Talk:Janet Marie Smith/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 14:39, 9 October 2021 (UTC)

I can take a look at this later today! —  Ghost River  14:39, 9 October 2021 (UTC)

Infobox and lede

 * "is a Major League Baseball (MLB) executive,"
 * "of several Major League Baseball (MLB) parks" "of several major and minor league ballparks"
 * "in Baltimore, MD, Atlanta, GA, Boston, MA, and Los Angeles, CA" "including in Baltimore, Atlanta, Boston, and Los Angeles."
 * Generally, per WP:LEADCITE, citations can be exempted from the lede because the information is contained in the body
 * The direct quote should also probably be in the body rather than the lede
 * Olympic Stadium should be linked to Centennial Olympic Stadium
 * Most of this reads as promotional rather than WP:NPOV

Background and education

 * Out of place double space after "In 1984, she obtained a"
 * Reorder the citations after "City College of New York" so that [7] comes before [11] and [12]
 * Merge into one paragraph to prevent single-sentence paragraphs

Career

 * Similar POV issues in this early section
 * Quotes should not be italicized, and it should be clear who's saying them
 * Major League Baseball is inconsistently capitalized throughout and should almost always be referred to by its acronym
 * a position she was promoted into, trivial/assumed
 * Those two bullet points should be incorporated into the prose
 * Similarly, why is it "1994 – 1988" but "1981 to 1984"?

Major league baseball projects

 * Why is [in the news] in brackets?
 * No citations in the first paragraph of this section at all
 * "old and beloved" NPOV
 * "quirky" dimensions NPOV

Other major league baseball projects

 * Technically these are Minor League Baseball projects

General comments

 * All photos are CC licensed and are relevant to the article
 * No stability concerns in the revision history
 * Copvyio score turns up at 32.9%, with those matches being mostly job titles that thus fall under WP:LIMITED

While I have not finished reviewing this article, what I have seen in terms of prose, references, and particularly neutrality of tone suggests that serious work still needs to be done on this article. That, combined with the fact that the nominator has not edited in upwards of a month, inclines me to ❌ this article for now. A fail is not a death sentence, and anyone is welcome to renominate once the issues I have suggested are addressed. —  Ghost River  15:15, 9 October 2021 (UTC)