Talk:Irene Parlby/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Edwininlondon (talk · contribs) 12:21, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

I'm happy to review this, with the caveat that I am not a subject matter expert. It looks like an interesting article. Review soon. Edwininlondon (talk) 12:21, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

Prose
Overall good quality. Coverage is good. Just a few comments:
 * I'm not so sure about the section headers: Early life and Personal life don't sit so well together, as the later surely includes the former. One alternative to consider is to take the first bit of Personal life and put it into its chronological place at the end of Early life and put the bit about her death into the Legacy section, renamed Death and legacy.


 * Parlby was born on --> I think it should start with "Mary Irene Marryat was born on .." and then explcitly mention the name change upon marriage.   There is some guidance on names here: MOS:CHANGEDNAME And here are some examples of articles with a name change: Bronwyn Oliver and Zelda Fitzgerald. What is a bit unusual here in this article is that you have her marriage all the way at the end. More common is to have things in chronological order as per MOS:CHRONO.
 * ✅ changed to "Parlby was born Mary Irene Marryat on ..." similar to the style of Bronwyn Oliver


 * The Marryats were one of the oldest families in the country --> that is quite a statement! I wonder how one would determine that. Perhaps when only looking at those people for whom records were kept. Do we need this statement? Can we rephrase it such that it is less controversial and still conveys what you want to convey? The source says the family came with William the Conquerer, that might be better to use than the "one of the oldest"
 * ✅ removed that statement entirely, probably half of England is descended from William the Conqueror so it's not that relevant


 * country names usually are not linked, see MOS:OVERLINK


 * they were taught --> the children were taught


 * became the first local of the UFWA --> is there a word missing after local?
 * Per the definition of local: "a local branch of an organization, especially a labor union."
 * On second thought, I've changed it to "local branch" as that will probably make more sense to readers


 * including fellow Famous Five members Emily Murphy and Nellie McClung --> no first names and no links, as they have already been introduced


 * The Act disproportionately affected socially vulnerable people, including those of females and young adults --> not sure what you mean here: children of females and young adults?
 * ✅ changed to "... including females and young adults."


 * honorary senators." --> honorary senators". as per MOS:INOROUT


 * In 2000, --> is there a reason why these legacy items (2009, 2000, 1966, 1997, 1935) are not in chronological order starting with the earliest?


 * In May 1966, Irene Parlby --> just Parlby, no irene

Media
Well illustrated. Rights ok.
 * Board of Directors of the United Farmers of Alberta in 1919. Parlby is third from the right on the bottom row --> perhaps link United Farmers of Alberta


 * Caucus of the United Farmers of Alberta in 1921. --> no full stop if caption is not a full sentence


 * Statue of Irene Parlby in Calgary, Alberta --> consider adding it is part of a group of statues, of the Famouse Five