Talk:Jacobello del Fiore

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Realcjcruz. Peer reviewers: HannahPark0709, Atsushi Hu.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:14, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Untitled
1) This article could include more specifics about Fiore's upbringing. 2) This article could showcase more examples of Fiore's work.

Realcjcruz (talk) 07:10, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Andrewworkman. Peer reviewers: Bradyjj25.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 01:00, 17 January 2022 (UTC)

Atsushi Hu's review and comments
This entry has already covered a quite substantial amount of information about Jacobello del Fiore. I like the fact that CJ actually links this entry to other wikipedia pages, since many of the terms are quite difficult to understand. This entry is well cited.

Structure In my opinion, I believe that the artistic development of the artist, from early period to latter life, should be under the same big section. Sometimes you also incorporate major works to the artistic development, but I guess maybe you would like to have a separate section on the major work of this artist? You might also want to separate legacy and "latter works and final years"

Content and language You might want to look into the grammar, specially the tenses. Sometimes past tense is more appropriate than present tense. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Atsushi Hu (talk • contribs) 13:08, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

Hannah Park's review comments
I think, especially in the lead section, the tone of your writing can come off to others as a little poetic or fluffed up. Terms such as "steeped in" can easily be corrected to a more concise and neutral term. There are a few sentences here and there that could use a little more grammatical precision: ''He is known for his youthful career steeped in the Late Gothic style popularized by Altichiero da Verona and Jacopo Avanzi, and his later mature work that returned to a local Venetian style established by the school of Paolo Veneziano. ''. Also, especially in the lead section, I think it might be better not to start sentences with "this". The lead section is what people will most of the time only read, hence it is good to make sure every sentence is precise and explicit. I think it might also be helpful to readers to address some of his notable works in the lead section.

Most of the comments I have to offer for the lead section can be applied to the rest of the article. I think just be careful and make sure your tone is as direct and neutral as possible. Be careful of where the commas are placed in the sentences because they can really make the whole sentence grammatically incorrect. example: first sentence of early life and works: ''Jacobello is likely to have been born in 1375, since by the time of his marriage in 1394, he was still under the tutelage of his father, Francesco del Fiore. . In this paragraph, don't use colons if it is really not needed- Francesco was a painter himself: in 1376 ''. Lastly, be careful with your prepositions. Some examples are "Dated in 1407" compared to "Dated to 1407". These prepositions can make a huge difference in the overall quality of the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by HannahPark0709 (talk • contribs) 13:44, 7 November 2017 (UTC)