Talk:Jag kommer/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:58, 18 December 2020 (UTC)

Reviewing this shortly since it is great to help get more articles to GA status in the build-up to Christmas! --K. Peake 10:58, 18 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Thank you! Paparazzzi (talk) 17:34, 18 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I have made some comments below but I am not finished since these are only my initial ones; I will make more comments tomorrow, though you can respond to the below ones now if you wish! --K. Peake 21:48, 18 December 2020 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

 * Release date should be listed as 10 February 2011 since that was the first one
 * Remove venue parameter from the infobox because that is for live recordings
 * Replace hlist with bullet points Why?
 * See Template:Infobox song to understand the guidelines. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * Link to the music video on YouTube from the infobox
 * "I'm Coming" should be in bold
 * "is a single by Swedish singer Veronica Maggio, from her third studio album" → "is a song by Swedish singer Veronica Maggio from her third studio album,"
 * "co-wrote it with" → "co-wrote the song with" ❌ to avoid repetition of "song" in both the previous and following sentence
 * In the lead, you should use either "the song" or "the track" for consistency and if this reads repetitively here, change "its producer" to "the sole producer" and start the following sentence with it instead of the song. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "It was released in Sweden as a digital download on 11 February 2011," → "The song was released to contemporary hit radio stations in Sweden on 10 February 2011,"
 * "from Satan i gatan." → "from the album."
 * ""Jag kommer" is a" → "It is a"
 * "where Maggio sings" → "which features Maggio singing"
 * "Some critics noted a" → "Some music critics noted a"
 * "the meaning of the track" → "the meaning of the song" ❌ there would be a repetition of "song" with the previous sentence
 * Covered why not to use "the track" earlier on. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * ""Jag kommer" also attracted acussations from" → "It also attracted accusations from the"
 * Lowercase the Strokes per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * Remove release year of the track
 * "towards the track was positive," → "towards the song was positive,"
 * "one of the best songs from the album." → "one of the best tracks from Satan i gatan."
 * "on Sweden's Sverigetopplistan," → "on Sweden's Sverigetopplistan chart,"
 * "number one single in Sweden." → "number one single in the country."
 * "It received a 7x platinum certification in the region for over 300,000 copies sold." → "The song has been certified septuple platinum in Sweden by the Swedish Recording Industry Association (GLF)." with the wikilink
 * "The track also peaked at" → "It peaked at"
 * "Norway's Topp 20 Singles. IFPI Norway certified it 2x platinum for selling 20,000 copies in the country." → "Norway's Topp 20 Singles chart, and was certified double platinum in the country by IFPI Norway." with the target
 * Wikilink music video
 * "moves to the opposite direction" → "moves in the opposite direction of the one"
 * "performed "Jag kommer" in" → "performed the song on"
 * ""Jag kommer" won the" → "the song won the" ❌ to avoid repetition of "song" in both the previous and following sentence
 * Covered why not to use "the track" earlier on, plus you should only have the title once per para in the lead. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "in both the" → "at both the"
 * "for Swedish tv show" → "for Swedish TV show" but this can be wrote out in the body too; retitle live performances to Live performances and media usage, then add it at the end
 * "of the track, titled" → "of the original, titled"
 * Mention the release date/month
 * Try adding some more info for the lead; write about the song's comp and critical reception probably, like I did here for an alternate version.
 * "The track reached" → "The version reached"
 * Besides the comments I left, everything else has been ✅! --Paparazzzi (talk) 04:13, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I have responded to you here and in other places where we have come to disagreements with one another. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Production and release

