Talk:Itachi Uchiha/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: DragonZero (talk · contribs) 10:16, 14 April 2013 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria


 * 1) Is it reasonably well written?
 * A. Prose quality:
 * B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
 * 1) Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
 * A. Has an appropriate reference section:
 * B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
 * C. No original research:
 * 1) Is it broad in its coverage?
 * A. Major aspects:
 * B. Focused:
 * 1) Is it neutral?
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Passing. There's still room to improve concision though. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 09:29, 30 April 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) Is it stable?
 * No edit wars, etc:
 * 1) Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
 * A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
 * B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Passing. There's still room to improve concision though. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 09:29, 30 April 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass or Fail:
 * Passing. There's still room to improve concision though. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 09:29, 30 April 2013 (UTC)

Issues

 * The prose in the "In Naruto" section is overly detailed and lacks concision. There are also issues of time jumping. An easier solution would be to write the plot per WP:TENSE. Disregard the flow of the story and instead write it according to the character's timeline. I will do a closer check on the prose once this has been rewritten and squished down completely.
 * "For his brother's protection, he also threatened to share everything he knew about the village to its enemies in case if the village ever harms Sasuke." Useless lead sentence.
 * Consistent dating in refs.
 * Concision improved. I wasn't clear on what I mean by time jumping, my mistake. What I mean was something like the sentence here, "After Itachi's death in Part II, this entire visit to Konoha is revealed to have only been to make sure that the Third's death did not allow the Elders of Konoha to hurt or kill Sasuke.", breaks the flow and can make it hard for readers to follow. Try reorganizing the plot so it begins right at the beginning of Itachi's past; As if the plot followed him and there was no "reveal" after the death. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 09:02, 22 April 2013 (UTC)
 * I can not keep this open forever. Please update me if progress will be made. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 10:33, 25 April 2013 (UTC)
 * My sincere apologies for the delay. My dad suffered a cardiac arrest recently and I wasn't getting time for internet and other things.  Vikipedian talk  stalk  04:18, 26 April 2013 (UTC)
 * Oh, what I mean was it can be kept open if progress is still being made. If it were to become inactive, I'd have to close it. DragonZero  ( Talk  ·  Contribs ) 08:48, 26 April 2013 (UTC)


 * "Over time, however, Itachi began to distance himself from the clan, and remains consistently hostile towards Sasuke." Is the order here mistaken? I think he begins distancing when they began planning the coup'de etat.
 * Link Kisame when he is first mentioned.
 * The second paragraph is inconsistent. It first describes his intrusion to Konoha and his battle with Kakashi, his relationship with Kisame, then back to his intrusion of Konoha.
 * "Itachi is extremely loyal to Akatsuki, trying to have Kakashi Hatake disposed of for knowing something about the secretive organization." He's a double agent so this is contradicting.
 * "After his death, he is revealed to have given some of his power in the form of a crow infused with Shisui Uchiha's eye that entered the boy's mouth to remain there until Sasuke attempts to attack Konoha, emerging to compel the younger brother with a Sharingan-based command to protect the village." Why not just say Itachi gives Naruto a crow with Shisui Uchiha's sharingan to subliminally control Sasuke to... Something along those lines. The readers probably don't need to know its in Naruto's mouth and will come out later.
 * "Amaterasu" technique. Don't link it to the god, link it to Jutsu (Naruto).
 * "meant as a fail-safe that would kill Tobi in case he ever approached Sasuke." Vague. Don't forget to link Tobi.
 * "Izanami". Readers won't know what it is. Explain it the first time its introduced.
 * "he is also the only Uchiha capable of using "Izanami"" Don't need to know this
 * Since "Impure World Reincarnation Jutsu" is mentioned in the plot summary, you need to mention at the beginning Itachi was revived for that in order for readers to understand why he starts to "fade".
 * Itachi appears in Clash of Ninja and Ultimate Ninja. Why is this fact repeated with "Itachi has also been featured in the video game sets of Naruto Shippūden: Gekitou Ninja Taisen EX and Naruto Shippūden: Narutimate Accel."; but this time with its Japanese names.
 * Have I fixed the issues properly? Thanks for the review :)  Vikipedian talk  stalk  06:49, 29 April 2013 (UTC)


 * Link Naruto Uzumaki at first mention
 * The Third Hokage was introduced as a protector, then refereed to as the third later on. Confusing for readers.
 * I think you can remove " Itachi being a member of Akatsuki, also tries to have Kakashi Hatake disposed of for knowing something about the secretive organization. He is also shown taunting Kakashi for not being as strong as he is, but never arrogant." as "After drawing the attention of Konoha's forces " covers that.
 * Link Killer Bee
 * Izanagi does not need to be mentioned on Izanami.
 * Done.  Vikipedian talk  stalk  11:39, 29 April 2013 (UTC)

Minor Issues

 * |lead=yes in Nihongo template
 * Fix URL redirects (IGN and Amazon, etc). You can find them here.
 * Check the ref named cold. What's going on here? Why is there a link between the
 * Same with sci-fi ninja ref in Reception.
 * Spaces between ref for easier navigation. An example would be what I've done at Tales of Symphonia.
 * Use Template:Multiple image for sharingan. Cut back on description. You have Sharingan linked so. Use something like "Itachi's Sharingan (above) and Mangekyo Sharingan (below)" to caption the multiple image.