Talk:Jamaica national football team/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 14:31, 5 August 2019 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one. Will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 14:31, 5 August 2019 (UTC)

Initial review

Lead
✅ ✅ ✅ HawkAussie (talk) 00:14, 6 August 2019 (UTC)
 * "officially represent Jamaica in international football", officially seems rather unnecessary here. I'm assuming no one unofficially represented them?
 * Link the full wording of CONCACAF.
 * "competes in the Caribbean Cup and has won six times", sounds a little clunky perhaps. "Has won ''the competition" six times"?

Early history (1893–1962)

 * "In 1910, the Football Association was formed", is this referring to the JFF? If so, include the JFF with a link.
 * "controlled all of the games", this seems rather vague. Needs more explaining, something along the lines of "to take control of Jamaica's domestic leagues and international side"? There may be better wording here but you get the gist.
 * "Jamaica had its first international match against Haiti and won all three games", again needs more explanation, we suddenly jump from the team's first international match to three.
 * ✅ Slightly modified this sentence so this makes more sense.
 * Delapenha didn't play for the national side according to his article. Is that an oversight in his page? Otherwise it seems odd to list him here.
 * ✅ It seemed to be added when Bobby was doing the c/e
 * Delapenha didn't play for the national side according to his article. Is that an oversight in his page? Otherwise it seems odd to list him here.
 * ✅ It seemed to be added when Bobby was doing the c/e

Post-independence (1962–1989)

 * "the Jamaica Football Federation was formed", the article for this states they were founded in 1910 but gained FIFA affiliation in 1962?
 * ✅ I am quite sure that was when the JFF became a FIFA member.
 * The Netherlands > The Netherlands Antilles. Same again in the following paragraph.
 * Duplink of Mexico in the second paragraph.
 * Link hat-trick in the second paragraph.
 * The two sentences at the start of the last paragraph regarding missing the two World Cup qualifying campaigns could probably be merged into one.
 * ✅ I feel like that is properly a good idea there. HawkAussie (talk) 00:26, 6 August 2019 (UTC)
 * The two sentences at the start of the last paragraph regarding missing the two World Cup qualifying campaigns could probably be merged into one.
 * ✅ I feel like that is properly a good idea there. HawkAussie (talk) 00:26, 6 August 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅ I feel like that is properly a good idea there. HawkAussie (talk) 00:26, 6 August 2019 (UTC)

Caribbean triumph and World Cup appearance (1990–2000)

 * "1992 Caribbean Cup. In 1992, Jamaica competed." Could drop the second 1993 here for "later that year" or similar.
 * "its largest-ever win margin in a 12–0 win", against who?
 * ✅ It was against the British Virgin Islands.
 * "Simões searched for players and convinced Jamaican players in the UK to play for Jamaica", probably need to clarify why this was notable I.e. the number of foreign-born players who were selected called up.
 * ✅ I have slightly modified that sentence so that it was players that had Jamaican heritage that would be eligible to play for Jamaica.
 * "With the help of keeper", > goalkeeper.
 * "With the help of keeper", > goalkeeper.

Struggles at continental level (2001–2009)

 * "After reaching the final after wins against", slight repetition of after here.
 * ✅ Changed the second after to with.

Recent times (2010–)

 * Can't say I'm keen on the heading here (at what point will it not be "recent" for example). Is there an alternative heading?
 * ✅ Changed to it continental finals appearances because they appeared in the 2015 and 2017 Gold Cup final.
 * "a historic 2–1 win over the US at home", historic seems like a WP:PEACOCK term. Why was it historic?
 * ✅ Because it was the first time that they defeated the Americans.
 * Giles Barnes linked twice in two sentences in the third paragraph.
 * "Jamaica finished scoring no goals in three matches, ending last in its group with zero points", I'm not sure this sentence really works in its current form.
 * ✅ Reworded it. HawkAussie (talk) 00:47, 6 August 2019 (UTC)
 * ✅ Reworded it. HawkAussie (talk) 00:47, 6 August 2019 (UTC)

Kits

 * "The national team has been through four clothing manufacturers that applied the official kit for Belgium." This is a little informal and I'm not sure why Belgium are relevant here?
 * Meant to be Jamaica here. HawkAussie (talk) 00:17, 6 August 2019 (UTC)

Records
✅ Meant to be in the player section. HawkAussie (talk) 00:16, 6 August 2019 (UTC)
 * The UB40 note is a little oddly placed here, it's not a record after all.

Post-independence (1962–1989)

 * "the JFF was formed", you've now got the JFF being formed in the first section and here in the second. Was this meant to be their FIFA affiliation?
 * ✅ It was their FIFA affiliation which I have put in.
 * "from its previous World Cup team", probably best to mention qualifying otherwise it sounds rather like they made the tournament.
 * ✅ Slighty reworded to say that it was the previous attempt in qualifying.

Caribbean triumph and World Cup appearance (1990–2000)
✅ Modified that flow through there.
 * "1992 Caribbean Cup. In 1992, Jamaica competed." Could drop the second 1993 here for "later that year" or similar. This still stands from the initial review.

A couple more things I noticed in a second run through. I've done some minor copyediting, let me know if you take issues with any of the changes but they're all relatively small. Kosack (talk) 18:57, 7 August 2019 (UTC)

I don't see any main issues with that as they are indeed only minor. HawkAussie (talk) 00:33, 8 August 2019 (UTC)


 * Ok I think we're there on this one. I'm happy that this meets the GA criteria. Nice work, promoting.