Talk:Inequality in Germany

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Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 22:58, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
Roger, This is a good start. You might look at this article as a model for Germany https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Income_inequality_in_the_United_States

Also, I would use sources found in peer-reviewed journal articles or books rather than the World Socialist Website. The paragraphs are very rough drafts and need significant copy editing. Words are missing and there are number of punctuation issues. This is something that's going to be read by anyone. Here are a few more sources: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-4991.1996.tb00142.x/abstract http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1094202509000532 http://inequalitywatch.eu/spip.php?article114&lang=fr http://www.voxeu.org/epubs/cepr-reports/german-income-inequality Mcassell04 (talk) 10:54, 13 October 2015 (UTC)

Substantively, I think this is good. However, the structure to the writing is a little awkward at times and needs revision. It did not feel like a Wikipedia article structurally. All things considered, I think the number of sources you've cited already is a good indicator of material on the topic. AustinMcCrea (talk) 03:24, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

Looking at previous comments, I would like to agree with what has already been said. Some of the sentence structure is a little awkward to read at times. However, I do like the way the material is presented. You follow all of the Wikipedia guidelines and have a great start to the article! I would also say, do not be afraid to hyperlink different subjects. If you look at the suggested Income Inequality in the United States as mentioned previously, they have a lot of words hyperlinked, so even if you think it may be excessive, do not be afraid to continue to do so! Finally, as mentioned before, I would look for more peer reviewed articles. I think what you have is a great start for information and structure, and now you need to go a little more in depth with deeper information.Kyle McClain Kent (talk) 17:22, 12 November 2015 (UTC)

This is a great start to an article and the Wikipedia guidelines appear to be followed, good job! I would suggest adding a subsection titled "household inequality". I also would suggest changing "income and wealth" and making it "economic inequality". I think you may be able to have a wider spectrum of analysis by doing so. I think it may also be useful to have information that explains Germany's role in global inequality or at least it in comparison to other countries.--Jfords25 (talk) 06:09, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

Rewrite 2016-05-03
I rewrote the article to follow a more encylopaedic style of writing. I also found that in general, the writing was quite biased, with certain sentences taking their sources out of context, or drawing conclusions from sources not made by those sources. I also felt that social inequality deserved a separate section. That said, the social inequality section still needs rewriting; racism by small extremist groups is not really social inequality, which is more about income divides, divides in general living conditions, etc. stratified by ethnicity. It is worth noting that Wikipedia articles should not attempt to draw their own conclusions from sources, instead presenting the information in a way that allows the reader to do that themselves, regardless of which conclusion they may come to. Kookas (talk) 22:51, 3 May 2017 (UTC)