verbs:

"Young people also began to marry later in life, making it possible for them to accumulate more human capital during youth, thereby encouraging economic development." 135.180.193.96 (talk) 23:38, 14 February 2023 (UTC)

History
why the goods produced called revolution 41.191.105.225 (talk) 17:03, 30 April 2023 (UTC)

Semi-protected edit request on 23 July 2023
Request to add Great Divergence under the section Industrial revolution economic division. 223.25.74.34 (talk) 14:05, 23 July 2023 (UTC)
 * Red question icon with gradient background.svg Not done: it's not clear what changes you want to be made. Please mention the specific changes in a "change X to Y" format and provide a reliable source if appropriate. Please be more precise on what you meant.  — Paper9oll  (🔔 • 📝)  14:32, 23 July 2023 (UTC)

Semi-protected edit request on 7 August 2023
Please change this short description to align with dates in the first sentence, unlike the Second Industrial Revolution article.

2001:4451:8209:7B00:A137:9947:4C2F:A9B (talk) 11:08, 7 August 2023 (UTC)
 * ✅  — Paper9oll  (🔔 • 📝)  13:37, 7 August 2023 (UTC)

Unnecessary detail in etymology
Due to this being a protected page I cannot edit the part of the etymology myself, therefore i created this talk.

In the third paragraph, unnecessary detail is given about the book such as the ISBN number. It seems like the citation is directly used in the text rather than through a footnote. If someone with access to this page can either view or edit this part. 145.90.131.222 (talk) 08:42, 19 May 2023 (UTC)


 * For clarification, do you mean that the ISBN is in the text? If so, it looks like it is fixed now. If you mean that the isbn appears during mouse over, I'd say that actually makes sense since it makes the text easier to find. Permareperterra (talk) 21:42, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
 * Apparently people didn't read paragraph 2 of the lede.

Semi-protected edit request on 4 September 2023
"when the adoption of the Industrial Revolution's early innovations, such as mechanized spinning and weaving, slowed and their markets matured" -> "when the adoption of the Industrial Revolution's early innovations, such as mechanized spinning and weaving, saturated while their markets matured." Rationale: it's a better word choice + better flow. The old sentence did not sufficiently explain why the adoption slowed down. The adoption rate of early innovations slowed down because most places already adopted them by 1840s. 2600:6C44:117F:95BE:F44F:AF3D:DB66:5E4D (talk) 02:18, 4 September 2023 (UTC)
 * I've gone with a change to "slowed as their markets matured" - the proposed change states that "adoption ... saturated", which doesn't really make sense. If you have an alternate suggestion I'd be happy to give it a look. Tollens (talk) 01:33, 14 September 2023 (UTC)

Incomplete Comparison
Under the heading "Important technological developments", second item (Steam Power), it states that "the efficiency of steam engines increased so that they used between one-fifth and one-tenth as much fuel." As compared to what? If this means as previously, then a date or date range to that previously needs to be given. Kmasters0 (talk) 06:03, 3 October 2023 (UTC)


 * When talking about increases in efficiency of steam engines, it is obvious that we are comparing it to previous steam engine designs. It should also be noted that there was so variability between engines of the same or similar type that even these differed in efficiency, with size being a factor. Also, new improvements were constantly being introduced. As far as dates, those are covered in the details section and should not be in the section summarizing technological developments. AdvancedTechResearcher (talk) 13:01, 2 November 2023 (UTC)

History
Describe the birth of the new industrial case 2409:40E0:26:E856:8000:0:0:0 (talk) 18:03, 17 November 2023 (UTC)

Social science class 7
In which country did the industrial revolution bargain 103.177.27.94 (talk) 14:10, 21 July 2023 (UTC)


 * It started in Britain, a fact that this article oddly tries to obscure. 88.109.170.68 (talk) 16:55, 2 November 2023 (UTC)
 * Paragraph 2 of the lede states that it started in Britain.AdvancedTechResearcher (talk) AdvancedTechResearcher (talk) 22:42, 2 November 2023 (UTC)
 * Should be in paragraph 1. 88.109.170.68 (talk) 00:09, 3 November 2023 (UTC)
 * in the early 1700 41.121.14.219 (talk) 18:10, 29 February 2024 (UTC)