Talk:James Hill (British Army officer)/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

I will have to take several sittings at this article before it is completed (a bit busy at the moment). I will leave comments as I see them below and then I'll provide a summary at the end. Regards--Jackyd101 (talk) 16:20, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
 * "The division was withdrawn to England in September 1944, but briefly saw itself in the Ardennes in December" - saw itself doesn't really make sense to me, can you clarify this?
 * Clarified


 * Link to Walter Hill goes to a disambiguation page. If the article doesn't exist I recommend creating it.
 * I tried to before, but I've no sources on him. I've delinked him for now; maybe something can be found online.


 * Unless its part of a title, military ranks shouldn't be capitalised.
 * Can you highlight where this occurred?
 * WHen he is promoted to captain and major the ranks are capitalised but I don't think they should be as they are not part of a direct title. Its not vital and I leave it up to you.


 * "should German forces land there; during his stay in the city" - the "during his stay in the city" seems redundant in the context of the sentance.
 * Yeah, removed it.


 * " he found several Germans staying at the Gresham Hotel, where he was lodged." - First of all it needs a capital letter. Secondly, who were these Germans and why is this an important fact (Ireland was neutral at the time after all).
 * Ahh, removed that bit; it was only something from the newspaper obituaries and isn't exactly important.


 * "because it was too dependent on there being good weather on the day of the raid" - not clear enough. Instead of "it" use something like "their deployment"
 * Done


 * " A short time after the battalion entered Béja, German arrived and bombed the town," - German what?
 * Whoops, added 'aircraft'


 * "Hill was shot three times in the chest and his adjutant wounded, and the tank crew swiftly dispatched with small arms fire" - there should be an although rather than the and after the comma.
 * Done


 * "with 3rd Parachute Brigade occupying an area around Rochefort" - Rochefort is a dismiguation page.
 * "several attacks against German positions in the village of Bure, which resulted in heavy casualties" - to which side?
 * I've tried to add links to towns that are mentioned but not linked, but some are coming up as red. Since I always feel these links are important for readers who want to locate these places, please double check spelling etc. to link as many as possible.

GA Pass
Hi there, I am happy to tell you that this article has passed GA without the need for any further improvement. Listed below is information on how the article fared against the good article criteria. There are some additional comments above that may assist you in future processes, but I have to say that I believe this article is not far from FAC standard and I would likely give it my support should it be nominated (although I may have one or two additional comments).
 * It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
 * It is stable.
 * It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
 * a (tagged and captioned): b (lack of images does not in itself exclude GA):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales):
 * Overall:
 * a Pass/Fail:
 * a Pass/Fail:

Thankyou and congratulations, an excellent addition to Wikipedia:Good Articles. All the best.--Jackyd101 (talk) 11:11, 11 October 2009 (UTC)