Talk:Irrigation in Peru/GA1

GA Review
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I'm going to ask for a second opinion on this. I've worked on some MoS stuff, but I want to make sure all of the dash work and the non-breaking spaces are all in order. Also, there are a few things that still need work before it can pass. Below are some recommendations. :) Intothewoods29 (talk) 21:21, 11 August 2008 (UTC)


 * The lead should probably be three paragraphs since the article is so long.
 * First sentence: expected by whom?
 * "creating very different realities" (from Lead). Is there another word that could be used instead of realities? picky picky ;)
 * In relevance, you say "Agriculture employs 30% of Peru's population..." Agriculture is a concept; it cannot pay people. Maybe consider changing your choice of words. again, picky picky... :)
 * Also in relevance, you write "High-value crops and irrigation technology have had a major impact on the Costa's rural development". Is that supposed to be Coast's? If it is, it shouldn't be capitalized.
 * The picture in Irrigation Infrastructure needs author information.
 * in Institutional Development you say "From 1945 to 1948, the Government approved a National Plan for Improving Irrigation". I the National Plan a specific agenda? if it is, then it should be in quotes or italics. if not, it shouldn't be capitalized. check capitalization in the whole article too.
 * same thing for "10-year National Irrigation Strategy" in Legal Framework
 * In Possible Climate Change, you need a second parenthesis in "The Andean Community (CAN estimates that climate change will cause US$30,000 million in losses or 4,5% of the GDP annually starting in 2025.(La Republica)"
 * Why is the last section entitled Annex 1?

Second Opinion Comments
Hello! I've taken a run through the article, and there are several things that I'd like to see changed before this article becomes GA.


 * External links are not supposed to be placed in the actual text of the article, as they are in the "Institutional framework" and "Possible climate change impacts on irrigated agriculture" sections. Instead, they should be incorporated into the references, or added to the external links section at the bottom of the article.
 * Many of the section and subsection titles are extremely long. Please try to shorten as many of them as you can.  For example, "Farmers/organizations and on-farm water management" could probably be shortened to "Water management".
 * In the "Institutional framework" section, there should be no bolded words or acronyms.
 * Per MOS, images should be staggered left and right to improve article flow.
 * There are several areas where references are needed:
 * In "Institutional development", the last sentences of the first, second and fourth paragraphs.
 * In "Relevance of irrigation for agriculture and rural development", the last three sentences of the first paragraph.
 * In "Irrigation infrastructure", the last sentences in the second and fourth paragraphs, and the entire fifth paragraph.
 * In "Institutional framework", the last sentences of all three paragraphs.
 * In "Farmers/organizations and on-farm water management", the last two sentences of the second paragraph.
 * In "National irrigation strategy", the last two sentences of the second paragraph.
 * In "Lessons learned from the Peruvian model", the first paragraph and the last two sentences of the last paragraph.
 * Non-breaking spaces (see MOSNUM) should be added between numbers and units.
 * The lede (see WP:Lede) should be at least three solid paragraphs for an article this size.
 * There are many sections/subsections, including (but not limited to) "Agricultural land under irrigation/past and present trends", "Irrigation infrastructure" and "Legal framework", where there are many extremely short paragraphs. These little bits can be combined into larger paragraphs for easier reading and article flow.

Due to the number of things I have listed above, I have not done a complete review of the prose. Once the issues above are resolved, I will go back through the article and mention any qualms I have about grammar, sentence structure and the like. If you have questions, I can be contacted here on the review page (I have it watchlisted) or on my talk page. Dana boomer (talk) 14:32, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

Reviewers
Dear Reviewers, Thank you very much for taking the time to review this article. I have incorporated most of your comments and will continue to do so in the next few days. I will give you the heads up when it is ready for a second round. Thank you very much --anunezsanchez (talk) 19:07, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

Shortening Titles
I took some time to read the article and the reviews, and here are some recommendations for the shortening of the titles. The symbol " -> " shows the recommended change and the words included in the parenthesis "" give a reason to some of them:

Contents 1 History of the irrigation sector -> History (We know the article's history deals with the irrigation sector) 1.1 Agricultural land under irrigation/past and present trends -> Past and present irrigation trends 1.2 Institutional development 2 Relevance of irrigation for agriculture and rural development -> Relevance in development (We know it's irrigation and that it has to do with agriculture) 3 Irrigation development 3.1 Irrigation infrastructure 3.2 Linkages with water resources 3.3 Environmental impacts of irrigation 4 Legal and institutional framework 4.1 Legal framework 4.2 Institutional framework 4.3 Farmers/organizations and on-farm water management -> Organizations and water management 5 National irrigation strategy 6 Economics 6.1 Water tariff and cost recovery 6.2 Investment and financing 6.3 External cooperation 7 Possible climate change impacts on irrigated agriculture -> Possible climate change impacts 8 Lessons learned from the Peruvian model 9 See also 10 Cited References 11 External links 12 WikiProject Irrigation by Country

-MarshalN20 (talk) 19:48, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

Fail
Sigh... I hate to do this, but since there has been no work on the article by the nominator since the 11th, I'm going to fail this (on the humble advice of Dana Boomer) and remove it from WP:GAN. Sorry. Feel free to renominate this when you're ready. <:) Intothewoods29 (talk) 15:21, 25 August 2008 (UTC)