Talk:James McDivitt/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 21:34, 5 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments That's all for me. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 13:30, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I would merge the single-sentence opening "para" of the lead with the second para, and start the second sentence with "He".
 * ✅ Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Also USAF is overlinked and abbreviated on the second instance.
 * ✅ Corrected. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "Apollo Lunar Module" Apollo is part of the formal title.
 * ✅ Only on Wikipedia, but sure. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "brigadier general" this is capitalised in the infobox?
 * Correct, per MOS:MILTERMS. Ranks are conventionally capitalised in the Infoboxes for the benefit of automated processes that use them. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "rank of Tenderfoot Scout" no need to repeat Scout.
 * ✅ Piped. Strange but true: American men list their boy scout experience on their resumes. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "in July 1962.[5] By September 1962" repetitive, perhaps "The following September" or "Two months later..."?
 * ✅ Deleted "1962". Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "EVA ("spacewalk")" bit late in the article to start saying what EVA means to laypeople.
 * ✅ Moved the term up. I had thought that the term was obsolete, but Google ngrams says it is still in use. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "He got a camera and took" do we need, "got a camera and"?
 * ✅ You're right; I don't think he went round to Ted's and bought one. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Is there a link for Mylar insulation?
 * ✅ Changed to Multi-layer insulation. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "commander (CDR) of" CDR doesn't seem to be used anywhere?
 * ✅ Resolved. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "commanded by Frank Borman, with" overlinked.
 * ✅ Unlinked
 * "the CM and" what's CM?
 * ✅ Command Module. Changed to CSM to keep things consistent. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * PLSS isn't used anywhere.
 * ✅ Removed. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "and a Director" why is this capitalised?
 * ✅ De-capped. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "NASA Exceptional Service Medal.[23]" no full stop.
 * ✅ Deleted. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * "Hall of Fame in 2012.[40]" similarly
 * ✅ Deleted similarly. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ref 16, %?
 * ✅ Typo. Deleted. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Ref 22: "he American Presidency"?
 * ✅ Typo. Added. Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Ref 50, 51, we don't normally consider IMDB a reliable source.
 * ✅ Do I need more reasons to vote to abolish Pop Culture sections? Hawkeye7   (discuss)  20:38, 6 September 2021 (UTC)