Talk:Jarrod Saltalamacchia/GA1

GA Review
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Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 18:49, 2 September 2021 (UTC)

You took the trouble to type out "Saltalamacchia" all the times necessary to get this to GA level, and for that, you deserve a review! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:49, 2 September 2021 (UTC)

Lead

 * ”Born in West Palm Beach, Florida, Saltalamacchia's performance for the Royal Palm Beach High School baseball team drew the attention of scouts, and the Braves selected him in the first round of the 2003 MLB Draft.” – “Raised in West Palm Beach, Florida, Saltalamacchia attended Royal Palm Beach High School. His performance on the institution’s baseball team drew the attention of scouts, and the Braves selected him in the first round of the 2003 MLB Draft.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”to undergo the” – “to suffer from the” (Always tricky to figure out how to word this.)
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in Florida, and has” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Saltalamacchia's slumps continued through the remainder of his major league career, and most of his time with Detroit and Toronto were within their respective Triple-A organizations, where he helped mentor pitching and catching prospects like Grayson Greiner.” – “Saltalamacchia batted just .171 with the Tigers in 2016. Most of his time with Toronto and Detroit over the next two seasons was spent with their Triple-A affiliates, where he helped mentor pitching and catching prospects like Grayson Greiner.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Early life

 * Fun fact—Gabbard is one of two major leaguers to wear a Kason Gabbard jersey during a game. The other is Darren O’Day, who pitched his first game for the Rangers before they had a chance to get him a jersey of his own.
 * ” on baseball, and began fielding interest from scouts by his junior year.” – “on baseball. By his junior year, he was drawing interest from MLB scouts.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:03, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Draft and minor leagues

 * ”GCL Braves” – I’d spell it out the first time, since it’s an abbreviation—"Gulf Coast League (GCL) Braves.” Then, you could change Gulf Coast League championship title to GCL title later on.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”batted .239, with two” – no comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I’d make the sentence about the Seminoles the second sentence of this section (and don’t forget to re-list ref 5 as a ref after the first sentence).
 * ✅ I assume you mean [6]? —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Atlanta Braves (2007)

 * Link walk on first mention.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:03, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Saltalamacchia scored” – “Saltalamacchia recorded”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:03, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * I remember when it looked like Andruw Jones would easily hit 500 home runs.
 * ”Saltalamacchia batted in his” – “Saltalamacchia recorded his”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:03, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”batted .284, with” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:03, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Texas Rangers (2007-10)

 * ”He played in 61 games” – “Saltalamacchia played in 61 games” to make it clear we’re not still talking about Melhuse.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link Max Ramírez
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and stamina, while” – “and stamina and”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”in the position” – “at the position”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Winter Leagues, but had” – No comma needed.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link single on first mention
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Boston Red Sox (2010-13)

 * Add the accents (or whatever you call those things) for Román Méndez
 * ✅ Diacritics, I believe they're called! Comes up a lot with hockey players —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”for Jason Varitek” – “for the veteran Jason Varitek” – Makes clearer why they thought Saltalamacchia might replace him in 2011.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link doubles and triples on first mention
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link runs scored on first mention
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Spell out and link on-base percentage on first mention
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”After Kevin Cash” – “When Kevin Cash”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”whom he Saltalamacchia” – typo
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Who had the franchise record? Fisk?
 * ✅ Looks like it! '73 and '77! —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Link on-base percentage on first mention
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”Saltalamacchia scored a walk-off RBI” – “Saltalamacchia recorded a walk-off RBI”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”could not continue” – “did not continue”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Miami Marlins (2014-15)

 * ”Saltalamacchia score four” – “Saltalamacchia record four”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:03, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Arizona Diamondbacks (2015)

 * This section looks good!

Detroit Tigers (2016)

 * I’d label these sections “Detroit Tigers, first stint (2016)” and “Detroit Tigers, second stint (2018)” – or “First stint with the Detroit Tigers (2016)” and “Second stint with the Detroit Tigers (2018)”, whichever you prefer.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ” He acted as a mentor to young pitchers Michael Fulmer and Matthew Boyd, acting as the latter's personal catcher.” – “He acted as a mentor to young pitchers Michael Fulmer and Matthew Boyd, serving also as Boyd’s personal catcher.”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Toronto Blue Jays (2017)

 * ”Martin, and got” – “Martin, and he got”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”He was released” – “Saltalamacchia was released”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”on May 3, but signed” – No comma needed
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * ”and after batting” – “and after he batted”
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Second stint with the Tigers (2018)

 * Other than the proposed name change, this section looks good!

Retirement

 * Put (NESN) after the first mention of the New England Sports Network
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Actually, I’d move the last sentence of the section to the end of the 2017 section, explaining what he did after the Blue Jays released him. You can link and abbreviate NESN there.
 * ✅ —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

 * The last sentence of the first paragraph is kind of awkwardly phrased. I’d split it into two— “They have four daughters.  Jarrod is a Christian, and he listed his strong faith as one of the reasons he decided to coach baseball at a Christian school.”  (All this is supported by ref 97.)
 * ✅ Clarified that he and his family are Christians, just to help the flow from talking about family to faith —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Change Palm Beach Sheriff’s Department to Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office and remove the comma afterwards. (I think it’s usually office when it’s a sheriff and department when it’s police, though it’s always hard to keep track of such things!)
 * ✅ The source said department, which led me to believe no article existed —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)

Minor stuff as usual. Let me know when you've addressed the changes, and I'll give the article another look! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 19:46, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Everything should be done! —  Ghost River  15:56, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
 * Looks good now, passing! About the hardest name to type out over and over again, except perhaps for Erisbel Arruebarrena. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 17:01, 3 September 2021 (UTC)