Talk:Industry Bar/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Gerald Waldo Luis (talk · contribs) 04:54, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

I was like Whaaa... you can have two people nominate? Anyways, I'll be reviewing this article.  Gerald WL  04:54, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks! --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 05:18, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks x 2! Armadillo  pteryx  05:31, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

Lead

 * Link LGBT community at "crowd of young gay men and tourists"?  Gerald WL  06:43, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , I would not necessarily equate "gay men and tourists" with "LGBT community". --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 14:31, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Hyphens between "internationally" and "recognized"?  Gerald WL  06:43, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 14:32, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I reverted this change, because it is a violation of MOS:HYPHEN, which says: "Avoid using a hyphen after a standard -ly adverb (a newly available home, a wholly owned subsidiary) unless part of a larger compound (a slowly-but-surely strategy)." Armadillo  pteryx  15:10, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks! -- Another Believer ( Talk ) 15:11, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , thanks for alerting about MOS!  Gerald WL  02:48, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Link nightlife?  Gerald WL  06:43, 9 December 2020 (UTC)

Description

 * Link nightclub?  Gerald WL  06:43, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 14:32, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Link fort or anything similar?  Gerald WL  06:43, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 14:34, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * "pockets that break loose..." What do you mean "pockets"?  Gerald WL  06:43, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , To me, the description is just saying the interior has different spaces for people to gather. I don't think any links are necessary or particularly helpful here. --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 14:40, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Yyyyeah, I mean it has attribution already. Another daily dose of random challenges readers get to do.  Gerald WL  02:48, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

I'll have to spend some time for TV with my fam. I'll come back later with more stuff (as expected).  Gerald WL  06:44, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , Thanks for your many reviews of restaurant/bar GA nominations. I have a couple more in the queue and I hope you will consider reviewing Armadillopteryx's other nominations as well. --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 15:07, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , thanks, I love doing these stuffs. I will be semi-active until Friday ICT cause of stuff, but concluding this week is Decem-freaking-ber, so I'll be able to do more nominations... if I can.  Gerald WL  02:57, 10 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Unrelated sidenote: Is anyone else watching the GAN page and eating popcorn as Legobot lists this article as on review for the 49th time? Armadillo  pteryx  21:26, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , You really do make a terrible robotic being. And I mean that as a compliment.  Gerald WL  02:52, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Aww, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all day  Armadillo  pteryx  02:55, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

Second check

 * Link billiard table? (I miss playing that on Christmas, sadly this goddamn pandemic--)  Gerald WL  04:03, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I don't feel too strongly about this, but it would create a MOS:SEAOFBLUE since rococo is linked right next to it. Armadillo  pteryx  04:12, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Link Manhattan?  Gerald WL  04:03, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ Armadillo  pteryx  04:12, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Link tank top?  Gerald WL  04:03, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Again, I don't feel too strongly, but since that word isn't a point of focus or substance of the sentence, I'm not sure it's necessary. It reminds me of the fourth bullet in MOS:COMMONWORDS. I'll link it if you have a strong preference, though. Armadillo  pteryx  04:12, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , yeah I'm not too strong on that.  Gerald WL  04:27, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Link paper lantern? Hmmm, what is wished in that lantern, Industry?  Gerald WL  04:03, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ Armadillo  pteryx  04:12, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

History

 * 5 statements using multiple citations, one of which is overkill. Any way to treat them?  Gerald WL  03:36, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I removed one citation from the sentence that had three; now every sentence has only one or two. Armadillo  pteryx  03:48, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Link landlord?  Gerald WL  03:36, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ Armadillo  pteryx  03:48, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * What is a rotating cast? Like, replacable casts as said in this forum?  Gerald WL  03:36, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * It means that there's a pool of performers (say, 10) from which a few (say, 4) are chosen every week. The lineup changes a little bit from week to week, but it's always from he same group of people. Armadillo  pteryx  03:48, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , thanks for clarifying!  Gerald WL  03:53, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Reception

 * Link New York (magazine)? Seems like it hasn't.  Gerald WL  03:36, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * It's linked in the Description section (but actually, it was linked on the second mention, so I've switched it to the first). Armadillo  pteryx  03:52, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Whilst searching "midown," I got the result of Midtown Manhattan. Is it referring to Midtown? If so, it must be fixed with square brackets.  Gerald WL  03:36, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes, and thanks for catching the typo! I've added the Wikilink and fixed the spelling. Per WP:SIC, simple typographical errors can simply be fixed: insignificant spelling and typographic errors should simply be silently corrected (for example, correct "basicly" to "basically"). Armadillo  pteryx  03:52, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * (How many policies do I still haven't read wow)  Gerald WL  04:08, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * "He stated" is getting a bit bland here. Suggest changing to "He opined"  Gerald WL  03:36, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * That's one option... I thought that maybe "remarked" sounded good and added that. Do you think that's okay? Armadillo  pteryx  03:52, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , that sounds chic.  Gerald WL  03:54, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Armadillo pteryx  03:59, 11 December 2020 (UTC)

Final thoughts
, I did a final edit, see if that's fine for you. Overall this has the GA criteria in my view. Waiting for your response, then I'll close this review page.  Gerald WL  04:56, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Mm... I'm not sure how necessary it is, since the History section begins with the story of the owners opening Barracuda. What do you think? Armadillo  pteryx  05:01, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , Maybe the issue is we mention Barracuda in the Description section before readers get to the History section? --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 05:07, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I think, ideally, we'd have a passing mention of ownership before we compare Barracuda and Industry Bar, so that the Notes section is not required. --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 05:09, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * That sounds ideal. Removing Bara mention in Description would be a good implementation.  Gerald WL  05:11, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I mean, I guess, sure—but it's worth noting that the mention in question is wikilinked. I'll go take a look at it. Armadillo  pteryx  05:15, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , Your change works for me! --- Another Believer ( Talk ) 05:19, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Cool, thanks! I basically just followed Gerald's suggestion to simply cut out that part of the quote; now Barracuda's first mention in the body doesn't come until the History section. Armadillo  pteryx  05:21, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
 * , seems to be fine now, Comrades. The green circle should be up soon after I'm having lunch as New York's in the dark.  Gerald WL  (Pine wish!) 05:38, 11 December 2020 (UTC)