Talk:James McAvoy/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk • contribs • count ) 20:32, 11 September 2011 (UTC)

Will review in next day or two.  R uby  comment!  20:32, 11 September 2011 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:

Quick preliminary comments
done Crystal Clear x3 15:21, 12 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Deadlinks: there is an expiring link you might want to archive, and there is one deadlink (at bottom of list). Will get to actual review in a day or so. Thanks,  R uby   comment!  21:30, 11 September 2011 (UTC)

Further comments
I tried re-wording it but it still reads the same =/
 * Make clear the different between Scottish BAFTA and the BAFTAs. Looks a little odd right now (in lead and body)

Sourced the birthplace, removed middle name
 * "James Andrew McAvoy was born in Port Glasgow, Scotland, the son of Elizabeth (née Johnstone), a psychiatric nurse, and James McAvoy Senior, a builder.[1][2]" I don't see a lot of this information in the citations you gave. For instance, neither says anything about his full name or his birth place.

fixed
 * "His sister, Joy McAvoy, is a singer and actress.[5]" I think you need a better reference for this. Plus it doesn't say she's an actress


 * Close paraphrasing issue that needs to be fixed;
 * "He caught the eye of critics in the made-for-television 2002 screen adaptation of the book White Teeth.[14]"
 * From source: McAvoy caught the eye of critics in the small-screen adaptation White Teeth before being cast in a pivotal role in the sci-fi effort Children of Dune."
 * reworded


 * Ref 15: I can't access this one, but does it really say all of this: "2003 marked the year McAvoy had his first international starring role, which would be Leto Atreides II, in the Sci Fi Channel television miniseries Frank Herbert's Children of Dune, adapted from two of Frank Herbert's novels. It is one of the highest-rated programs ever to be aired on the channel.[15] " That seems like a lot for just an interview
 * I recall it stating the latter, with some brief bits of the plot. I've reworded the rest.

done
 * "Another 2004 release for him was Inside I'm Dancing, an Irish production helmed by Damien O'Donnell. In it, the actor was cast as the principal character: a maverick with duchenne muscular dystrophy." Needs ref


 * "Screenings of Atonement were held at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival (it was one of most acclaimed films there), and Venice Film Festival.[39][40] " Remove parentheses (integrate "most acclaimed..." into text). Also, I don't see anything saying it was one of the most acclaimed films at Toronto in the two refs cited.
 * Corrected the prose; from ref 39: One of the best-received films at this year's TIFF, Atonement tells the story of 


 * It's Owen Gleiberman
 * Is the misspelling in the prose or ref/s, because I couldn't find it in either 0_o


 * You should add more specific quotes from critics for a few of his earlier performances if you can find some good ones (I've seen this done for other bio articles, and think they always add a lot)
 * I did previously but most of the professional/rs-wrothy critics all praised him and I felt that it might make the article seem biased =/

done
 * You should mention in body his next two projects (Arthur Christmas and Welcome to the Punch) with citations (or add refs to table)

done
 * Add citation for McAvoy's birthdate (either in lead or infobox)

A nice article overall. On hold for seven days while above comments get addressed. Thanks,  R uby   comment!  04:06, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you for reviewing the article! :) Crystal Clear x3 19:37, 13 September 2011 (UTC)
 * You have either fixed the article per my comments or responded sufficiently. I'm happy to pass this one for GA. Nice work!  R uby   comment!  03:20, 14 September 2011 (UTC)