Talk:Industrial Zen

Tags
I've added several tags to the article, mostly for fidelity to sourcing. I hope that the recent GA nominator or reviewer can address these. EddieHugh (talk) 11:18, 16 April 2017 (UTC)
 * Later... how did this pass as a GA? The sources can't have been checked: I've found problems with most of what I've looked at. It has the potential, but fidelity to sources is disastrous as it stands. EddieHugh (talk) 13:47, 16 April 2017 (UTC)
 * Disastrous? I don't think so... But I'd be happy to address any concerns you have. I'll go tag by tag to discuss this with you:
 * "amateur drummers" → this can easily be removed and I will remove it. It was more a title than anything; considering "English Jazz musician John McLaughlin", do I also have to cite that his citizenship is English and he is primarily a jazz musician? – No, it's just a broad statement.
 * "Yamaha keyboard" →
 * "English rock band Pink Floyd.[5][not in citation given]" → This was purely my mistake, it stated this in the AllMusic review and it looks like I left out the source.
 * "touching, conversational dialogue.[1][dubious – discuss]" → I reworded this so you can tell me if this better suits the source.
 * "sensitive" → this was in the Jazzwise review but I just removed it.
 * "Continuum and features bassist Hadrien Feraud" → I was careless and this was once again my error. It looks like I left out the AllMusic review (which backs this claim) on two occasions so I need to be more careful here.
 * "constant" → Well, ostinato is a sound that is constant but I removed it too.
 * "familiarities between the record and his music from the 1970s.[4][not in citation given]" → I thought this summarized nicely what was stated in the beginning of the AllMusic review but I will remove it. Carbrera (talk) 17:29, 16 April 2017 (UTC).
 * "and featured too much modern jazz music.[1][dubious – discuss]" → Actually I reverted my changes to this statement.
 * I also took care of a few other things that you mentioned in your edit history. I hope this appears better to you. Carbrera (talk) 17:41, 16 April 2017 (UTC).
 * Thanks for the swift changes. "Amateur" is close to derogatory in musical circles. Good point on "ostinato", although it renders "constant" redundant. It's much better now. I removed 2 refs that weren't the best for what was left and made another couple of changes. It's easy to get sources mixed up; I've done it plenty of times. I used to put single words in quotation marks, too, but was told that it really wasn't necessary... unless it's something unusual or otherwise noteworthy, I either change to a synonym or use the original word. EddieHugh (talk) 18:41, 16 April 2017 (UTC)
 * Thank you. Glad this could be cleared up. Carbrera (talk) 18:42, 16 April 2017 (UTC).
 * Thank you for raising these concerns, and I apologize for missing them in my review. Aoba47 (talk) 00:33, 17 April 2017 (UTC)