Talk:Jake Diekman/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 23:08, 3 October 2014 (UTC)

This one's been waiting for a review long enough, so I'll give it a shot. Wizardman 23:08, 3 October 2014 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found:
 * "He played two seasons of baseball in college – one at Doane College the other at Cloud County Community College – before" should be a comma after Doane College, but I think it would be better without the dashes. Perhaps "He played two seasons of baseball at Doane College and Cloud County...", since the one each would be implied.
 * "before adjusting his mechanics, and" rm comma
 * you have "lone bright spots" in quotes in the lead but not the body. for consistency add quotes to when it appears later on.
 * Last sentence of early career and first sentence of professional career are essentially the exact same thing. Reword or remove one of them.
 * " beginning the season in Triple-A (AAA). " Triple-A is used in the prior paragraph, so the parentheses note should go there and this mention changed to just AAA.
 * Perhaps the biggest issue right now is the lack of information on 2014, though it's understandable given that this was nom'd many months ago.
 * The journalese writing is mostly averted, but it rears its head a couple times ("He flourished with the adjustment," "struggled mightily") ERAs of over five or under two can do those implications for us. Doesn't have to be completely removed, but at least tone it down.

Everything else (images, refs, etc.) check out. I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when the issues are fixed (after a re-review of the 2014 addition of course). Wizardman 15:08, 4 October 2014 (UTC)
 * How's that, ?  Go  Phightins  !  19:10, 5 October 2014 (UTC)

Gave it another read-through and all the changes look good, so I will pass this article as a GA. Wizardman  21:08, 5 October 2014 (UTC)