Talk:Jahaad Proctor/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 17:23, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 17:23, 1 October 2020 (UTC)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Early life and high school career

 * "but he could shoot and score." - how come?
 * Natural ability? Effort in practice? What do you want me to say? ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * Whichever is more accurate MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I don't know what to do here. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 15:17, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I think effort in practice will suffice. MWright96 (talk) 15:35, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * The ref states, "But he could score, a trait his father traces back to abundant hours hanging around those high school practices." I added a bit about his practice. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 18:10, 2 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Proctor stood 5'10." - the convert template is needed for use on the text in bold
 * Done ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "and grew to 6'3." - same issue as above
 * Done. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "He became the first player in school history to earn three All-State selections, and the third to earn first team honors," - repetition of the word "earn"
 * Changed to "receive". ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "He committed to" - He committed to playing college basketball for
 * OK. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

College career
* "helping Iona win the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference tournament and reach the NCAA Tournament." - repetition of the word "tournament"
 * "He averaged 5.1 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.1 assists per game as a freshman at Iona." - word-to-word copy of the SB Nation source verifying this text. Please reword accordingly
 * Changed to "As a freshman, he averaged 5.1 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.1 assists per game." ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * I don't see the problem, they are two different tournaments. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "and reach the NCAA Tournament." - and qualify for the
 * Done. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "On December 18, 2018," - The ESPN source states the game took place on December 17, 2018
 * Good catch. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "because he discovered a rehab technique." - rehabilition
 * Done. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "and other athletes his field of study." - in his
 * OK. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "Proctor helped to fill the void of departing" - more formal; replace the
 * Reworded. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)
 * "The season was cancelled prior to the Big Ten Tournament," - mention the season was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic as stated in The Patriot-News
 * Done, good to be specific. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)

Personal life

 * "His father is a math teacher at William Penn Senior High School in York, Pennsylvania and baggage handler for Delta Air Lines at Harrisburg International Airport." - and a baggage handler
 * Done. ~ EDDY  ( talk / contribs )~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)