 * "Veronica Maggio said the writing process" → "Maggio said the writing process"
 * "compared to the rest of the tracks of" → "compared to that of the other tracks on"
 * Remove wikilink on Satan i gatan
 * "was the only one on the record that was not about" → "is the only one on the album that is not about"
 * Remove Swedish newspaper introduction since that is not needed
 * "since her previous tracks" → "as her previous tracks"
 * "She added that" → "Maggio added that"
 * "wrote it with its producer" → "wrote it alongside the sole producer"
 * "and Robert Vadadi the" → "while Robert Vadadi played the"
 * Wikilink synthesizer
 * "Kontakt using compression technique side-chain." → "Kontakt, using compression technique side-chain." with the targets per MOS:LINK2SECT for two of them ❌ I don't really understand your point here, the sentence is already constructed around MOS:LINK2SECT
 * No it is not, you have targetted to the sections by using the main pages and adding hashtags rather than targeting to the redirects: "Avoid: history of Topic", says the MOS guidelines there about targeting to sections; grammar still needs fixing too. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "premiered "Jag kommer" on 10 February 2011," → "sent "Jag kommer" to Swedish contemporary hit radio stations on 10 February 2011," ❌ Sveriges Radio doesn't send songs to radio, labels send them to Sveriges Radio
 * Oh ok, maybe you could mention the labels that sent it to the radio station? --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "it the following day as a" → "it the following day for"
 * Wikilink lead single
 * "from Maggio's third studio album, Satan i gatan." → "from Satan i gatan." but should this part really be here, as the initial release was as the lead single? yes, because it was announced that it was the lead single of her album at the time of its release
 * "It was later" → "The song was later"
 * "A remixed version by" → "A Mash Up International Remix by" ❌ Mash Up International is the name of the group who remixed the track, not the title of the remix
 * "was released on" → "was released for digital download on"
 * Everything besides the comments I left has been ✅!Paparazzzi (talk) 04:30, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Music and lyrics

 * Target double meaning to Double entendre on the quote box, plus wikilink love song
 * ""Jag kommer" is a" → "Musically, "Jag kommer" is a"
 * "of three minutes and twenty-two seconds." → "of three minutes and 22 seconds (3:22)." why it would be necessary to have the length in both numbers and letters?
 * If you only put the length in numbers, then some readers may think the song went on for three hours, so letters are needed first to make things clear but should be followed by numbers since that's how lengths are presented on actual track listings. Also, I had made a typo in the suggested prose that I have fixed now. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "When asked if the lyrics had a" → "When asked if the lyrics have a"
 * "due to its hook," → "due to the hook,"
 * "was open to the listener's" – should it be this or "is open" since listeners can always interpretate the song?
 * "and that they could also simply" → "and they could also simply"
 * Wikilink love song

Plagiarism accusations

 * Lowercase the Strokes on all mentions per MOS:THEMUSIC
 * "Regarding these accusations, Maggio said that" → "Regarding the accusations, Maggio said"
 * Target keys to Piano keys per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * Popdust should be italicised
 * "and The Strokes and its lyrical content" → "and the Strokes, and likened its lyrical content"
 * "was a departure of" → "was a departure from"
 * Target soul to Soul music
 * Besides the comment above, everything has been ✅!Paparazzzi (talk) 04:58, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Critical reception

 * "was well-received by critics." → "was well-received by music critics." with the target
 * Remove Aftenposten review since it is dead and there is no archive available❌ the link is not dead
 * That must have been a temporary glitch, as it is showing up for me too now. --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)


 * "with four wasps" → "with four out of five wasps"
 * Remove target on Gaffa Sweden
 * "noted on the song elements" → "noted the song features elements"
 * "rated it with five points and compared the track's" → "rated the song with five points and compared its"
 * "called it the best track of" → "called the song the best track on"
 * Remove Norwegian newspaper intro since that is unimportant
 * This ranking should come at the end of the section right before the awards, as it is an accolade not a review
 * "said the lyrics were" → "said the lyrics are"
 * "said the track was an" → "said the track is an"
 * Target pop to Pop music
 * "with Walz to write the song." → "with Walz to create the song."
 * "collaboration with Walz was" → "collaboration with Walz is"
 * "especially in tracks" → "especially on tracks"
 * "rock was mostly evident on" → "rock is mostly evident on" with the target
 * "saying that her association" → "saying her association"
 * Awards should be a separate para to split from the reviews, with the ranking still being moved with them but it will start the para in this context
 * "and the Swedish hit of the Year award" → "as well as the Swedish hit of the Year award"
 * Everything besides the comment above has been ✅!Paparazzzi (talk) 05:46, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Commercial performance

