Talk:Jared C. Monti/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Auntieruth55 (talk) 19:55, 28 January 2010 (UTC)


 * GA review (see here for criteria)


 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS):
 * this is much better (you're getting the hang of the writing), although it could still use some work.
 * In your LEAD the last two sentences are not mentioned in the article itself, so possibly you should just move them to the article, to the section about his award (I did this). I would also simplify the sentence where you say he was trying to rescue a man of his squad 3 times, just say he was trying to rescue, not the number of times.  That gives your story later some additional ooomph. I would also not cite anything in the lead. It is not necessary because presumably you've mentioned it again, and cited it in the article.
 * Prose I've cleaned up some of the problems in prose.  If you look at what I've done, you'll see that I've simplified the sentences, especially in the verb structure, to make your article read more smoothly.
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (references): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * Again, I have trouble understanding why you have separated your citations and "general" the way you have. It makes no sense to me, and it is not a matter of not wanting to use the cite templates.  Why aren't all your citations cited the same way?  And if you are going to take this further, you must have a complete bibliography that lists not only the books you've used, or a few books that others might use, but everything you've cited.  I will post on the talk page a format you can use, and it fits with the cite templates or if you do them individually.
 * Done - I thinkI fixed this and added some content and references to clarify things a bit.--Kumioko (talk) 08:24, 30 January 2010 (UTC)
 * You have 13 cited sources, but only 10 listed in the bibliography.
 * What makes Wicked local Raynham news  a reliable source?
 * Done - I added the other refs to theh bibliography and Wicked local is the local news agency in Rayhnam were hes from. --Kumioko (talk) 21:47, 31 January 2010 (UTC)


 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail: