Talk:Jerry Atkinson (American football)/GA1

GA Review
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Nominator:

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 02:51, 19 March 2024 (UTC)

I'll review this one. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 02:51, 19 March 2024 (UTC)

Career
 * "In 1949, Packers' leadership" → "Packers leadership" - don't think you need a possessive, if you leave the apostrophe, recommend adding "the" before "Packers"
 * "Atkinson, as well as a number of other Packers supporters, helped organize" → simplify wording, maybe "Atkinson and a number of other Packers supporters helped organize"
 * "funding drive with a goal of $50,000 US$50,000" → duplicated
 * "to the Packers' board of directors
 * Is there a reason that "New City Stadium" is italicized?
 * "who advocated for causes related to the Packers" → because "Packers" is repeated a lot, maybe this could be changed to "related to the team"

Personal life
 * Location of death should be included in the body and cited.

That's all I've got on prose; pretty short article and the prose that's there is well written. PCN02WPS ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 02:51, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
 * , I think I got everything. Thanks for the review. « Gonzo fan2007  (talk)  @ 19:30, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
 * Looks good. No problems with spotchecks so happy to give this a pass. PCN02WPS  ( talk  &#124;  contribs ) 02:01, 20 March 2024 (UTC)