Talk:Jaki Byard/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 04:16, 7 February 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this article sometime this weekend. Wizardman 04:16, 7 February 2014 (UTC)
 * Thanks! I'll be around, so should be able to respond quickly. EddieHugh (talk) 16:48, 7 February 2014 (UTC)

Sorry for the delay on this, real life got in the way. Here are the issues I found:
 * Not sure if adding an old address for the parents is significant. I'd remove it unless I'm missing something.
 * The implication is that he was there as a child. They're not of the same standing, but see Bix Beiderbecke for a jazz example that includes a first home.


 * "Byard began playing professionally, on piano, at the age of 16, in bands led by Doc Kentross and Freddy Bates" A lot of commas here, most of which aren't needed. If you feel they're required, reword to limit them.
 * Dropped the first two.


 * "who encouraged Byard to take up another instrument – the tenor saxophone" this can probably just be shrunk to "who encouraged Byard to take up the tenor saxophone"
 * Changed to "encouraged Byard to add tenor saxophone to his array of instruments", to avoid implying that he was advised to stop playing the piano.


 * "He then joined Earl Bostic's popular band as pianist in 1947 and they toured for around a year" popular isn't needed here.
 * Removed.


 * "Byard also played solo piano in Boston in the ealy to mid-1950s and freelanced in the same area later in the same decade" early. Also, we have two "in the same"s back to back and it feels repetitive; reword.
 * Changed to "freelanced in that area later in the same decade".


 * Technically this isn't wrong, but there's a few spots that just use "from [year]" Ideally there should be date ranges, and since it's not a living person it's not like it's a dynamic length of time.
 * Unfortunately, that's what's in the sources for some. I've added a period for the New England and Manhattan work.


 * We need ISBNs for the book sources.
 * Not for GA, I thought, but done.


 * While not a requirement, linking newspapers in references would be beneficial.
 * Done for those that are available.

I'll put the article on hold and will pass when the issues are fixed. Wizardman 04:09, 15 February 2014 (UTC)
 * Responses are indented above. I think that I've dealt with them all, but let me know if more is required. Thank you for the review. EddieHugh (talk) 12:47, 15 February 2014 (UTC)
 * Looks good now. For future references, I'd ideally use ISBNs automatically whenever you use a book source. It helps reviewers if only to make sure the book in fact exists (happened to me once when I found a hoax, and that was enough for me to crack down). Article is now passed as a GA. Wizardman  17:13, 15 February 2014 (UTC)