Talk:Jay Civetti/GA1

GA Review
The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.''

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 21:33, 4 February 2018 (UTC)

Going to read this over and will leave comments soon. MWright96 (talk) 21:33, 4 February 2018 (UTC)
 * 1) It is reasonably well written.
 * a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
 * 1) It is factually accurate and verifiable.
 * a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):
 * 1) It is broad in its coverage.
 * a (major aspects): b (focused):
 * 1) It follows the neutral point of view policy.
 * Fair representation without bias:
 * 1) It is stable.
 * No edit wars, etc.:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * 1) It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
 * a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
 * 1) Overall:
 * Pass/Fail:
 * Pass/Fail:

Lead

 * Perhaps you could expand the lead further to include the achievements Civetti has achieved as coach of the Tufts

Pre-tufts career

 * "Civetti is a native of Wellesley, Massachusetts and attended Belmont Hill School in Belmont, Massachusetts"
 * "Having being recruited by legendary Division III football coach Don Miller" = legendary is POV per MOS:PUFF
 * "After graduating from Trinity in 2001 with an English degree" - reword this sentence so it reads as follows After graduating from Trinity with an English degree in 2001,
 * "and earned a Master's degree in education" - remove the capital letter from "Master's degree"
 * "While at Boston College, Civetti helped coach a future NFL Most Valuable Player, quarterback Matt Ryan." - While at Boston College, Civetti helped coach quarterback Matt Ryan, a future NFL Most Valuable Player.

Tufts career

 * "In 2009 – after Tufts' season had already ended –" - In 2009 – after the conclusion of the Tufts' season –
 * "Civetti returned to NC State" - Wikilink NC State to NC State Wolfpack football
 * "to snap its 31-game losing stream" - to break its 31-game losing streak
 * "The Jumbos also beat the Middlebury Panthers," - defeated
 * "On October 29, 2016, Tufts beat the Amherst Purple and White, 27–10, for the first time since 2007." - try On October 29, 2017, Tufts beat the Amherst Purple and White team for the first time since 2007 in a 27–10 victory.
 * "In 2016, Civetti coached the Jumbos to a 7–1 record and second-place finish in the NESCAC," - That year, Civetti coached the Jumbos to a second-place finish in the NESCAC with a 7–1 record,
 * "Four other players were also named to the All-NESCAC first team including senior" _ add a comma between the words "including" and "senior"