 * "on Sweden's Sverigetopplistan during" → "on Sweden's Sverigetopplistan chart during"
 * "the other ten songs" → "the other 10 songs" per MOS:NUM
 * "the following edition." → "the following week."
 * "the Sverigetopplistan chart between 2011 and 2012." → "the Sverigetopplistan chart, from 2011 to 2012."
 * "was certified seven times platinum" → "was certified septuple platinum"
 * "in that territory, and further" → "in Sweden, and further"
 * "also reached number 4 on the" → "also reached number four on Sweden's"
 * Remove wikilink on Sveriges Radio P3
 * "most-played in general," → "most-played overall,"
 * "and the tenth best-selling track of the country in" → "and the 10th best-selling track in the country for"
 * "in Swedish radio" → "on Swedish radio"
 * "entered the Topp 20 Singles chart" → "entered the Topp 20 Singles chart"
 * "It re-entered the list" → "The song re-entered the chart"
 * "before reaching its peak position of 12 on its tenth and last week on the chart." → "before attaining a peak position of number 12 on its 10th and last week on the Topp 20 Singles chart."
 * "double-platinum on" → "double platinum on"
 * "by the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry of Norway, for selling 20,000 units in the country." → "by the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI), for selling 20,000 units in Norway."
 * "and the twenty-ninth most" → "and the 29th most"
 * Everything has been ✅! Paparazzzi (talk) 06:00, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Music video

 * Wikilink music video
 * "on 11 April 2011[61] and two days later" → "on 11 April 2011,[61] and premiered two days later"
 * "It begins with a" → "The video begins with a"
 * Wikilink tweezers
 * The tweezers part is not backed up, as far as I can see
 * "opined this was related" → "opined the removal was related"
 * "she is walking every time" → "Maggio is walking in every time"
 * "the plot, she said that" → "the plot, she said,"
 * "inclining Lustiga Huset"." → "inclining Lustiga Huset."" because that is the end of full sentences quoted
 * "for the music video weighted" → "for the music video weighed"
 * "which needed eight people to push it" → "needing eight people for pushing"
 * "as it tended to" → "as the house tended to"
 * "hit her head with a wall, she elaborated on the incident," → "hit her head on a wall, and she elaborated on the incident:"
 * "the video a compared it with a dream," → "the video, with her comparing it with a dream"
 * Remove view count since YouTube should not be used as a source for that due to it constantly updating
 * Everything has been ✅! Paparazzzi (talk) 06:12, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Live performances

 * "on different venues and" → "at different venues and"
 * "as their reception and" → "because their reception and"
 * "of course"." → "of course.""
 * Remove wikilink on NRK P3
 * Remove wikilink on Aftonbladet
 * "sang "Jag kommer" and" → "sang "Jag kommer" and fellow album track"
 * "On 10 August, Maggio" → "On 10 August 2011, Maggio"
 * "she also sang the track during the encore in" → "she sang the track during the encore at a nightclub in"
 * "played on the concert," → "played at the concert,"
 * Remove wikilink on Gröna Lund
 * "wearing white top and shorts" → "wearing a white top as well as shorts"
 * "during her show" → "as part of her show"
 * Everything has been ✅! Paparazzzi (talk) 06:35, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Track listing

 * Retitle to Track listings since there is more than one ✅ --Paparazzzi (talk) 06:36, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Credits and personnel

 * Wikilink Veronica Maggio
 * Target lead vocals to Lead vocalist
 * Wikilink Christian Walz
 * Target mixing to Audio mixing (recorded music)
 * Target background vocals to Backing vocalist
 * Remove wikilink on guitar
 * Wikilink Stefan Sundström
 * Wikilink Erik Arvinder
 * Everything has been ✅! --Paparazzzi (talk) 06:38, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Weekly charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅--Paparazzzi (talk) 06:47, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Remove Realtones since that is not notable, as the main chart has been listed ❌ It's not the main chart but it is not a component chart either, so it can be included as well--Paparazzzi (talk) 06:47, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
 * That is fine, but why have you now centered all the chart names in this area? That is not how they should be laid out... --K. Peake 13:32, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
 * This issue has still not been fixed; take a look through other GAs to see the correct formatting for charts. --K. Peake 08:41, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Year-end charts

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅ --Paparazzzi (talk) 06:47, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Certifications

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅ --Paparazzzi (talk) 06:48, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Release history

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION ✅ --Paparazzzi (talk) 06:46, 22 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Remove wikilinks on Sweden and Norway ✅--Paparazzzi (talk) 06:46, 22 December 2020 (UTC)

