Talk:Jacquetta Hawkes

Forthcoming biography
Ice Without, Fire Within: A Life of Jacquetta Hawkes by Christine Finn, set to be published later this year, looks like it will be a useful source for this article. –&#8239;Joe (talk) 07:53, 10 June 2020 (UTC)
 * , an update from the publisher says that its publication has been cancelled Lajmmoore (talk) 07:47, 26 September 2021 (UTC)

Over the top
Hawkes and Priestley remained physically, emotionally and intellectually close until their deaths.
 * Referenced, yes, but a bit OTT in my view. I think we might settle for ‘Many noted that it was a deeply fulfilling union.’ Valetude (talk) 18:59, 27 August 2020 (UTC)

Thoughts towards improvement
Career would benefit from being split into sub-sections. There's an unresolved cn tag. What's going on with FN 47? Looks to generally be in good shape, I'll look some more on the morrow Eddie891 Talk Work 00:30, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks I've added some sections, changed fn 47 (I don't what happened to that one either!) and added some clarifications. I've made a note of the exisiting CN tag (I put that there to remind me as the text was already in the article, but unferences), I'm struggling to access this article https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/carnal-knowledge-tlmgjvq0hlj as I think it might give context for her memoir. Thanks for looking it over so quickly to start with, much appreciated! Lajmmoore (talk) 08:45, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
 * @Lajmmoore have you asked at WP:REX for access? Someone would likely be able to send it over Eddie891 Talk Work 20:40, 28 September 2021 (UTC)

WiG mini-review

 * coming here from the request at the WiG meetup/October editathon. I see has flagged a number of issues already.  My immediate reaction is it is definitely not a quick fail and I would consider it a strong nomination. My main immediate concerns would be (a) per WP:MOSLEAD the lead needs to be a more complete summary of the entire article (at present, somewhat more than one-third is listing her publication titles), (b) Why is her marriage to J B Priestly a subsection of her career? (I understand they were collaborators) ... it might be better to simply convert all these to sections themselves (c) this stood out regarding A Quest for Love: "Perhaps the least popular of her works" ... but the reference is to a contemporaneous single review from 1981; ideally should have a reference here which is assessing her works overall (d) there are two citations from "100 Objects from Special Collections at the University of Bradford" which is a wordpress blog; I assume there is no alternative for these?  In my case as a reviewer I would probably accept these if there is no alternative and they are very necessary for the article; but another reviewer might question their reliability (which is reasonable to question in the case of a Wordpress site which for Wikipedia purposes is classified as self-published and hence unreliable) (e) her role in the CND is given very short attention; given she was a founder, a founder of Women CND and in the initial leadership, given the significance of the organisation to British politics during the Cold War there should be some more of her role (f) she was active in campaigning for the decriminalisation of gay sex through the Homosexual Law Reform Society, this should be included.  Hope this was helpful, I'll mark the mini review as complete. Regards, --Goldsztajn (talk) 12:26, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
 * FM-2019-1-6-4-26--Niggl-Radloff-B-John-B-Priestley-Jacquetta-Hawkes-ONLINE.jpglent image available on commons to use and the Creative Commons licence is correct. Regards, --Goldsztajn (talk) 12:43, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
 * This is SUPER HELPFUL. Thank you very much - I'll address the points you raise over the next week or so, then submit it into the GA Women in Green page. Lajmmoore (talk) 17:16, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Thanks - I've looked at each point in turn:
 * a) Lead - removed the list of publications and created a better summary of the article. Leads aren't my strong point, so pointers are very much appreciated.
 * b) Headings - done as per your suggestion.
 * c) A Quest for Love - so what I've done here is removed "perhaps the least popular" but added additional positive and negative criticism of the work.
 * d) In the case of the WordPress blog, I had thought it was borderline since its an official University of Bradford blog? What I've done is removed both links as references, but added them to external links. This included removing the sentence about the progression of her practice you can seen in the archives, but on reflection that's probably obvious anyway.
 * e) Added more details on CND - there's now a full paragraph.
 * f) Added more details on HLRS and Hawkes role - its mentioned now! Thank you for the hint. This section does have a wordpress link back to a University of Bradford blog - but the blog refers to specific material in the archive, rather than opinion, and I struggled to find an alternative source for the infomation, so I hope the reviewer can recognise it has some reliability.
 * Once again, thank you much for the help, I'm going to go over to WIG and submit it shortly. Lajmmoore (talk) 09:22, 10 October 2021 (UTC)