Talk:James I of Scotland/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 13:38, 29 February 2012 (UTC)

I am taking on this GA review and welcome the input of others. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:38, 29 February 2012 (UTC)

Initial comments
In general, the article is well written with a sensible structure. However I think that some of the sentences are excessively long and complex and lack internal punctuation, particularly commas. See the Manual of Style. I think some of these sentences would be better split into shorter ones. Here are some examples but there are many other similar sentence structures:


 * "The Albany and Douglas affinity received a severe set-back in September 1402 when their large army was defeated by the English at Homildon and numerous prominent nobles and adherents were captured including Douglas himself, Albany's son Murdoch, and the earls of Moray, Angus and Orkney (Orkney was quickly ransomed)." (Prince and Steward of Scotland #1)
 * Done Bill Reid | (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2012 (UTC)


 * "At his coronation parliament the king--probably with the intent of building loyalty to the crown among the political community--knighted 18 prominent nobles including Albany's son Alexander Stewart." (Personal rule: First acts #1}
 * Done Bill Reid | (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2012 (UTC)


 * "The king and his queen accompanied by an escort of English and Scottish nobles then proceeded to Melrose Abbey arriving on 5 April where he met Albany to receive the governor's seal of office." (King in captivity #3)
 * Done Bill Reid | (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2012 (UTC)


 * "An assize of seven earls and fourteen lesser nobles heard the evidence that linked the prisoners to the rebellion in the Lennox—the four men were condemned, Walter on 24 May and the others on 25 May and immediately beheaded in 'front of the castle'." (Personal rule: Ruthless and acquisitive #2)
 * Done Bill Reid | (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2012 (UTC)


 * Some other clunky sentences also corrected. Bill Reid | (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2012 (UTC)

Some other points:
 * I wondered whether the section heading "Ruthless and acquisitive" was appropriate. These are two adjectives and seem out of place to me.
 * Done Bill Reid | (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2012 (UTC)


 * The first image, the portrait of James I, is rather dark. Would it be possible to lighten it up a bit? Cwmhiraeth (talk) 14:03, 1 March 2012 (UTC)
 * Done Bill Reid | (talk) 15:52, 6 March 2012 (UTC)


 * Hi Cwmhiraeth, Thanks for taking this on. Just back to UK today and still jet-lagged but will get on to this tomorrow.  Rgds, --Bill Reid | (talk) 17:12, 5 March 2012 (UTC)