Talk:Japanese battleship Hiei/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Parsecboy (talk) 12:51, 19 August 2010 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * In the 1914-1929 section, you say that the ship was placed in reserve in 1920 but then conducted a cruise of China in 1919. This should be in chronological order.
 * Done. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I think there are some Engvar issues; ex: armour but demilitarization.
 * I'll do my best to fix these. Canadian English is really a bastardized hybrid between AmEng and BritEng, which makes copyediting a pain. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I know Canadian English is sort of a mix of the two, but I wasn't sure what was what. Parsecboy (talk) 17:40, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * The last para is really long, could you split that somewhere?
 * I was thinking the same thing yesterday. I'll try and find somewhere where it can be split. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, I had thought of this during my initial review but then forgot to list it here. You should link to armor-piercing shot and shell in the armament section. Parsecboy (talk) 17:40, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I guess there's no reason I couldn't do this myself. Parsecboy (talk) 17:43, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * There are a couple fact tags that need to be fixed - should be no problem though.
 * Fact tags have been fixed. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * You might want to explain the bit about sinking the Imperator Nikolai I though (i.e,. explain that it had been taken into Japanese service and then sunk as a target). I imagine it's not clear now to non-experts what was going on there.
 * Alright. I've added a bit. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * You should spell out the connection between WWI and the Washington Treaty (people might read it and think "what? WWI was over 5 years before the WNT"). Also add when the treaty was signed (a year is fine, I think).
 * Done. Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I expect this is a typo, but in the demilitarization section, you say "at the end of November 1939. On 24 April 1930," That should be November 1930, right?
 * November 1929. Not sure what that 3 was doing in there...Cam (Chat)(Prof) 16:26, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm always amazed at the seemingly obvious typos I continually make... Parsecboy (talk) 17:40, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * Is there a source for File:HieiB17Nov13.gif - anyone should be able to tell it's a USAF photo, but it'd be nice to have the source.
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Not too much to do here before I'll pass the article for GA. Excellent work. Parsecboy (talk) 12:51, 19 August 2010 (UTC)
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Not too much to do here before I'll pass the article for GA. Excellent work. Parsecboy (talk) 12:51, 19 August 2010 (UTC)