Talk:James Harvey Insole/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: CaroleHenson (talk · contribs) 20:01, 2 April 2020 (UTC)

Hello again (Talk:George Insole/GA1),

I am looking forward to reviewing this article, too. I hope you don't mind, I will go ahead and make any minor tweaks, like commas and links, and give you the diff to look at so that you can ensure that you agree.–CaroleHenson (talk) 20:01, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks, and please do. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 03:44, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Intro and infobox

 * I added these links.
 * Thanks. ~ RLO1729&#128172;


 * It would be nice to have a sentence or two about his philanthropy and other activities (politician, consul to Spain (diplomat), etc.)–CaroleHenson (talk) 20:14, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Done. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 04:17, 3 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Great job on the intro!!!–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:37, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Early life

 * I added a few commas and fixed one cite order issue.–CaroleHenson (talk) 20:20, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks, though I would like to revisit some of the additional commas in light of my reply in the George Insole review please. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 04:24, 3 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes, go ahead.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:23, 3 April 2020 (UTC)


 * This section is ✅–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:23, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Coal producer

 * I added commas, simplified a piped link, and combined single sentences into a paragraph here. The paragraph seems to work just fine without the orphan sentences.
 * Thanks, I felt the separate paragraphs each covered slightly different topics but the single paragraph is OK.
 * Also, as there seems to be a range of opinions on the ellipsis I would prefer to keep the space before (as in Oxford Style Guide here). ~ RLO1729&#128172;


 * Should "were" replace "was" in "However, the apparent contradiction in Insole's evidence given at the inquest and the later assizes was criticised." — since the evidence at the inquest and the assizes were criticized? Or, do you see it as one thing?–CaroleHenson (talk) 20:45, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * I consider the subject of the sentence to be "evidence" (modified by the surrounding words) so I'd say the verb should be in the singular. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 04:48, 3 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Ok to both. This section is done.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:25, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Gentrification

 * Commas and cite order fixes are here.
 * What do you think about starting a new section called "Philanthropy and personal life" with "His and his company's names were to be found in published lists of subscribers to good causes.[40][41]"? Just a thought.
 * Good idea. I've made Philanthropy a subsection of Gentrification as it was all connected but moved the personal info to the renamed Remarriage, death, and legacy section. Let me know if this works for you. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 05:05, 3 April 2020 (UTC)


 * That's great! This section is done.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:26, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Other activities

 * Cite order and one link tweak here.–CaroleHenson (talk) 21:11, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 05:08, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Death and legacy

 * There are cite order changes here.
 * Thanks. ~ RLO1729&#128172;


 * I would recommend adding the authors and/or newspapers for the quotes in the quote box for context.
 * I have added them in but find they distract from the flow of the narrative presented in the quotebox when one quote just follows another. Is there a way around this? ~ RLO1729&#128172;
 * I added dashes and I think it looks better now. See what you think. This is absolutely not something that affects passing GA, but I think it's helpful for the readers.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:32, 3 April 2020 (UTC)


 * There are a gazillion citations regarding the obituaries. Are any of those duplicate wording, or are they all unique obituaries?–CaroleHenson (talk) 21:25, 2 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Yes, they are all unique and focus on different aspects of his life. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 05:23, 3 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Okay.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:32, 3 April 2020 (UTC)


 * This section is done.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:32, 3 April 2020 (UTC)

Selected histories

 * No comments–CaroleHenson (talk) 21:25, 2 April 2020 (UTC)

Comments
There are just some minor items stated above, plus the suggestion to add a few sentences information about his philanthropy and about some of the key roles in "Other activities".–CaroleHenson (talk) 00:02, 3 April 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your very helpful review. ~ RLO1729&#128172; 05:25, 3 April 2020 (UTC)


 * Yeah, this article has passed as a GA article.–CaroleHenson (talk) 17:33, 3 April 2020 (UTC)