Talk:Infantilism/workshop

Paraphilic infantilism is the desire to wear diapers and be treated as a helpless infant. One who engages in infantilistic play is known as an adult baby (AB). Adult babies and diaper fetishists (diaper lovers or DLs) are collectively known by the acronym AB/DL. The majority of known infantilists are heterosexual males.

Contrasted with Diaper Fetishes
The easiest way to describe paraphilic infantilism is to contrast it with a diaper fetish, and this contrast is most clear in fantasies. Although there is no typical AB/DL fantasy, they often fall within two extremes. One extreme involves the fantasy of being an infant or small child; adorable, sexually innocent, and powerless. The infant fantasy might involve diapers, baby clothes, and toys to help define the infant's role, as costume and props. In the end, the infant might drift off to sleep in a soft crib. On the other extreme is the erotic lover. The lover fantasy would focus on diapers as fetish items, sexually charged objects. The lover fantasy would end in orgasm and ejaculation.

Most who have these fantasies often do not seek psychotherapy. According to the American Psychiatric Association, if there is significant distress or impairment for a period of over six months, paraphilic infantilism or fetishism might be diagnosed, depending on the focus. The urges and fantasies caused by diaper fetishes focus on the diapers themselves, while infantilism focuses on becoming a baby. (Please note that many published cases are only tangentially related and should not be confused with the basic paraphilias .)

In practice, the distinction is between the two is much narrower; both involve diapers and adults. Those who try to act out the infant fantasy or similar ones are called Adult Babies (ABs). This may involve adult sized diapers and baby clothes, etc. If their partner is willing, they may engage in mother/baby roleplay. The adult baby may choose not to engage in sex while they are in the baby role, since it isn't babylike. In contrast, diaper fetishes are much more practical. They may involve adding diapers to otherwise ordinary sexual activities. Those who do are called Diaper Lovers (DLs). Neither are AB practices exclusive to paraphilic infantilists, nor DL practices exclusive to diaper fetishists. Many AB/DLs describe themselves as 'mostly AB' or 'mostly DL,' based on which they engage in more frequently. Those with urophilia and coprophilia may enjoy similar practices.

Pedophilia
Confusing infantilism with pedophilia is a common misunderstanding. Pedophilia is a sexual preference for children. In contrast, infantilists have a desire to be infants themselves, and those with a diaper fetish have a sexual interest in diapers. Generally, they have ordinary heterosexual or homosexual sexual experiences otherwise.

Other infantilisms
'Paraphilic infantilism' is usually shortened to 'infantilism.' This can lead to some misunderstandings, since 'infantilism' can also mean 'lacking development.' Mental retardation involves never having achieved an average maturity, in contrast to adult babies, who actively set their maturity aside. In turn, psychosexual infantilism, a term coined by Freud, referred to those who haven't "matured" through the psychosexual stages into heterosexuality. Psychosexual infantilism includes paraphilic infantilism as well as other paraphilias and sexual orientations. Finally, regression is a broad term with many meanings. ABs regress, but those who regress aren't necessarily ABs.

Practical or voluntary use
Those who wear diapers because of incontinence probably not AB/DLs. While they may wear and use diapers, they aren’t necessarily doing it to express an alternate self-image or indulge a fetish. This also applies to those who use diapers for practical reasons, such as astronauts, scuba divers, and sadomasochists. Finally, there are some who start wearing diapers as a "new kink."

There are many that wear diapers but are not paraphilic infantilists or diaper fetishists in the strictest sense. Their motivations and underlying mechanisms are different. However, those who share AB/DL interests and practices are generally welcome in the communities, and may sometimes be counted as AB/DLs.

Coercion
Force or coercion is sometimes present in AB/DL fantasies.

Identification
AB/DLs may enjoy looking at pictures showing who they want to be, as opposed to who they want to be with. For example, a heterosexual male adult baby may enjoy looking at pictures of men in diapers: he may be imagining himself as the men in the diapers.

Permanent regression
A common fantasy among adult babies involves a permanent return to a more baby like position. This may involve being put back in diapers or returned to the nursery for the rest of their life. These fantasies may be enjoyed even by ABs who are consciously aware that they would not want to give up their adult lives.

Exhibitionism
Modesty and self-consciousness are not expected from infants and small children. Babies can be out in public in just a diaper and t-shirt, and can have their diaper changed in public. Adult Babies cannot legally do these things, but may fantasize about them.

Integrating other interests
The individual AB/DL may have other interests that have become integrated with AB/DL. For example, a sissy baby has an integrated infantilism and transvestism. In turn, a babyfur has an integrated infantilism and furry fandom. Sissys and babyfurs are among many groups resulting from the integration of side-interests with infantilism. The combinations can themselves be combined in countless ways. For example, there are sissy babyfurs.

Practices
Aside from the many things that AB/DLs would like to do, but cannot, there is an extensive list of practices that they might actually engage in. Some common elements and practices are listed here.

Diaper usage
A central practice to AB/DL is wearing a diaper. When wearing diapers, many AB/DLs like to urinate in them, and a smaller number like to defecate in them. Others do not because they find it gross, do not enjoy it, do not want to go through the cleanup afterwards, or are not in a place where their actions won't being obvious. Some AB/DLs have difficulty wetting their diapers when they want to, as the result of overtrained bladders or paruresis.

A common compromise between wanting to wear diapers and needing to go about daily life is to wear diapers under normal clothing. While ABs do this, they would do so in their everyday mindset, as opposed to an infantile one. A few adult babies wear diapers all the time, and may seek to develop urinary incontinence. The level enjoyment of wearing diapers all the time is mixed, and it may have lasting effects. In contrast, other AB/DLs enjoy wearing diapers intermittently more than they would enjoy wearing them all the time.

Coming out
A difficult choice that AB/DLs must make involves who to tell about their interests. This offers the possibility of being accepted for who they are, and not having to hide. However, it also includes the risk of disgrace at home, school, and work.

Finding a "mommy" or "daddy"
A difficult part of life as an AB/DL is finding a compatible spouse. For DLs, the search is difficult because there are few DLs in the general population. For ABs, the search is harder still because there is no clear counterpart. That is, while there is a set of urges driving some adults to be babied, there is not a matching set of urges driving others to baby adults. Female AB/DLs are not necessarily willing to be mommies. Some AB/DLs are willing to be 'switch' mommies or daddies. Infantilism should be discussed with one's spouse before marriage.

For DLs, there are some prostitutes willing to partake in diaper play. For ABs, there are professional "adult babysitters."