Talk:Jacqui McQueen/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 04:24, 9 March 2011 (UTC)

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:24, 9 March 2011 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found:
 * "marrying illegal immigrant Aleksander Malota to pay of debts," pay off debts✅
 * "her wayward relationship with Tony Hutchinson, which became popular with viewers" and her wayward✅
 * "weather Gilly is guilty or innocent is to be decided by viewers" whether✅
 * Sentences starting with "in (year)", with a month if applicable, should have commas after year✅
 * "The relationship proved popular with viewers,[3] during an interview" period/semicolon instead of comma✅
 * "Danny takes a shine to Jacqui and they share a couple of dates, during an interview" same as above, because they are two complete thoughts✅
 * "Although she knows the risks of crossing Danny, she tries to fix the poker game, of this Cooper" semicolon for second one, as above✅
 * "It was later revealed that the deatils" details✅
 * The storyline section feels too long, and I request that it be trimmed. What should be I'll leave up to you, since you would know which pieces are more important than others.✅
 * The sentencing at the start of the reception section feels overly repetitive. Not sure how to mix it up, but any way that could be found would be beneficial.✅
 * "Virgin Media criticised the character's dress sense stating " add by or put a comma after sense✅

I'll put the article on hold, and once the issues are fixed I'll read through the storyline section for any errors. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 05:34, 11 March 2011 (UTC)


 * Comment - Only just noticed this, I'll get to it. RAIN*the*ONE  BAM 14:50, 14 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Okay, looks good; will read through storyline section tonight and note final comments here. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 16:24, 14 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Yeah I tried to cut it down as much as, she's always had big stories. RAIN*the*ONE  BAM 04:14, 15 March 2011 (UTC)

Here are the remaining issues:
 * "Jacqui meets divorcee Tony, they sleep together." then they✅
 * "Becca is killed by another prisoner, Jacqui is devastated." and Jacqui is✅
 * "Jacqui discovers she is pregnant, Tony initially doesn't" semicolon rather than comma✅
 * "Jacqui's plans to adopt because of her criminal record." Jacqui plans to✅
 * "Jacqui forces Tony to make a choice between Harry, or her." no comma needed✅
 * "Jacqui and Tony separate, she realises she needs to forgive Myra." and she realises✅
 * "her lies and stealing fro the school canteen." from the✅
 * "Jacqui and Rhys unknowingly meet on a internet dating website, fall for each other." and fall for✅

Once those issues are fixed i'll pass the article.
 * I've done them. :) RAIN*the*ONE  BAM 14:31, 16 March 2011 (UTC)
 * Article looks good now, so it can finally be passed as a GA. Wizardman  Operation Big Bear 16:05, 16 March 2011 (UTC)

'Lost her identity' - unsourced comment
The comment, supposedly from Claire Cooper, that Jacqui 'lost her identity' during Lucy Allan's tenure is unsourced - unless a source can be added it should be removed, as we have no way of knowing if Cooper actually said it. Smurfmeister (talk) 01:51, 20 May 2013 (UTC)