Tove Lo version

 * Target Universal to Universal Music Group
 * Replace hlist with bullet points in the infobox
 * Remove wikilink on Spotify
 * Remove the reissue info since that should only be written in the release section
 * "On 28 April 2020, Lo performed an acoustic version of "I'm Coming"" → "On 28 April of that year, Lo performed an acoustic version of the track" with the target
 * Remove Swedish TV network introduction
 * "A lyric video of the track was" → "A lyric video for the track was" with the wikilink per MOS:LINK2SECT
 * "with the lyrics shown" → "while the lyrics are shown"
 * Comments addressed.--Paparazzzi (talk) 05:14, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Recording

 * Remove wikilink on Spotify
 * "or make a new track." → "or create a new track."
 * "in early 2020," → "during early 2020,"
 * "to translate it to English because" → "to translate it into English because:"
 * "as she considers it special" → "since she considers it special"
 * Target Warner Chappell to Warner Chappell Music
 * Target keyboards to Keyboard instrument
 * Remove target on recorded
 * Target mastering to Mastering (audio)
 * "guitar and Karl Hovmark" → "guitar while Karl Hovmark played"
 * All the comments have been addressed. --Paparazzzi (talk) 05:22, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Release

 * This should be the sub-section directly below Composition
 * Wikilink Instagram
 * "sent the track that same day to contemporary radio stations in Norway,[86] and" → "sent the track to contemporary hit radio stations in Norway that same day,[86] and to the same format"
 * "It was later" → ""I'm Coming" was later"
 * "on Lo's reissue of her fourth studio album," → "on Lo's 2020 reissue of her fourth studio album" with the wikilink, and add the original release year of the album in brackets
 * Comments addressed.--Paparazzzi (talk) 05:39, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Composition

 * "Different from the original's" → "Differentiating from the original's"
 * "track with a" → "track, with a"
 * "of 3 minutes and sixteen seconds," → "of three minutes and 16 seconds (3:16),"
 * Wikilink tempo and remove target on beats per minute
 * "with her collaborators a more dream-dance sound," → "a more dream-dance sound with her collaborators,"
 * "For her it was" → "For Lo, it was"
 * "sonically new."" → "sonically new"."
 * Comments addressed.--Paparazzzi (talk) 07:11, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Reception

 * Idolator should be italicised
 * "called it a" → "called "I'm Coming" a"
 * "adding that "It goes" → "adding that, "It goes"
 * "that she [Lo] does the [original] song" → "that [Lo] does the [original]" since that is correct paraphrasing
 * "Angie Martoccio of Rolling Stone deemed it" → "Martoccio deemed the song"
 * "kept the same "starry-eyed" energy with" → "keeps the same "starry-eyed" energy of"
 * "included it on their list" → "included the song on their respective lists"
 * Mention which week it was for
 * "the single debuted and peaked at number 12 on the Sverigetopplistan." → "the song debuted and peaked at number 12 on the Sverigetopplistan chart."
 * "becoming her highest charting single as a lead artist in that territory." → "becoming Lo's highest charting single as a lead artist in the country."
 * "It spent eight weeks" → "The song spend eight weeks"
 * "also charted at number 9 on Svenskt Topp 20," → "further charted at number nine on the Svenskt Topp 20 chart,"
 * "in Norway's Topp Single list" → "on Norway's Topp 20 Singles chart"
 * Why have you not implemented this change? --K. Peake 08:41, 27 December 2020 (UTC)

Charts

 * Create this sub-section, though only for the table while the positions remain written out in prose in the reception sub-section
 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Release history

 * See MOS:TABLECAPTION

Final comments and verdict

 * until the issues are fixed; sorry about this taking some time, I was busy with work. --K. Peake 15:16, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I have made a few comments above where things need fixing, as well as done some copy editing for you. Good luck! --K. Peake 08:41, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Hi,, I had just addressed all of your comments! Please check that I have not missed anything. Regards!--Paparazzzi (talk) 08:43, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you for adding so many changes, but you still need to address my most recent comments. --K. Peake 08:47, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
 * I have addressed those points. I'm sorry that I missed those. Regards! --Paparazzzi (talk) 08:59, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
 * ✅ after you successfully implemented the edits, though I had to fix the title of the Norwegian chart. Congrats on this GA; is it your first, actually? --K. Peake 09:15, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much! It's not my first GA overall, but it's the first after the July-December wiki-break that I took. Regards, and have a nice day! --Paparazzzi (talk) 09:19, 27 December 2020 (UTC)