Talk:Islam: The Untold Story/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 03:02, 20 December 2012 (UTC)

I'll be glad to take this review. I'll do a close read of the article over the next day or two, noting any initial issues I see here that I can't immediately fix. I'll then begin the formal checklist of the criteria. Looking forward to working with you, -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:02, 20 December 2012 (UTC)

First readthrough

 * "Persian Fire: The First World Empire and the Battle for the West (2005), and Millennium: The End of the World and the Forging of Christendom" --you might consider adding redlinks for these per WP:REDLINK. As bestsellers, it seems extremely likely that they meet our notability criteria. This isn't a factor for the GA Review either way, though.
 * "both Professor Seyyed Hossein Nasr, a practising Muslim who teaches Islamic studies at the George Washington University, Washington D.C., and Dr. Patricia Crone," -- going from their Wiki articles, Nasr and Crone appear to both be professors with PhDs; it would be best to call them both professor or both "Dr."
 * "attention-seeking, neo-Conservative, Niall Ferguson lookalike" -- This isn't a factor for a GA Review, but note that the MOS all but forbids wls in quotations at MOS:QUOTE.
 * "exclaimed " -- Crace doesn't seem to literally exclaim this (using an exclamation point or otherwise indicating great excitement); a better word should be found.
 * "exclaimed" x 2 -- Same for Zaidi-Jivraj.
 * "have a negative reaction on" -- is the meaning here that Muslims would have a negative reaction? Or that the doc would add to negative public perception of Muslims?
 * "American-made short film Innocence of Muslims" -- "American-made" may be overstating this slightly; it was made in America by an Egyptian citizen.
 * "would describe", "She would furthermore argue" -- I'm not sure why this tense is being used. Do you mean this is what she intended to say if allowed to attend the event? (Perhaps use "in her talk, she had planned to describe" or some such language) -- Khazar2 (talk) 16:54, 20 December 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks very much for undertaking this review Khazar! I've made changes to all but one of your points. Best. Midnightblueowl (talk) 19:28, 22 December 2012 (UTC)